top of page

Search

217 results found with an empty search

  • What About all Those Things You Started but Never Finished?

    Recently, I checked into my drafts, and it was sad to say there were about 80 unfinished blog posts from 2020. I was shocked by the number, but moreso, I kept asking myself, “What happened?” and "What other things in my life are incomplete?" With so many responsibilities, career, parenthood, side hustles, etc, and people telling you that you are not doing enough, it can be so easy to become overwhelmed. There may be bigger issues at play like, being a woman bearing a lot of the mental load of a relationship while caring for two very young children during a whole pandemic, going through a divorce and unresolved chronic procrastination, perfectionism, and impostor syndrome that reared its ugly head. Wow. That list was long. No wonder I have almost 80 unfinished blog posts. No matter how many productivity apps I used, none of them made up for the fact that 24 hours wasn’t cutting it at that time. But now that I am in a better space, the question is, what are my next steps? What are the steps for people who start on a high, but abandon ship like the Titanic for whatever reason. Commit Before you get to creating a plan. Make a binding agreement with yourself that you will execute whatever plan you establish. The first thing I said to myself was “I have to do better." From there, you can start creating a plan that meets the SMART criteria . Create a plan “A goal without a plan is a wish.” No truer words have been spoken. Seeing things in writing serve as a reminder, allow you to visualize and also help you remain accountable to yourself. Otherwise as a parent nearing 40 with two young children, get one kid to interrupt me from the kitchen to the bathroom, and I forget everything. So I encourage you, write everything down. Whether you’re doing this digitally or old school with a pen and paper write down each goal and all the steps needed to achieve it. Be Accountable Remember that agreement you made to yourself, do your best to stick to it. Hold yourself accountable. Don’t fall into the trap of procrastination and excuses. Absent of crises, stick to your goals because nothing feels better than finishing what you started. How many things have you started in your life and not finished? What are you doing to complete them?

  • Lemonade Out of Lemons: Thriving While Being Woman, Minority, Immigrant and Black

    I moved to the US toward the end of fall on a November day in 2002. I packed a suitcase and possibly two bags on a flight bound to John F. Kennedy International Airport in Queens NY. I had just recently graduated from a community college and a month earlier said goodbye to my first love who moved away to England. It was a particularly difficult time, because even though I lost one love, I was being reunited with another. It was almost a year since my mother left. That was the longest we had ever been apart. We were stuck to the hip, so when she left, there was a gaping hole in my heart. She made the tough decision to move to the United States to start a new life. When she left, she promised that she would send for me and that we would see each other again soon. Well, she kept her word. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Unlike the many friends and family I knew whose parent(s) left them in the care of grandparents and other family members, only to reunite a decade or more as mere strangers, my mother left in my final year of completing my “A” Levels. I was quite capable of taking care of myself, but I still needed her financial support to finish my studies. When I was done with school, I tried job hunting, but was unsuccessful. Even though at the time, my heart wasn’t into any of the professions that didn’t allow me to exercise my creativity, I knew I just needed to work. This was pre smart phones, and all the professional apps that are now available. Like anywhere in the world, it’s about who you know and I knew no one in any kind of position to help me land a job. So, in perfect timing, my mother sent a ticket and on that cold day in November, I landed at JFK. I always say, "I never knew how black I was until I moved to to the United States." I say it with great humor, but it is really not a laughing matter. The land of opportunity, and milk and honey was about to teach me some major life lessons that I couldn’t possibly learn in my homeland. My friends and I have acknowledged a West Indian upbringing will give you confidence in your yourself and your capabilities like no other. I am probably biased and should not generalize, but growing up in a society where most of the people looked like me, and where my personhood was not always being questioned at every turn was a confidence booster. Maybe it had more to do with my upbringing, rather than simply the community I grew up in. In spite of that, I wasn’t prepared for the way I would be received and perceived in the country I now call home. The intersectionality of race, class and demographic matter so much more in the US. I am woman and black, minority and black, and immigrant and black. The common denominator is Black . The first time you’re confronted by the negative stereotypes associated with being a black woman, there is a degree of shock. You feel judged by a narrative that so many Black women do not identify with. This is highly problematic. It does not assign us the full spectrum of emotions, diversity of interests and of thought. Here, being a black woman you’re seen as a monolith, and if you color outside the lines, you’re deemed a living breathing unicorn, even by your own. No one cares if you grew up rich, poor or in between. We are assigned every negative attribute you can assign to a woman simply based on the richness of our melanin. The richer the melanin, the worse it gets. We are deemed to be “ loud, ‘ghetto’ (ghetto is a place), too dark, too much, bitter, angry, aggressive, unladylike, a baby mama, rude, unattractive, unmarried, and/or existing to cash welfare checks . ” We are collectively invalidated; a sordid reality that we are continuously viewed as the undesirables or against the norm. Nothing new here to see people, but I questioned in my earlier years here, “ How can Black women truly thrive in a society that consistently finds ways to minimize our existence from birth to death ?” We are the undesirables of the undesirable, in spite of the fact that we are the desirable. If you know, you know. I quickly realized we don’t have a choice, but to thrive . We always have and will continue to. From our ancestors to present day, black women have had to learn to rely on ourselves in so many aspects of our lives. This is both a trauma response and a realization that no one is coming to save us, even as we gather to heal while building community. We don’t always get that knight in shining armor and neither are we waiting. As a group, we will continue to occupy space anywhere and everywhere we want to, even when we are not necessarily welcomed. We do not let closed doors stop us from pursuing our passions and dreams; we will find a window and squeeze through. We are beauty. We are love. We are ambitious. We are healers and healing. We will continue to make lemonade out of lemons.

  • 6 Things You Need to do For a Less Stressful Move

    Over this summer, I moved out of my dreaded NYC apartment that I had only been in for less than a year. It managed to kill most of my plants due to lack of light. I shudder at the thought every time I think of my beloved plants, but I am now in a place where they are thriving and my family is happy. Moving can be stressful, but even moreso without hired help. Shelling out that extra money can be a lot for some families, so if you want to pocket it and put that toward expenses in your new home here are some of the tips to help make things move like a military captain. Organize Your Move There is no way around it. This is not a time in your life to wing it. There is no going around it, because you are doomed to fail at making your move work. Packing can take longer than you think, so grab a notebook, a board or use your phone to create your timeline for when each room should be complete. I encourage going by room, because it keeps you focused on the task at hand in a particular space without being pulled in every direction. The last thing you want is to feel anxious and overwhelmed because you are not as far as you planned. This strategy will be a life saver. Declutter, Donate, Discard Moving is a great opportunity to really take a look at your belongings and assess whether you really need an item or not? Does that item bring joy and does it hold any sentimental value that you would like to bring to your new space? You may also be asking yourself, does this go with the new style that I have in mind? With these factors in mind, go ahead and determine what finds a home in your new space, or what gets thrown out or donated. This not only means that you're able to make space for the the things you want in your rental truck, but you're also setting up a home that is not burdened with stuff you do not need, which in turn means less cleaning time. The benefits are huge. Get all hands on deck When I said organize like a military captain, I was not joking. Packing can take longer than you think, so it means, all hands on deck. Get everyone from the adults to the little people in your household to participate. You can also try to get help from family and friends to assist in the process. For children, I strongly encourage making these times a great way to connect and create excitement surrounding the move. It's a great opportunity for them to have their questions answered. Not only do they become familiar with the keep, donate and trash piles, they get a chance to to exercise their decision making skills surrounding their belongings. Moving is a big change, so having all hands on deck can also create a moment where all hearts can connect. Categorize Your Boxes to Make Unpacking Easier Be sure to get your packing supplies at least four weeks ahead whether you're trying to gather free boxes or purchase from moving companies. Your marker will become your best friend, so be sure to label every box. The last thing you need is to play the guessing game when you're unpacking. Pay special attention to breakable items and plants that need to be transported. Get help to pack and unpack the truck When moving day arrives, you will need lots of help. Don't try to do this alone, because you can severely underestimate how much time and effort it takes to get it done right. I strongly encourage using help from family and friends or hiring help which is usually offered by major truck rental companies. You will be so happy that you did, even though you decided to forego having movers take care of the entire process of moving for you. I was grateful to see hands show up on moving day at both the old and new residences. Also, be sure to follow the recommendations on the box of how to pack your truck. Start with heavy bulky items and distribute the weight evenly. Show Yourself Grace Moving without having a company take over from start to finish is the stressful. It is not for the faint at heart, because it will test everything in you, mentally, emotionally and physically. I recommend prioritizing some rest once you get to your new place. Everything can wait other than food and a good shower. You have done so much work to make this possible. At this moment, remember, tomorrow is another day and you will get to it then. (Photo Credit: Deposit Photos, Schleppers, Unsplash, bernadbodo/Adobe Stock, Annie Spratt/Unsplash) Have you moved recently and what was your experience? What other recommendations do you have?

  • 7 Quotes to Live By

    Life is a juxtaposition of events and emotions. It can be hard and beautiful. There is both joy and pain. You can dislike and love someone at the same time. The one thing that is certain is that life is always meant to be lived. As you go through this week, meditate on these quotes. 1. Realize that people don’t think about you as much as you think they do. Don’t waste time thinking about what people may or may not be thinking. 2. People don’t know how to navigate life. Everyone makes it up as they go along. Some are better at faking it. 3. Give to others. You’ll find what you’re looking for by helping others. 4. Don’t waste much time trying to figure life out. It’s been a mystery since the dawn of mankind. Greater minds have spent their entire lives trying to solve the same mystery. It’s unlikely to be solved in the next 40 years by yours truly. 5. Practice gratitude. Remember that someone, somewhere, is praying for things that you take for granted. 6. Don’t be so serious. Laugh a lot. It makes your brain light up. Make sure every day is filled with laughter. This usually happens when you’re surrounded by those you love, and who love you back.   7. Shy away from revisiting the past (regret) and predicting the future (anxiety). What are some of your favorite quotes that you live by?

  • Exploring Albany Pine Bush Preserve

    This week has been one of new beginnings and a deeper understanding of what I need in my life to feel like I am thriving. More and more, I see it's the small things. One of these simple pleasures is hiking. Moving around mountainous terrain is comforting for an island girl like myself. Growing up, I was surrounded by fruits, vegetable, and many tropical plants in my small fishing village. Maybe I am now trying to replicate the experiences of my childhood, but whatever the motivation, I am here to experience the great outdoors. Last Sunday, the family and I went hiking at the Albany Pine Bush Preserve , which I would consider to be a great beginner trail. The girls were super excited. Even in New York City, we were very outdoorsy, so being surrounded by even more trees and less noise was something that made them extremely happy. We decided to tackle the blue trail where we encountered many families exploring. It was fun meeting them along the way, so it wasn't an isolating experience. We also met two elders who seemed very happy to be on this gentle trail. After tackling that entire trail with meaningful conversations, and a few funny encounters, we walked back over to the Discovery Center. There, we were greeted by a wonderful young lady who gave us a wealth of information about the Pine Bush Preserve habitat and how it is maintained. We made our way through the displays. We left feeling so much calmer and more informed than when we came in. Remember, walking (for those who are able) can be an easy self-care strategy to incorporate in your life. Make time to connect with nature and get to know your city through exploration. Share your city and the best walking/hiking trails you've been on.

  • 10 Motivational Quotes to Keep You Inspired this Season

    There is so much beauty in this life. Unfortunately, amidst life's chaos and the loudness of the season, it is easy to feel deflated and uninspired. Here are 10 motivational quotes to uplift and guide you through the messiness of life. 1. "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and positive change. 2. "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." - Maya Angelou     Empower yourself by choosing how you respond to life's challenges. 3. "The only way out is through." - Robert Frost Face challenges head-on; sometimes, the journey through adversity leads to strength and resilience 4. "Every problem is a gift—without problems, we would not grow." - Tony Robbins Shift your perspective and view challenges as opportunities for personal development. 5. "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lou Holtz  Reflect on how you handle challenges, and consider adjusting your approach for a lighter load. 6. "Difficulties in life are intended to make us better, not bitter." - Dan Reeves Find the silver lining in tough times and let them shape you into a stronger, wiser individual. 7. "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb Understand that challenges refine and bring out the best in us. 8. "Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt Maintain a positive mindset; your belief in yourself is a powerful force. 9. "No shortcuts exist to the top of a palm tree." - African Proverb Focus on your goals and recognize there are no shortcuts to success. 10. "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" - Mary Anne Radmacher Understand that resilience often comes from the quiet determination to keep going, one step at a time. You have the tools to navigate through challenges with grace, resilience, and a positive outlook. Remember, you've got this!

  • 5 Habits to Incorporate at the End of Each Workday

    Work is a privilege that many of us share—it gives us purpose, structure, and the ability to contribute to something larger than ourselves. Yet, it also comes with its fair share of challenges. Stress, fatigue, and burnout are becoming increasingly common in our fast-paced, always-on work culture. This growing issue not only affects our productivity but also takes a significant toll on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. If you’ve ever felt the weight of a hectic workday following you home, you’re not alone. However, there are simple habits you can incorporate into your daily routine to help alleviate these stresses and create a clear boundary between work and personal life. These habits can help you transition smoothly out of “work mode,” leaving space for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation. Here are five habits  to try at the end of your workday to stave off the negative effects of busy and hectic days: 1. Reflect on the Day: After logging off, take a few quiet moments to reflect on your day. Think about the highlights—what went well, what challenges you overcame, and any lessons you learned. Did you handle a tough situation with grace? Celebrate that. Did you learn something new? Acknowledge it. This reflection serves as a form of closure for the day, allowing you to process your experiences and make sense of them. It’s also an opportunity to express gratitude, even for small wins, which can shift your mindset to one of positivity and growth. 2. Disconnect from Work Email: Notifications follow us everywhere, so it’s crucial to establish boundaries between work and personal time. Commit to disconnecting from work emails, chats, and other communication platforms once your workday is over. This intentional boundary sends a clear message to yourself and others: your personal time is valuable. Letting go of work-related stressors during your off-hours not only prevents burnout but also allows you to fully engage in the other aspects of your life. 3. Engage in Physical Activity: Movement is a natural stress reliever, and incorporating physical activity into your post-work routine can do wonders for your overall wellbeing. Whether it’s a brisk walk in the neighborhood, a yoga session to stretch out the tension, or an intense workout to sweat out the day’s frustrations, the key is to find something you enjoy. Physical activity releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood boosters, helping you feel more relaxed and rejuvenated. It’s also an excellent way to signal to your brain that it’s time to transition out of “work mode.” 4. Mindful Transition Ritual: Sometimes, we need a clear cue to mark the end of the workday. A mindful transition ritual can be as simple or elaborate as you like. Change into comfortable clothes, take a shower, light a candle, play some calming music, or spend five minutes practicing deep breathing or meditation. The ritual acts as a mental and physical signal that the workday is over, allowing you to fully embrace your personal time. Over time, this routine can become a comforting and grounding practice that you look forward to each evening. 5. Plan for Tomorrow: Before you fully wind down, spend a few minutes organizing your thoughts for the next day. Write down your top priorities, outline key tasks, or jot down reminders. This simple act can help clear your mind and give you a sense of control over what’s coming next. By planning ahead, you’re creating a mental boundary that allows you to “close the loop” on today’s work. This reduces the likelihood of intrusive work-related thoughts interrupting your evening and helps you approach tomorrow with clarity and focus. Incorporating these habits into your after-work routine doesn’t have to be overwhelming or time-consuming. Small, consistent changes can add up, creating a ripple effect that improves not just your evenings but your overall sense of well-being. Work-life balance is not just about working less—it’s about living more fully. By prioritizing habits that nurture your mind and body, you can create space to unwind, recharge, and show up as your best self—both at work and in life. Which of these habits will you try tonight? Share your experiences and let’s continue the conversation about finding balance in a busy world.

  • For When You Feel Like Giving Up

    The last week has been rough for a myriad of reasons, one of which includes the burial of my grandfather. With his passing, I have been in a place of deep contemplation and reflection, because death tends to have that effect on me. Since I could not make it to his funeral, I was able to view live on YouTube—thanks to modern technology. My uncle got up to the pulpit of the Roman Catholic Church where I did my First Communion, and gave a great eulogy about his deceased father. He said that my grandfather was a true master of many crafts and that he was able to provide for his family having never worked for another individual. He emphasized the importance of family to my grandfather and how all his efforts were directed to the well-being of his family. I felt like he was speaking and pouring into my soul, because over the last few months, I have been thinking about the direction of my career.   It seemed like I was searching for an answer and guidance and he provided it for me. In that moment, I also thought of my own father, his son, who always worked for himself. You see, I come from a paternal bloodline of very ambitious and creative individuals. What I have learned from them, is to go after what you want in this life. If you have been contemplating starting a business, have started one that hasn't generated much income, or have an established business that you are starting to question its purpose, I implore you to start asking your "Why?"  Examine whether the answer that once inspired, motivated, and carried you is the same answer. If not, how has it changed and are you prepared to make the necessary changes to get you on the path that you're seeking? I am a strong believer in knowing when to give up. Giving up on something is okay, especially when you are certain it is the right move for you. It is also okay to persevere for a dream, especially one that has lived within you for a long time. As you go into the beginning of your week, I say go with faith and with God (or whomever or whatever you believe in). We all at the end of the day answer to ourselves at some point, and I hope your answer will always be, "I gave it my all." Share moments in your life when you felt giving up was the best call or when you persevered. (Photo by Diane Simumpande)

  • Balancing Tranquility and Organization: Integrating Slow Living and Anti-Productivity Principles into Home Organization

    There is a relentless pursuit of productivity in our society, and the only way to counteract that is to incorporate the principles of slow living and anti-productivity, especially in our homes. Achieving a harmonious balance between tranquility and organization may seem daunting, but is possible. Transform your living space may be the start to something new and refreshing. Let’s explore practical ways to infuse the essence of slow living and anti-productivity into your home organization endeavors. Start by adopting a mindful approach to decluttering. Instead of rushing through the process, take the time to assess each item’s significance. Ask yourself whether it aligns with your values and contributes to a peaceful living environment. Letting go of unnecessary possessions can be a cathartic experience, creating space for what truly matters. Intentional storage solutions. Slow living is about intentionality, and this extends to your choice of storage solutions. Instead of opting for purely utilitarian options, select containers, shelves, and organizers that resonate with your aesthetic preferences. The act of organizing becomes more meaningful when it aligns with your personal style and contributes to a visually pleasing space. Create zones for presence. Designate specific areas in your home where the principles of slow living can flourish. Whether it’s a cozy reading nook, a meditation corner, or a family gathering space, these zones should encourage mindful presence and relaxation. Infuse these areas with elements that bring you joy, fostering a sense of tranquility. Mindful maintenance. Slow living isn’t just a one-time overhaul; it’s a continuous  practice. Incorporate mindful maintenance into your routine. Instead of viewing cleaning and organizing as chores, approach them as opportunities for presence and reflection. Enjoy the process, and let go of the need for perfection. Rethink time management. Anti-productivity doesn’t mean abandoning all forms of structure. Rather, it involves rethinking your approach to time management. Create realistic  schedules that allow for pauses and moments of reflection. Embrace a flexible mindset that prioritizes well-being over a constant need to achieve. Balance routine and spontaneity . Slow living is about finding a balance between routine and spontaneity. While organization thrives on structure, leave room for unplanned moments. Allow your days to unfold naturally, and don’t be afraid to deviate from the schedule when it feels right. This balance can bring a sense of freedom and joy to your daily life. Cultivate gratitude. Slow living encourages gratitude for the present moment. As you organize your home, take time to appreciate the journey and the positive changes you’re making. Cultivating gratitude can enhance your overall well-being and infuse your living space with a positive energy. Integrating the principles of slow living and anti-productivity into home organization is a transformative process that goes beyond mere tidiness. It’s about creating a living space that resonates with your values, promotes mindful presence, and fosters a sense of tranquility. By infusing intentionality into every aspect of organization, you can achieve a harmonious balance that elevates both your living environment and your overall well-being.

  • Celebrating Black History Month: Empowering Black Communities Through Organizing

    As we commemorate Black History Month, it’s essential to recognize and celebrate the contributions of Black people, in the realm of the home. While the field of organizing may not always receive the recognition it deserves within historical narratives, Black people have long played a significant role in promoting order, efficiency, and well-being within their homes and communities and that of others who can afford their services. We’ll explore the intersection of Black culture and home organizing, highlighting the rich traditions and innovative approaches that have shaped this vital aspect of daily life. Honoring Tradition: The Legacy of Homekeeping in Black Culture Throughout history, Black communities have demonstrated a deep reverence for the home as a sanctuary and a symbol of resilience and pride. From the practices of tidying and cleaning passed down through generations to the creation of sacred spaces that reflect cultural heritage, homekeeping has been a central aspect of Black family life. In many households, the art of organization is imbued with cultural significance, representing not only practicality and efficiency but also a connection to ancestors and traditions. Empowerment Through Order: The Transformative Power of Home Organizing Home organizing goes beyond mere aesthetics; it is a transformative practice that empowers individuals to take control of their environments and enhance overall well-being. For Black individuals and families, organizing the home can be a form of self-care and resistance against systems of oppression that seek to diminish their worth and agency. By reclaiming space, decluttering, and creating systems that reflect their values and priorities, Black individuals assert their right to live in environments that nurture and support them. Cultivating Community: Sharing Knowledge and Resources In addition to its individual benefits, home organizing within Black communities fosters a spirit of collaboration and collective empowerment. Through informal networks, community organizations, and social media platforms, Black organizers share tips, resources, and encouragement to support one another in their organizing journeys. These spaces provide opportunities for mentorship, skill-building, and advocacy, amplifying the voices of Black organizers and challenging stereotypes about who can excel in the field of organizing. Looking Ahead: Celebrating Diversity and Inclusion in Home Organizing As we celebrate Black History Month, it’s crucial to recognize the ongoing contributions of Black organizers and advocates to the broader organizing community. By centering diverse voices and experiences, we can create a more inclusive and equitable field that reflects the richness and complexity of the human experience. Whether through honoring cultural traditions, advocating for social justice, or promoting sustainable practices, Black organizers continue to inspire and lead the way towards more organized, harmonious, and empowered communities. This Black History Month, let us celebrate the legacy, resilience, and creativity of Black people in the realm of home organizing. To further show support, follow some of these experts on social media. By honoring tradition, embracing empowerment, cultivating community, and championing diversity, we can create spaces that reflect the beauty and strength of Black culture while fostering greater harmony and well-being for all. Together, let us continue to organize, uplift, and empower one another as we shape the future of home organizing for generations to come. (Photo: Woman at home - Eva Katalin, Women talking - The Brooklyn Ink, Multiple Organizers - Ehow)

bottom of page