Let’s Talk Puberty

Lately in our household, the topic of puberty has come up more often than I’d like to admit. My daughter, who has just turned 10, is experiencing a whirlwind of changes, both physical and emotional. As if that wasn’t enough, her younger sister, who is 8, is thoroughly fascinated by what’s going on with her big sis and especially curious about why there’s so much talk about “boobs” and “periods.” Oh, and let’s not forget that these little minds want answers… right now. It’s like I’m running a mini-informational Ask Me Anything on all things bodily functions, hormones, and personal growth.

So, how are we navigating this delicate minefield of puberty? Let me tell you, it’s like trying to dance through a cloud of awkwardness while wearing a full suit of armor. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’re a “no topic is off the table” household, and I absolutely take pride in being the one to answer all of their questions. Why? Because I’d rather have my girls informed by me, their well-meaning and slightly exhausted mom, than some uninformed peer or, heaven forbid, random internet searches that might lead them to less-than-reliable sources (Google, we need to talk). Plus, there’s a certain sense of satisfaction in watching my 10-year-old look at me and say, “Oh, that’s how periods work? Cool.”

Let’s backtrack for a second: I’ve been preparing for this moment since before my kids could even speak. Oh yes, before they even had full sentences, I was already laying the groundwork. I didn’t pull any punches with the anatomical terms. No “tummy” for the stomach. No “down there” for the private parts. Nope. We use exactly what the human body is supposed to be called: vulva, penis, vagina, breasts. You name it, they know it. And you know what? It’s made our “body talk” way easier. Not only are we minimizing any confusion, but it also means they can identify inappropriate touch or behavior if ever necessary. Knowing the right words is empowering, not uncomfortable.

Fast-forward to the present, and now puberty is in full swing. As we tackle topics like body hair (spoiler: it’s coming, kiddo, and it’s not just on your head), periods, and the ever-important “what exactly is happening with my emotions right now?” (answer: nothing makes sense), I find that keeping the discussions light, factual, and relatable helps avoid the "Oh god, I’m dying" vibe that some puberty talks have. And yes, there’s a lot of giggling. Oh, the giggling.

We had one of those conversations that went from curiosity, discomfort and then to informational. My 8 year old had a question that piggybacked on me saying that a girl is capable of becoming pregnant and having a baby when she starts her period. She asked, “Mommy, when you and daddy decided to have a baby, did you have sex? What is sex?”

I told her that these are both great questions. “It’s when two adults who love each other consent or agree to let each other kiss, and touch private areas like the breasts and vulva. What is most important is that they both have to agree to it.”

My older daughter went, “Ewwww! Gross!”

I quickly reminded her that there is nothing gross about it, but it is something that only adults should engage in when they love each other. Sex is what helps create life and bring babies into the world.

I do my best to make sure to keep things from feeling awkward or overly “parental,” so I try to make the conversation less of a lecture and more of a dialogue. This way, they can ask questions as they come up, without feeling like they’ve interrupted some emotional presentation on "How To Become a Woman." It’s less about me sharing my wisdom and more about their curiosity being addressed in real time. Because honestly? They’re going to have more questions than I have answers for, and I’m trying to keep up.

Now, as for how to avoid making it cringe? Well, that's a whole other skill set. First off, I don't over-explain. I give them what they need, when they need it. No lengthy “life lessons” about the emotional rollercoaster that is puberty (unless they ask, of course). If my daughter asks, “Why do I have hair in places I didn’t have hair before?” I respond with, “Well, your body is getting ready to go through some changes, and that’s one of them.” If she wants more detail, I give it. I just try to remember that I’m not talking to my grown-up friends, I’m talking to a 10-year-old. We stay on their level, not mine.

Also, the humor. Oh the humor. Puberty is awkward for everyone involved, so why not embrace it? We’ve had whole conversations where I, as a joke, throw in something ridiculous like, “And don’t forget, when you start wearing bras, it’s not just for support… it’s a secret weapon against all those people who might ask, ‘Are you cold?’” (Oh, you know the ones). Does it lighten the mood? Absolutely. Does it make my daughters feel comfortable asking follow-up questions? You bet.

I also make sure to follow up often. I have a new family tradition where, every couple of weeks, I ask my 10 year old if she’s heard any new interesting things about puberty or bodies from school. This way, they know I’m always open to more questions. Sometimes, it’s just an offhand “Hey, is there anything weird you’re hearing at school that doesn’t make sense to you?” and she’ll open up. And let me tell you, the things they hear from other kids, but hey, it’s all part of the process.

At the end of the day, I’m just trying to keep it real—an open, honest, and (mostly) comfortable environment where no question is too awkward or off-limits. Because I know that one day, I’ll look back at this stage and laugh… and probably cry a little bit too. Puberty is the ultimate rollercoaster. And I’m just trying to keep my arms and legs inside the ride at all times.

(Feature photo from © fizkes - stock.adobe.com and