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I want to reshare a post that remains relevant, especially during this time of year. May you always remember the meaning of this season. The holidays are fast approaching, and the season of giving is in full swing. Nothing evokes winter quite like the crisp chill in the air, cozy nights filled with classic Thanksgiving and Christmas movies, and the endless baking adventures happening in my kitchen. Add in a steaming mug of peppermint hot cocoa, and I’m in my happy place. The pinnacle of it all is when we begin decorating for Christmas —not long after Halloween, though the tree doesn’t go up until after Thanksgiving. I look forward to the celebrations that capture the essence of the season in small and meaningful ways. All these traditions bring a sense of warmth and belonging. There’s truly nothing like the joy of the holidays, but it makes me wonder: how can we extend these sentiments throughout the year? Although this season is traditionally celebrated as a time of selfless giving and compassion, the cultural tone has noticeably shifted over the years. What was once rooted in acts of kindness and communal spirit now often feels reduced to the transactional ritual. The deeper meaning of connection, generosity of heart, and community can easily get lost in the noise. While gift-giving tends to peak during this time, it’s worth pausing to reflect on why  we give, not just during Christmas, but as an ongoing expression of care throughout the year. Giving is more than a physical exchange; it is a mental, emotional, social, and spiritual offering. Whether it’s a tangible item or something as simple as shared time and presence, the heart of giving lies in thoughtfulness, love, and intentional connection. This is what makes the act of giving so powerful and enduring. To truly embrace its spirit, here are three core aspects of authentic giving that empower us all—beyond the holidays and into everyday life: Give selflessly, without an agenda. All you have to do is go on an app to see people publicize acts of kindness. So many times, I question whether it is performative or truly from a place of genuine concern. We need to remember that true generosity comes from a place of sincerity, not self-interest. The focus shouldn't just be on the act itself, but on how it is received and the impact it has. When giving becomes about optics or personal gain, it loses its essence and becomes a mere transaction. Authentic giving builds bridges of compassion and connection within a community—it should never come with strings attached. Give without expecting anything in return. Real giving isn't about reciprocity; it’s about responsibility, social, communal, and human. Those with more have the privilege to uplift those with less, whether or not the gesture is ever repaid. In some cultures, there isn’t even a word for “thank you” because generosity is so ingrained—it’s simply a way of life. Growing up in a culture where kindness, sharing, and bartering are part of daily existence, I’ve come to understand that giving is the foundation of community. It is not a favor, but a shared understanding of support. See giving as planting a seed. E very act of giving is a seed planted, one that may bloom into a connection, trust, or a deeper relationship. Whether you're offering your time, attention, or even a simple gift, you’re creating space for something meaningful to grow . Often, it’s not the object or gesture itself, but the intention behind it that resonates. Giving is a way of saying, I see you, you matter,  and that kind of energy has the power to echo far beyond the moment. By keeping these three elements in mind, the art of giving becomes easier. At various points in life, we are all both givers and receivers, making it essential to adopt principles that nurture a mindset of generosity as a shared social responsibility, not just a kind gesture. While this may sound idealistic, consistently practicing these values can offer deeper insight into the true purpose of giving. There is joy to be found in giving—not in the reward, but in the connection it creates and the humanity it honors.

Who would think of visiting Montréal at the coldest time of year? Me. As a New Yorker of 20 years, it may be hard to believe that my first visit to the city of Montréal was in February during the kids' midwinter recess. I thought it would be great for my daughters and I to get out of our town to visit my childhood friend. We hit I-87 North on a very gloomy day. Despite the sometimes rainy weather, we enjoyed the most picturesque view of snow capped mountains and ice covered hillsides while driving up to the border entry at Champlain-St.Bernard de Lacolle. I was asked, " Are we there yet? " about thirty times by my younger daughter, before we made it to Côte-des-Neiges on the island of Montreal. You can imagine my fatigue. When we arrived in Montreal, I happened to parked across the street from a Vietnamese spot Restaurant I am Pho where we ordered pho and some spring rolls. The girls and I devoured it. Surprisingly, it was pretty warm for this time of year, so we walked over for an early check-in at Hôtel Terrasse Royal. The staff was kind and accommodating and I was happy to have parking on the premises. We checked into our room, got a little rest and went out for a walk as the rain subsided. I was hoping to get us to Saint Joseph's Oratory, but this was the beginning of discovering that so many sites in Montréal are under construction. On our outing the following day, much like the oratory, the Montréal Botanical Garden 's exhibits were closed and under construction. Only the outdoor space was opened, so we decided to get tickets for the Biodôme instead, where we enjoyed many of the exhibits. On the final and coldest day of 14 degrees Fahrenheit, my friend and I met in the neighborhood of Vieux-Port at the Montreal Science Center . This moment was so long overdue and I was extremely excited to see my friend. We embraced each other and I was just happy to see the person who was a big part of my teen years. We were later joined by her brother and got a chance to walk around Place Jacques Cartier. After much thought, we settled on lunch at Bevo Bar + Pizzeria where we enjoyed some great food. I had my first taste of poutine and a memorable end to a short, but beautiful trip. I look forward to being back soon. (Photo credit: Saint Joseph's Oratory in winter Jason Thibault; Hôtel Terrasse Royal Trip Advisor)

Last weekend, my daughters and I spent an afternoon at the New York State Museum. On the surface, our plan was simple: visit the museum to see the gems and first peoples exhibit, but instead, we happened to be greeted by the Barbie Expo . I was immediately excited, even more excited than my daughters. I was flushed with memories of my few childhood Barbie dolls and what was a simple plan turned into a meaningful experience. As we approached the museum, through the glass entry, I could see the was Barbie car perched on a platform for display. My younger daughter headed straight to the car and took a seat. We then headed straight to the exhibit that features a priceless collection of over 300 artifacts from the 64-year history of Barbie. Barbie, after all, isn’t just a doll—it’s an icon, a cultural touchstone, and for them, a figure of endless imagination. First impression of a world in pink . For me, Barbie represents something else entirely: nostalgia, creativity, and the quiet realization that time keeps moving forward, even as some things remain familiar. It immediately drew me in with its vibrant displays and thoughtful presentation. Behind glass cases stood dolls from various eras, each styled meticulously and telling a story beyond plastic and fabric. The sparkly gowns, dramatic hairstyles, and Barbies posed as doctors, athletes, artists, and astronauts. Every few steps brought a new discovery. I loved watching their excitement unfold, seeing how something as simple as a doll could spark so much joy and curiosity. Nostalgia meets the present. While we absorbed in the magic of it all, I found myself drifting into memories of my own childhood. I remembered sitting on the floor for hours, inventing elaborate storylines for my Barbies and crafting clothes made from the scraps of my grandmother’s fabric. Seeing vintage Barbies from earlier decades felt like flipping through an old photo album, each doll reflecting a different era and a different version of girlhood. Barbie had changed over time, but the essence remained the same. More than fashion and fun. What impressed me most about the Barbie Expo was how thoughtfully it was curated. This wasn’t simply a collection of dolls dressed in beautiful clothes; it was a reflection of social change and evolving ideas about what girls and womencan be. The exhibit showcased Barbies in a wide range of professions, from science and medicine to sports and the arts. There were dolls representing different cultures, styles, and identities, quietly reinforcing the idea that there is no single way to be. These displays opened the door to natural conversations with my daughters. We talked about why it’s important to see yourself represented in the world around you. It was just honest, organic dialogue sparked by what we were seeing together. The Barbie Expo at the New York State Museum gave us more than an afternoon of entertainment. It gave us conversation and connection. Sometimes, they come from wandering through a museum, surrounded by pink displays, holding your children’s hands as they discover the world and themselves. Those are the moments that linger.

Yesterday marked a major milestone. I had my last therapy session yesterday morning and I am a bit sad that the stranger who played a significant role in my life for a few months is now gone. She listened to me, and made me feel that my voice was being heard. And now it’s gone. I started going to therapy earlier this year. Many factors brought me to the realization that I needed support. I am a wife, a mom to two toddlers, a college student, and a chronic illness survivor ( fibromyalgia ). There were also other responsibilities outside of these roles and it added to everything. I was taking three classes, some at night. I was waking around 4:45 a.m. to prepare lunches, get myself and the girls ready to take them to school by train. We were usually out of the door by 7:15 a.m. and at their schools by 8 a.m. I then commuted to work for about another thirty-five minutes. Whether it was school first or work first, my schedule was always consistent with the frequent commuting. I rode the train back to pick them up, then we returned home. We then did baths, dinner and story time. After that came clean up and tons of homework that on average had me up till 12 a.m and sometimes later. If you do the math, I was getting no more than five hours on a typical night . Weekends were not any better, because I tried to cram in activities for the kids, more studying and household chores. I had no social life. Everything I did was for my children and my education. I had been doing this for a year and I was burning out quickly from both ends . I was sleep deprived and extremely fatigued all the time. I found myself going into my closet to cry more often than I could count. I didn’t want my children to see me like that. I was in more pain than I had been in a long time, but I kept pushing myself. I got frequent fibromyalgia flares that lasted longer with more fibro fog symptoms. It was bad. It was really bad. There was one incident that took place. It was so insignificant, but I had such a strong reaction to it. I was irritated by it and I let it be known. I upset my mom. The following day was Mother’s Day and I was crying to my mom in her kitchen. Even writing about it makes me want to cry. All I kept saying to my mom was, “I’m so tired mom,” while crying. Shortly after, I made an appointment at my college’s counseling center. I knew it was time to seek an objective sounding board. I could no longer tell myself I was managing things, because I wasn’t. I was barely surviving. I was hanging by the skin of my teeth. I finally had to acknowledge during our initial meetings that I wasn’t taking care of myself and I was doing such a poor job of it. I was taking care of everyone, and neglecting myself. It was only then change began to take place. The unfortunate part is this story is so common for so may women, and yet this vicious cycle keeps repeating itself decade after decade, century after century. So many factors impact our wellness, but knowing that there are resources and a community willing to help makes a world of a difference. NYC Summer, Renata Poleon I am happy to have gone through this painful and torturous experience, because I now have the right tools for maintaining my wellness. I am feeling better. No more crying in my closet. I fall asleep many nights with my kids, and I have many more outlets to cope with stress and anxiety. Being well is easier said than done. It is an uphill battle, and it will never be perfected, but it is worth being made a priority. A well woman is a well wife, a well mother, a well daughter and a well friend. Make the step today.

I would love to say I’m sleeping like this baby, but I am not. I am tired. I am tired beyond belief. I am drained. Drained by the deaths in my family, the life changes that are taking place and even this election. My sleep routine has turned to garbage over the years and even worse lately. I am struggling to get back to sleeping like a normal person, even though I am not sure what that even means. Over the last few years, I have become a horrible sleeper. I am not sure if it is my fibromyalgia or mild to moderate anxiety. Night time is horrible for me, because I have an insane need to make sure that my entire apartment is clean before laying my head to bed, no matter how tired I am. I am driven by a fear of an invasion of rodents and roaches, and if you live in a city where you share walls, you’ll understand. I look at the clock and see 10p.m, then 11p.m and later, only to find my self still vacuuming and cleaning. I have to be one of thousands who clean when stressed. You can see your face on my floors when I am done cleaning. I decide to make changes and I will succeed for about a week, then fall off the bandwagon. So, how are you sleeping? What are your best tips for falling asleep? I’d love to hear...

Wouldn’t bathtime be great if the children remained calm, and allowed the warm water to soothe their itty bitty hearts? It would be great, but the reality is, sometimes it just doesn’t go like that. When faced with multiples especially, it can quite honestly be another place for chaos to ensue. So here are some of the ways that I keep the chaos at bay. Keep a routine Children respond well to structure and routine. It’s important to create a bath time routine so that they become familiar. It regulates their internal clock, so that bath time doesn’t become a struggle. Keep toys to a minimum Sounds counterproductive, but it really works. If you have one child, this may apply, but works even better with multiples. Give them toys that are almost identical, case in point, the connectors above. I can’t tell you the number of times I put in too many differing toys and my girls were screaming and crying about who gets what. With less toys, I have found it sparks their creativity and they get along better. Dim the lights Since you’re setting the mood for sleep, it is actually a great idea to start at bath time. If you have a dimmer, make use of it. If not, use flameless candles with lights outside the bathroom door on. To make it even more fun, add glow sticks. That’s always a hit. Play calming music The perfect pairing of calm music and dim lights can do the trick. In our household, we love the Moshi app and the Relax Melodies app. Create your own special mix for bath time Add color Add a few drops of food coloring to the bath water toward the end of bath time. My girls love the fact that they can request what color the water is and even get a chance to mix colors. Since I have been doing this, I have had no staining and please confirm whether your child may be allergic to food coloring before doing this. Provide grooming items Hand them items such as hair brushes and wash cloths (or whatever is used to wash their bodies) if they’re old enough to use them. It’s also a great way for them to start learning to use it on their toys. Create a safe space Making bath time a safe space is extremely important. Both of my girls hate water being poured over their heads. For this reason, I really walk them through what I am doing and we do the lean back approach. Whatever your child’s fears may be, take it into consideration and find a method that works for both of you. I wish all of us parents a happy and calm bath time.

When my partner proposed to me 12 years ago, the only place I thought of getting married, was at City Hall. Simple and easy just the way we like it. The whole experience was unlike any other. Just being in a waiting area surrounded by so many couples dressed down or up, but all here for the same reason. Here are some of the photos that will live on forever… The day On a rainy and relatively warm December day in 2012, we made our way to city hall in Manhattan. We had to make a stop to get our rings in downtown Brooklyn that were ready on that day. With my mom we made it to lower Manhattan to be meet our second witness and the photographer. Afterwards, we all went to Tartinery Nolita Restaurant Bar Café, for a great meal. How did I find a dress and decide on flowers? I hunted for a dress to exhaustion and finally found a DVF store in SoHo a few days before our wedding. It was paired with a pair of off-white Anne Klein shoes and a bouquet of roses and hydrangeas that I bought from a quaint flower shop on John Street in Tribeca. Hydrangeas were always going to be part of the bouquet. What do you remember most about that day? Exiting the building and realizing that it was still raining. I am a pluviophile. There is nothing more soothing than rain and rainy days. It felt like the ultimate blessing. I also enjoyed just getting home and just laying in bed once the festivities were over. If you had a city hall wedding, share the best part of the experience. (Photos by Erneil Johnny )

I own a 2014 Chevy sedan and that means technology is lacking severely. I had to purchase a wireless FM transmitter and car charger to get us into modern times. Prior to the purchase, we listened to the radio for a few days, but after I bought the transmitter the girls wanted me to play DJ while driving. I wanted no part of that, nor did I want to listen to the argument that would eventually erupt about music choices if I handed them the phone in the back seat. I came to the conclusion that we will be listening to the radio in my car. We fell in love with one station, and the girls loved most of the music they play. I am talking about the music of my childhood from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s and almost every genre. Some of their favorites songs come from Spandau Ballet ( True ), Bon Jovi ( You Give Love a Bad Name), Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes ( I’ve Had the Time of my Life) , Prince ( Kiss ), Britney Spears ( Baby One More Time ) among many others. They’ve also told me to bring the volume down a couple of times in utter disgust with some songs, but seeing them appreciate the music I grew up on reinforced my belief that children should listen to as many different genres of music as possible. Dad’s favorite genre is country music, reggae, calypso and great ballads, while I am a full fledged R&B head of the 90s and early 2000s along with hip hop of that era, soca, bluegrass, house music, classical music, old school dancehall and some rock music. They hear it all. My girls are currently obsessed with Daniel Jang , especially since my older daughter is going to play the violin in the next school year. He serves as background music for us during dinner. In a time where streaming services allow children to gravitate towards familiar sounds and playlists, it can inadvertently create musical echo chambers. The humble radio, on the other hand, too often overlooked in the digital era, presents a unique opportunity for children to expand their musical horizons. Here’s why children should embrace the radio to enhance their knowledge and appreciation of diverse music. Exposure to a Variety of Genres Streaming services algorithms recommend music based on previous listens, which often leads children to stick to the same genres and artists. The radio, however, offers a curated experience by DJs who play a mix of music from different genres, eras, and cultures. This diversity can introduce children to new sounds and styles they might not encounter otherwise. This exposure broadens their musical palette and helps them appreciate the vast landscape of music. Educational Content and Insights Many radio stations, especially public and educational ones, provide context and commentary about the music they play. DJs and hosts often share interesting anecdotes, historical contexts, and behind-the-scenes stories about artists and songs. This information enriches the listening experience and transforms passive listening into an engaging educational activity. Encourages Active Listening Streaming services often promote passive listening, where music serves as background noise while doing other activities. Radio, however, encourages active listening, as children tune in to hear what's next. This anticipation can enhance their listening skills and attention spans. Active listening helps children develop critical thinking skills. It also cultivates patience and curiosity. Community Connection Radio stations often serve as a voice for local communities, highlighting regional artists, events, and news. Listening to local radio can help children feel more connected to their surroundings and develop a sense of community pride. They might learn about upcoming concerts or cultural festivals, fostering a greater desire to engage with their community. Cultivating a Balanced Media Diet Just as a balanced diet is essential for physical health, a balanced media diet is crucial for intellectual and cultural development. Streaming services limit exposure to new and diverse content, therefore, integrating radio into children’s media consumption habits provides a counterbalance to the algorithm-driven selections of streaming platforms. This helps cultivate well-rounded individuals with diverse tastes and knowledge. Reducing Screen Time Children are increasingly glued to screens, so listening to the radio allows them to engage with audio content without the need for visual stimulation. This promotes better mental and physical health. Reducing screen time can improve sleep and enhance focus. While streaming services offer convenience and customization, they can also limit children’s exposure to new and diverse sounds. Therefore, encouraging children to listen to the radio can broaden their musical horizons, enrich their knowledge, and foster a deeper appreciation for the art form. By integrating radio into their media diet, we can help them become well-rounded individuals with a rich and diverse understanding of music. So, next time you’re looking for something to listen to, consider tuning in to the radio. (Photos by Skynesher /iStock)

Hi! How is your week going? We are nearing the fall season and school has started for many kids. How are you dealing with the little and not so little ones returning to school? I won't apologize because I could not wait for the year to start. The summer was good, but I am happy to be back at what feels like my normal life. I also do quite enjoy having a paycheck, so being back at work as a substitute teacher has been great so far. At times, I think about my human resources salary, but do not miss the stressful environment, so I am staying in a place of gratitude. I am also so grateful for all the people who work at my children's school from the teachers, administrative/clerical employees, the janitor, the lunch aides, the subs and every other individual in between. With all the preparation for school, I managed two posts this week, Shut the World Out: How to Handle Your Child's Public Tantrum or Meltdown and Best Bread Recipe . As we wrap up this week, I just wanted to take a moment to wish you a fantastic weekend. It’s been a pleasure sharing these amazing parenting tips that I know have been helpful to me and could also help you, and a recipe for bread that you will never regret making. I hope you find them both engaging and valuable. It's supposed to be a rainy weekend here in the Capital District, but as a parent, I will be schlepping my daughter to soccer and enjoy a possible rainstorm. It will be a great time to step away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. So whether you’re planning to relax at home, catch up with friends, or explore new adventures, I hope you make the most of it. Sometimes, a little break is all we need to recharge and come back with fresh perspectives. Remember to take some time for yourself, and don’t forget to enjoy the little moments that make life special. Whether it’s savoring a good book, indulging in a favorite hobby, or simply unwinding, make sure to prioritize what brings you joy. Have a great weekend!

If you asked my young self where I thought I would be at this point in my life, it most definitely wouldn't be where I am now. This isn't to say that I am not proud of my accomplishments in my little over forty years on this planet. It is moreso to highlight that progress has not had the steady pace I anticipated, and I know that there are many others who understand this journey. My young and inexperienced mind could not envision the many hurdles that I would have had to overcome to get to this point in my life. I never imagined the United States of America would become my home when I moved here in my late teens. I didn't know I would later thwart a proposal from my first love to follow him to Europe. I didn't envision working as a full-time nanny who paid for school out of pocket as an international student, but still managed who graduate with honors. I didn't anticipate that I would make a move into corporate America and encounter my first dose of employment discrimination during my first pregnancy from a grandmother who gladly expressed having a grandchild on the way. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much having chronic illnesses would severely impact my ability to function daily. I think this last one hurt the most. There was so much that I was unprepared for navigating this life. All these detours, delays, and disappointments I encountered came with so many unexpected lessons. Some of them I wasn't ready to accept, and others that allowed me to appreciate the road not taken. Reflecting on where I thought I’d be versus where I am has illuminated not only my struggles but also the resilience and adaptability I’ve developed along the way. Facing the Disappointment of Unmet Goals . Not meeting some personal expectations can at times bring a unique kind of disappointment. Mine wasn't always rooted in self-comparison to peers who may have achieved certain milestones, but to the younger version of myself who believed certain goals were “givens.” As time went on from my late teens into my late twenties, the gap between my imagined life and my reality felt like a chasm—where I was still holding onto aspirations, but feeling like they were out of reach no matter how much I tried. The even more challenging aspect of this gap is that it tends to coincide with the period where we're told where we should be —typically somewhere around that thirty-year mark. What is it about thirty? Is it because we're about halfway into our life expectancy of about sixty to seventy years old? I guess that may be it, but that can feel like immense pressure for so many. As much as I admire those who figure it out and accomplish their goals early, I wish I had given myself a little more grace around this time. Even for those who seem to have it all together, growth isn't linear and some of their goals may take a while to get to. I remember an episode on Issa Rae's Insecure where Molly, a successful lawyer working toward partnership, was having a conversation with her therapist. She talked about the difficulties she was having navigating the "all-boys club" at work, and stated that if she works harder "everything should be fine." The therapist pauses the conversation and this exchange ensues. Therapist: You say that a lot. “Should.” You frame a lot of things in your life with “should.” Have you noticed that? Molly: *dismissively* No. Therapist: Two weeks ago you said “things should be easier for me as a successful black woman.” And another time you said “things should’ve fallen into place by now.” Is there a certain way you think your life should go? Molly: I mean, I do have specific life goals. And I think that, if you work hard it sho…..ought to yield certain results. Therapist: There’s a medical term called “magical thinking.” When we believe what we want can influence the external world as opposed to accepting things how they are. Molly fell into the trap that so many of us succumb to. It is that space where being “ settled ” or “ established ” is marked out as accomplished. But it is this sort of "magical thinking" that can bring a sense of angst and frustration, heavily impacting our mental health. We feel inadequate and not up to those imaginary standards that we and possibly others have set for us. This can be a natural point for self-reflection. Questions arise: Why do I want this? Is this goal for me or to influence how others perceive me? What are the goals I have achieved? Our aspirations are shaped by limited experience, idealized narratives, and the influence of cultural expectations. In these moments, recognizing the arbitrary nature of these timelines can help lessen feelings of failure or inadequacy. Also appreciate the goals that have been met, while still being able to carve out a path to achieve unmet goals without engaging in an internal boxing match. Reassessing Success and Progress . One of the most empowering things I did was redefine what success looked like. By the fourth decade, most of us have the life experience to understand that success isn’t just about the tangible markers—the job, house, car, partner, and the two-point-five babies. Real success might be found in other, more personal areas of our lives: healthy relationships with family and friends, good physical health, a non-toxic work environment, and a strong sense of self-worth and identity among other things. It is usually these things that are the most meaningful and reshape how we think of success. For instance, a stable career in an industry that brings genuine fulfillment may not be as glamorous as we once imagined, but it provides purpose and has immense value. For different people, there are different needs. As someone with multiple chronic illnesses, flexibility is the name of the game , so I chose to become a substitute teacher temporarily while I also pursue other ventures. This choice put me in a setting where I do not feel the least bit stressed out, while I utilize all the skills from my untraditional path. I am also extremely grateful to be able to do something as simple as picking up my children from school . I'm able to show up as a better version of myself. In addition to redefining success, it was crucial to redefine progress. The human experience is one of ebb and flow. We all face setbacks and many persevere, with grit that traditional standards cannot measure. Relationships may not have panned out as we expected, but perhaps this has provided a deeper understanding of ourselves and what we need and deserve in relationships moving forward. That job did not work out, but maybe it helped give you a sense of direction to where you really want to be. Those small steps and missteps are signs of progress. Sometimes, an unconventional path fosters deeper connections with others facing similar struggles. Reassessing our accomplishments can offer new insights, bringing a sense of satisfaction in areas that may have been overlooked. Embracing Life’s Detours and Lessons Learned Along the Way . It’s tempting to focus on what’s missing when life veers from our expectations. Yet, many find that life’s unexpected turns come with their own rewards. Experiences we don’t plan for—like travel, moving to a new city, learning a skill, or discovering a passion—enrich our lives in ways that structured goals cannot. As someone who has lived a life with some major detours, I've learned to appreciate every single one. There were times when I thought a detour caused me to regress, but I don't ever remember regretting my choices. My choice may have led to new relationships, opened doors to creative pursuits, and even brought about profound internal transformations. Detours are often accompanied by personal growth that can’t be easily quantified. Each twist and turn, though perhaps not “planned,” adds complexity to our stories, making it richer and more unique. By the time you reach your forties like me, we likely carry a wealth of experiences that the younger version of ourselves could never have anticipated. These experiences—whether positive or challenging—form the basis of our wisdom, resilience, and adaptability. As we embrace these experiences as part of the journey, we can cultivate gratitude for the unexpected gifts that detours bring. It is with time that the benefit of these lessons emerge. For example, we may realize that personal growth often comes not from success, but from the courage to confront failure, start over, or reimagine what we want for our lives. Even if the path to where I am wasn’t what I had in mind, the skills and insights I gained along the way are invaluable moving forward. No one is behind. It is just taking some a little more time to get where they need to be. Finding New Goals and Setting Meaningful Milestones . I believe that no one is behind and timelines are merely a suggestion. The realization that I may not be where I expected to be was both sobering and freeing. I may not have checked every box on my original life plan, but that moment provided an opportunity for me to set fresh goals that are more aligned with my values and experiences today. In my forties, it’s often less about reaching arbitrary milestones and more about setting goals that truly matter to me. This means pursuing a new passion, deepening relationships, and prioritizing my well-being over external validation. I am no longer chasing a predetermined blueprint. I am now focused on crafting a life that feels fulfilling in the present, rather than just one that looks good on paper. One of the most liberating lessons I've learned is that goals can evolve. What once seemed essential at one point no longer resonates, and that’s okay. By letting go of rigid expectations, we make space for new aspirations—ones shaped by our lived experiences rather than youthful assumptions. At this stage, success might mean choosing joy over obligation and embracing authenticity over approval. I love finding fulfillment in the small, everyday moments that make life meaningful. The path may not have unfolded as I planned, but that doesn’t mean it lacks purpose or value. Sometimes, the unexpected turns lead us to exactly where we need to be. (Feature photo Peter Lloyd/Unsplash and woman in yoga pose by Amauri Mejia/Unsplash)