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About three years ago, I made the decision to move from NYC to Upstate NY. I lived in Brooklyn, surrounded by biological family, some of whom I grew up with in my home country. Their physical presence did not translate into an emotional connection. It remained that way, even into the birth of my first and second child. There was minimal contact. A rare visit after the birth of one of my daughters, one planned play date, and the rest were non-existent. The suburbs had been calling my name for a while. My well being was on the decline as I was developing severe anxiety in the city. I was an overwhelmed mom of two children who just wanted a fresh start and quicker access to nature, much like the surroundings of my childhood on a beautiful Caribbean island. There was nothing was tying me here, so I high tailed it out of there. Recently, I came across a video by therapist and Youth Practitioner Dorcas Opoku talking about low-effort families. I connected immediately and recognized this is what I had been experiencing all those years—I just did not have a word for it. I dug a little deeper and discovered that the term low-effort family was popularized by psychologist Dr. Sherrie Campbell. It is a dysfunctional family system where members make minimal emotional investment by offering the bare minimum in support, interest, and connection. They act out of convenience rather than genuine care. Unfortunately, with that dynamic comes immense disappointment. At some point, you eventually learn to reciprocate the energy you receive. Simply put, it feels like a form of passive-aggressive rejection and the only way to deal with that is to widen and deepen the ocean. With that said, I got to thinking, what does parenting look like for someone who comes from a low effort family? You grieve. Then you accept. The first step with a low-effort family, is to match their energy. There is no way a round it. By doing so, I was able to create distance without an explanation, especially since I tried to create connection. Most of the time, this will naturally occur, because low-effort families may not even notice or care that you no longer communicate with. My efforts came in the form of creating a family group chat and trying to organize a family trip. The chat was quickly ruined and no one bit into my idea, so it was dead on arrival. At some point, you have to be honest with yourself about the lack of reciprocation, because this wasn’t it. The inevitable choice is separation. This is when grief starts, an inevitable part of the whole process. There will be moments when you look at other families—ones that show up, call often, gather easily—and it stings. Not because you don’t understand your reality, but because you do. You work through these feelings and eventually get to a place of acceptance. You make space for the love they refuse to give and allow yourself to be nurtured by people who will show up in a more healthy dynamic. There will no forced peace, no pretending it doesn’t hurt, but rather you choosing not to chase what isn’t choosing you. You parent without the village We were never designed to parent alone as a society. This is the part no one romanticizes. Parenting without a built-in support is a heavy responsibility, one I would wish for no anyone. It challenges you mentally, emotionally and physically when there’s no rotating help and no automatic community to lean on. But there is also clarity. You just show up everyday, because your children are watching how you move in relationships. They are learning what love looks like, not just in what you say, but in what you tolerate. I am having an honest revelation about the way I am. Part of the reason why I have gotten so strong about keeping people out who do not want to actively participate in my life, is because I saw my mother tolerate a lot in the name of maintaining ties with biological family. Experiencing changed me, and I promised myself that I would never allow my children to endure that unnecessary hurt. Staying in low-effort relationships teaches them that love can be inconsistent. Choosing distance, on the other hand, teaches them that love should feel like presence. Like effort. Like care. You become intentional about who gets access Naturally as a parent, you are the center of your children’s life. As a parent who has lost community with your low-effort family, you are pretty much all they have. This may feel daunting, but it is also a space that allows you to choose who becomes part of your children’s lives. I have to admit, I momentarily experience sadness sometimes when I think about the fact that my children do not know their cousins, aunts and other family members are, and do not have the network that I once had. But then you think about the fact that you get to determine who has access to them. As chief of this small village, you get to choose your child(ren)’s village. What you are building is rooted in consistency, safety and love that shows up. This reduces the kind of disappointment that you encountered and serves as fuel for you to parent from a place of actively prioritizing your child(ren)’s emotional needs. You define what family is There is a point where family stops being about who is related to you and more about who shows up. In our home, things are simple. Birthdays don’t come with a house full of relatives. There aren’t calls, cards, or surprise gifts from extended family, but there is love. Because of this, I have placed emphasis on building our own family traditions that belong to our little unit—quiet, intentional, and full. I bake their cakes every year. We have a family dinner with the honoree’s favorite dishes. We respect requests for quiet birthdays and ones celebrated with friends who have become like family. We celebrate in ways that feel meaningful to us. And over time, you realize something. Your children don’t feel like they’re missing anything…because they’re not. You nurture sibling bond One of the most intentional choices I make is helping my children build a strong relationship with each other. I model empathy and fairness and guide them through conflict with the goal of preserving and not damaging their connection. The same care I pour into them individually is the care I encourage them to give one another. You avoid comparison, celebrate individuality and build traditions that strengthen their bond. You praise and encourage their efforts to show each other acts of kindness, both big and small. You reinforce this behavior, because it is those moments that shape how they will love others for the rest of their lives. They won’t exist like passing ships in the night, but develop enough emotional intelligence to be intentional in their relationships starting from their immediate family. Watching their relationship grow is one of the most healing things I’ve experienced. I am encouraged to continue on this path. If not for me, then for them. How do you navigate coming from a low effort family?

Where do you park your feelings of knowing that your society is failing you in more ways than you can count? Before I start to write, I rub my temples, because I do not even know where to start with where we are. Everyday, I try not to sink into the abyss of frustration, and I take comfort in knowing I am not the only one. Some of us are hanging on by a thread to maintain the lives we live and our sanity. I’m a millennial and I think our survival skills are unmatched. Being born in the 80s is unrivaled. Have you seen 80s fashion? It should never be repeated, yet we survived that. We were the generation who was told “If you get a great education, the world is your oyster,” yet here we are crying as we look at our bank accounts and the degradation of our society as a whole. We did not think that some of us would be hell-bent on destroying the rest of us. We survived childhoods of being outside without our parents not knowing exactly where we were. There was only one requirement which was don’t let the street lights catch you outside. The fact that many more of us did not go missing is shocking. My family did not own a family computer until high school—I can still hear the dial-up internet sound to this day. We survived the wild, wild, west of My Space, the early stages of social media. MapQuest was a lifesaver when it came along with directions you could print. Lose them and you were on your own. We survived flip phones—flip phones. I say no more. We are the generation who were forced to tough it out, because mommy was not making our play dates. We either made it out semi-okay or we didn’t. It was sink or swim. Thank goodness we are all adults now who realized some of this crap was just trauma masked as tough love. We had no idea we would survive two economic recessions and a potential coup in the United States of America. With everything happening around us, some days I can’t tell if the warmth in my body is perimenopause, a fibromyalgia flare, or the reaction to me just thinking about the insane cost of trying to live on this hunk of rock floating in space while providing for two children. Are we all jaded at this point or what? *** It was Monday. I was walking through my apartment feeling really content about finishing up more of the decals in my girls’ room. Two days was not enough time to clean, organize, make time to spend with my family and work on my small project, but one of my kids happened to be sick that day, so I got an additional day to finish up. I walked into the girls’ bedroom and admired my handiwork and a thought disrupted my movement. “Mom, I can’t wait for us to have a house.” These were the words of my older daughter echoing in my head. Occasionally, she reminds me that we need to buy a house. That thought was followed by: “Will we ever be able to buy a house?” Then came the: “Renters are worse off if it all goes to shit. Homeowners will have it bad if they lose their jobs. They can lose their homes, but renters will have it so bad.” I paused and forced my mind to go dark. Not a single thought. I was overwhelming myself and felt I may have been wallowing in a bit of self-pity. But was it self-pity or an acknowledgment of our current reality? All I wanted to do was enjoy what I had done, but living in early-stage American fascism and the awareness that it is happening sometimes strips me of my joy. I am trying to not allow myself to wallow in it, but when you get body slammed daily by the news of what is happening in my country and around the world, it is hard not to. At the same time, I am giving myself the opportunity to feel and process what is happening. It is a lot and it weighs heavy for so many of us who did not ask for this and who do not know where to park these feelings. Sometimes, I wish I could be as oblivious as possible; be one of those people who could go about their daily lives like everything normal, even if the whole earth was on fire. But I can’t. I suffer from something called Empathy and as painfully exhausting as it can be at times, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. It reminds me of my humanity and the expectations. *** Two years ago, I was making a move from NYC to Upstate NY, because I just couldn’t deal with the hustle and bustle of the city anymore. I never connected to the idea of this fast-paced life that so many people seem to gravitate to and thrive in. I am an island girl through and through. I connect to a slower pace of life where liming is a part of the culture. I had been yearning to leave the city for about a decade, but went along with what my partner wanted. I finally decided it was time to move, with or without him. So I walked into a car dealership in Brooklyn to get a car—a necessity for life in Upstate New York. With an over 800 credit score, only school debt which wasn’t in default, a job that paid well, and a credit utilization of 11%. I thought that would be ideal, and I would be able to finance a car. I was so wrong. The representative looked me square in my eyes after running my credit score without my authorization and said that I did not have the right kind of debt. I briefly listened to her explanation to keep myself from laughing in her face. After listening to her, I said “Thank you” and walked out. The explanation repeated itself at a few more car dealerships. After being exhausted by the search, I finally decided to purchase an eight-year-old car in cash. I was content with my purchase, but felt like I was pushed to the margins for not having “the right kind of debt” such as a previous car or being a home owner. I felt penalized for not having it all together. I was punished for not having a car, but the structure made it impossible for me to get financing to purchase a car. It makes car dealerships who declare “Bad credit, no problem,” with offers of bad credit financing options sound extremely predatory—which they usually are. We also know that transit desserts are necessary for auto makers and oil companies to thrive. It’s a vicious cycle, so we pick our poison. Big city with high costs of living, public transportation and high stress, or a small town with a transit desert, lower cost of living and lower stress? It all matters what you’re willing to trade. *** What remains far too often is we blame ourselves for our failings, because we are forced to live in a system that conditions us to only look inward for all the problems and failings in our lives. It was betting on the idea that we would not wake up and realize that it may not be depression if your life is depressing and it’s not anxiety if your life is stressful. There is a reason why self-help literature thrives and everyone and their mama is trying to sell you a course on what you are doing wrong that is causing you to fail. They need you in a state of perpetually seeking and never satisfied, so blaming you is easier than changing the structures of our society. This is the upside down system that we live in. The one that strips us of ancestral, holistic and ingenious practices, and turns around to rebrand it as commodified self-care and leisure. The one that believes money makes the world go round, rather than people and communities. It is the one that touts God, country and family during election cycles, but have no backbone to fight for what is right or just. I hope when we are done pathologizing our collective experiences we can see that the problem is more external than we would like to think.

Hi everyone, Another Week, Another Crisis: The State of America and Me. If you’re feeling anything like I am, I know you’re experiencing an inexplicable, deep-seated level of fatigue. This is induced by a political climate that is hell-bent on destroying all of us; the worst part is that we just made it through week two. Every day, we’re being body slammed into another political firestorm that none of us asked for, and even though we keep trying to tap out, someone grabs us by the leg and pulls us back in. We’re in a knockdown drag-out fight for our lives, so the fatigue is real, and so many of us are already over it. Unsplash Despite the constant turmoil, communities across the country continue to fight back against those seeking to take away our human rights. Whether through protests, mutual aid networks, or pushing for legislative change, people are resisting the normalization of corruption and incompetence. I am proud of us for building resistance, but resistance can be exhausting. This is where self-care is a requirement. Self-Care in the Time of Chaos Last week, I had to call a time-out. I decided to delete every social media app from my phone except for Substack. I was experiencing notification anxiety along with a general weariness that left my spirit depleted. I couldn’t internalize any more disappointment and heartbreak with what had been happening, so I decided to detach from everything for 24 hours. In times like this, self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity. Here are a few tips to help and encourage you to take care of yourself: Set Boundaries with News Consumption: Stay informed, but take breaks from the 24-hour news cycle to protect your mental well-being. Find Community Support: Engaging with like-minded individuals can provide emotional strength and strategic resilience. Prioritize Mental and Physical Health: Engage in activities that bring joy, whether it’s meditation, exercise, or creative expression. Use Your Voice Wisely: Speak up when and where you can, but recognize that self-preservation is also an act of resistance. Celebrate Small Wins: Change happens incrementally. Recognizing victories—no matter how small—keeps morale high and momentum going. Can you love your body — and still want to change it? Gabriella Lascano/Ted I had the pleasure of watching Gabriella Lascano a strong advocate of body positivity present her TedTalk on the subject of Can you love your body — and still want to change it? In the most vulnerable and authentic way, she talks about the disenfranchisement of fat people, but also toxic body positivity that restricts many like herself. After the loss of a friend due to obesity, she realized that loving herself required honesty, accountability, and making healthier lifestyle choices. It was a refreshing perspective. Ageism Hurts All of Us Character Liza Miller of the show Younger Before binge-watching “Younger” I have been thinking a lot about ageism. As a woman in my early 40s, I think about how much we can all accomplish in a society that doesn’t restrict us based on our age. Ageism harms all of us in ways that reinforce discrimination and impact mental well-being. As someone who has interacted with children since I was 19, you will be surprised to find out that behaviors that lead to ageism start from a very young age. Have you ever spoken to a child or teenager who responds to you in a sometimes sarcastic, know-it-all way, especially regarding technology? This stereotyping in many settings is harmful to everyone. People report ageism starting as early as 35, but generally around 40. It usually worsens as you age, especially in societies that overvalue youth. In many ways, I am grateful for the efforts of diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives that strive to protect older populations. I also strongly encourage that we all examine our biases and change how we view the aging population. We will all get there eventually. Libraries Will Never go Out of Style At our local library enjoying a game of checkers, books and friends I have been taking my girls to the library since they were babies. It is a great resource for learning and fun. The first place I looked for after moving was our local library. We make it there at least once a week to enjoy all the perks of being library card holders—reading clubs, free museum passes, holiday events, science classes and so much more. I am always amazed by why more kids aren’t at the library, because it is truly a place of joy. There are not very many public spaces that are truly free in American society. Most places are “pay to participate” making libraries one of the last places in modern society that is free for everyone. It plays a significant role in breaking down barriers of race, socioeconomic status, religion, and political beliefs. It is the one place that truly brings us all together. Are you taking your little ones and older ones to the library this week? A Little Laughter Last month, I shared a little chat between my daughter and I that seemed to garner a bit of interest, but I thought it could apply to life in general. Even as adults, we forget the impact that our voice has on creating change. Threads post from Aubre in Between Until next time, take care of yourself and laugh a little. (Photos: Fairy Lake Bonsai Tree/Bluesky251/Flickr, Gabriela Lascano/Ted, Younger/Stan)

Hi! How is your week going? The weather has been amazing lately in the Capital Region, and I am happy to enjoy a little heat even though being hot isn’t my happy place. I’m grateful for rising serotonin levels and all that free vitamin D. This week has been great with the girls. As always, we enjoyed good food, being outdoors, beautiful art, and wonderful sister moments. We are in peak tulip season in my neck of the woods, so I enjoy watching them bloom. Fibromyalgia and Mental Health Awareness Month We are in the month that recognizes two causes near and dear to me. As someone who lives with fibromyalgia, I talk about the many ways that fibromyalgia affects my life and my mental health. Catch up on these stories on the blog that address these two important topics and the areas of life they affect. Career: How Substitute Teaching Became a Gift at a Difficult Time Parenting: 3 Most Valuable Lessons My Children and I Have Learned from My Chronic Illness and Parenting through Pain: Navigating Motherhood with Chronic Illness and Love Relationships: Chronic Illnesses: When Sticking to a Routine Gets Hard and Tolerable Unhappiness and Female Desire and Lina of “Three Women” Life: 5 Ways to Have More Mindful Interactions With People Who Have a Chronic Illness I really hope these stories serve as a great resource for you. Be sure to leave your thoughts and words of encouragement. Celebrating Motherhood Mother’s Day is coming up soon and what better time to revise an old post Motherhood as Ministry: A Sacred Calling. I show appreciation to the ones who have chosen to be childless, a decision that shows the highest form of self-awareness. As a mother, I wholeheartedly support any woman who decides to blaze her path without the added pressures of motherhood. Motherhood has such a major impact on all facets of life that it would be irresponsible to not consider the ramifications of such a life-altering decision. “Whether you view motherhood as birthright, obligation or choice, in its most authentic form, motherhood is ministry.” Here are some of the ways that motherhood is ministry: Nurturing Hearts and Minds. As mothers, we tend to the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of our children. We become their teacher and their source of love and guidance. The simple act of listening and comforting our children is ministry to their hearts and minds. It shapes them into compassionate, resilient, and thoughtful individuals. We may not always get it right, but focusing on doing better with every new day is how we can fulfill this role. Cultivating Values and Virtues. Mothers play a crucial role in instilling values such as honesty, kindness and empathy in their children. As we interact daily with our children, we model these virtues, guiding them to understand the importance of integrity, compassion, and respect for others. As we heal and protect our inner child, we will keep passing on these lessons learned. Creating a Safe Haven. In a world filled with challenges and uncertainties, our love and support offer a sense of security and belonging. A mom’s goal is to create a haven for her children. Moms also need support from their tribe and nothing feels better than when needs are communicated and everyone is up to speed. In the meantime, whether it's through a warm embrace, a listening ear, or a comforting presence, moms will continue to provide refuge, solace and strength. Embracing the Sacredness of Everyday Moments. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to overlook the sacredness of ordinary moments. Yet, in the eyes of a mother, even the most mundane tasks become sacred acts of love and service. Whether it's preparing a meal, tucking her children into bed, or sharing a laugh together, a mother recognizes the divine beauty in these simple gestures, knowing that they are building bonds that will last a lifetime. Growing Together in Faith. A mother guides her children on a journey of faith. Whether it's through bedtime prayers, family rituals, or conversations about life's big questions, a mother helps her children cultivate a sense of wonder and reverence for the world around them. Together, they explore the mysteries of life and deepen their understanding of their place in the universe. Money Saving Tips at Your Local Library If you’re not already on Threads, join the conversations happening. I am learning so much in this space. I came across a post from Two Sides of a Dime, about how you can maximize the use of your library card for significant savings of a little over $10,000 yearly. I love my local library and I already used it in so many ways including trips to the museum, but here are some other suggestions by Eduek. Audiobooks Museums Movies and music Coworking space Event space LinkedIn Learning Markerspace Toys and gaming consoles Videogames Gadgets and gear I would encourage getting in the comments, because people added more ways that Eduek did not mention. Let’s all save money together. Summer Camps Savings. I did one thing this week that is going to save my family almost $8000 in summer camp costs for my two girls. This isn’t a tip for everyone, but it can be greatly useful to a stay-at-home parent, or a parent with summer breaks who has the time and means to make use of this opportunity. It is called a work trade. Typically, a work trade is where volunteers offer their time and skills to work in exchange for free accommodation. In this situation, a work trade allows a parent to volunteer their skills and services to a summer program their child(ren) can attend for free. I initially sent an email briefly explaining my circumstances and requested a scholarship or a trade of my skills with an attached resume. As I mentioned, this isn’t for everyone, but a very useful and helpful option for those who can. With that said, have a fantastic weekend everyone. Take care of yourselves and each other.

What have you been up to so far this weekend? This weekend marks the last weekend before I end my first year internship as a masters level student in social work. Woohoo! I made through the first, yet challenging year of being a practicing social worker. I am so amazed that I am still here standing. Carrying the load of mother, student, and many other titles has left me sometimes very depleted. What I can say is, I am happy to end this chapter and focus on some things that I have been neglecting, like rest. The best part is as one door closes, another opens. I was offered a clinical position at the outpatient side of the same organization, which makes it all so amazing. As I gear up to say “See you later,” to all the clients and colleagues I have built relationships with, I can take comfort in knowing that this is not truly the end. Today, I happened to go in to a Planet Fitness for a quick workout, for the first of what I hope will become many. I got a great instructor who was really kind to show me the ropes and how to achieve the best results. My adventures on Threads are becoming a nice addition to my life with the most random posts that get people’s attention. The latest starts like this. “My elementary school aged kids have told me that some of their classmates got bed at 11:30pm and later.” All I can say is, read some of these comments. I’ve been slowly reading The Parable of the Sower and goodness me. I just have no words for it. Just borrow from your local library or use their app Libby for easier access. If you haven’t started watching Testament, please start now. I am into dystopian content of any form, so this occupies my reading and viewing content. Enjoy what you have left of the weekend.

What are you up to this weekend? I know I’m a bit behind schedule, but Eid Mubarak to all my brothers and sisters who celebrated yesterday! It was also the first day of spring, so I hope you have something fun planned. After taking care of my girls, who were both diagnosed with influenza B, I found out yesterday that I have it too. Let’s just say, it’s been rough, and I’m on the mend. But in true Renata fashion, I managed to squeeze in a little adventure before my urgent care visit. I drove up to Wilton, NY, to pick up a beautiful ladder bookshelf from Facebook Marketplace. It was totally worth the trip—just look at this beauty! Since I can’t do much this weekend, let’s recap some of the fun things I did over the week. Art Workshop Adventures I facilitated an art workshop at my internship. I was thrown into the deep end, but we made it work! My co-facilitator whipped up some tanghulu desserts for our members, along with other amazing snacks. It was a blast! Thrifting Treasures I went thrifting at my favorite shop, Captain’s Treasures . I stumbled upon a box of vintage National Geographic magazines. They were a childhood favorite of mine, and I couldn’t resist! Nature Calls I got a quick glimpse of the mountains near the King Phillips Campground in Lake George. I suddenly felt the urge to go for a hike. Nature always has a way of calling to me, doesn’t it? Baking Bliss Yesterday, when I still felt a bit well, I made a yummy batch of Trader Joe’s Blueberry Muffins Mix . They turned out delicious, and the smell filled the house with warmth and comfort. Crafting Comfort I’ve also made some major progress on my queen-sized chenille blanket. It’s already a big hit with the girls! Once I’m done with this one, it’ll be theirs. Crafting is such a therapeutic way to spend time, especially when you’re feeling under the weather. Embracing the Mundane As I reflect on my week, I realize how important it is to find joy in the little things. Whether it’s a spontaneous trip to pick up a bookshelf or baking muffins, these moments add up. They remind me to appreciate the everyday experiences that make life beautiful. So, I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, embracing whatever brings you joy. Remember, it’s the small things that often make the biggest impact. (Ernest Porzi/Unsplash)

For about two months, it seems like everyone around me, whether at work or home ahas been sick. First it was Strep and the girls are now recovering from influenza B. While at the urgent care with my younger daughter the doctor recommended Robitussin, but then said, “They’ve found that straight honey works just the same.” Of course it does. It’s a staple for most home remedies for colds. As much as we all enjoyed the spoonful of honey, we all still have a lingering cough. It’s obvious that honey alone isn’t working, so now I feel it’s time to bring out the strong stuff. So rather than talking in cough English (like my daughter calls it when we all cough at the same time), I will be making a large portion of the lemon, ginger, turmeric and honey tea of my childhood. The potion that coughs hate to see coming is here and I am happily sipping. I’m so ready to get back to my regular self. What are your home remedies for a cold or the flu?

I want to reshare a post that remains relevant, especially during this time of year. May you always remember the meaning of this season. The holidays are fast approaching, and the season of giving is in full swing. Nothing evokes winter quite like the crisp chill in the air, cozy nights filled with classic Thanksgiving and Christmas movies, and the endless baking adventures happening in my kitchen. Add in a steaming mug of peppermint hot cocoa, and I’m in my happy place. The pinnacle of it all is when we begin decorating for Christmas —not long after Halloween, though the tree doesn’t go up until after Thanksgiving. I look forward to the celebrations that capture the essence of the season in small and meaningful ways. All these traditions bring a sense of warmth and belonging. There’s truly nothing like the joy of the holidays, but it makes me wonder: how can we extend these sentiments throughout the year? The Shift in Holiday Spirit Although this season is traditionally celebrated as a time of selfless giving and compassion, the cultural tone has noticeably shifted over the years. What was once rooted in acts of kindness and communal spirit now often feels reduced to a transactional ritual. The deeper meaning of connection, generosity of heart, and community can easily get lost in the noise. While gift-giving tends to peak during this time, it’s worth pausing to reflect on why we give, not just during Christmas, but as an ongoing expression of care throughout the year. The Essence of Giving Giving is more than a physical exchange; it is a mental, emotional, social, and spiritual offering. Whether it’s a tangible item or something as simple as shared time and presence, the heart of giving lies in thoughtfulness, love, and intentional connection. This is what makes the act of giving so powerful and enduring. To truly embrace its spirit, here are three core aspects of authentic giving that empower us all—beyond the holidays and into everyday life: Give Selflessly, Without an Agenda All you have to do is go on an app to see people publicize acts of kindness. So many times, I question whether it is performative or truly from a place of genuine concern. We need to remember that true generosity comes from a place of sincerity, not self-interest. The focus shouldn't just be on the act itself, but on how it is received and the impact it has. When giving becomes about optics or personal gain, it loses its essence and becomes a mere transaction. Authentic giving builds bridges of compassion and connection within a community—it should never come with strings attached. Give Without Expecting Anything in Return Real giving isn't about reciprocity; it’s about responsibility—social, communal, and human. Those with more have the privilege to uplift those with less, whether or not the gesture is ever repaid. In some cultures, there isn’t even a word for “thank you” because generosity is so ingrained—it’s simply a way of life. Growing up in a culture where kindness, sharing, and bartering are part of daily existence, I’ve come to understand that giving is the foundation of community. It is not a favor, but a shared understanding of support. See Giving as Planting a Seed Every act of giving is a seed planted, one that may bloom into a connection, trust, or a deeper relationship. Whether you're offering your time, attention, or even a simple gift, you’re creating space for something meaningful to grow . Often, it’s not the object or gesture itself, but the intention behind it that resonates. Giving is a way of saying, I see you, you matter, and that kind of energy has the power to echo far beyond the moment. Cultivating a Mindset of Generosity By keeping these three elements in mind, the art of giving becomes easier. At various points in life, we are all both givers and receivers, making it essential to adopt principles that nurture a mindset of generosity as a shared social responsibility, not just a kind gesture. While this may sound idealistic, consistently practicing these values can offer deeper insight into the true purpose of giving. The Joy of Connection There is joy to be found in giving—not in the reward, but in the connection it creates and the humanity it honors. It’s about those little moments when you see someone’s face light up because of a simple act of kindness. It’s in the laughter shared over a cup of coffee with a friend who needed to talk. It’s in the warmth of a hug given freely, with no expectation of anything in return. Embracing the Spirit Year-Round So, as we dive deeper into this holiday season, let’s make a pact. Let’s carry the spirit of giving beyond December. Let’s find ways to sprinkle kindness throughout our days, whether it’s through a compliment, a helping hand, or simply being present for someone who needs it. Let’s romanticize the mundane by finding joy in the little things. Because, at the end of the day, it’s those small acts of kindness that weave the fabric of our communities together. And who knows? You might just inspire someone else to do the same. Let’s make every day a little brighter, not just during the holidays, but all year long. After all, the world could always use a bit more love and kindness.

What are you up to this weekend? We signed up for a community based art event that I am excited about. One kid is hesitant to attend, but unfortunately, there isn’t a choice, so we are all heading out. I will also be working on a crochet wearable. I hope you have a great time this weekend. With Threads becoming my best social media spot, I want to leave you with a few awesome things I saw there. I felt this in my heart and soul. To raise awareness. To educate. To inspire. Until next time.

What are you looking forward to wearing as the weather warms up? I’m loving a selection of denim that I snagged over the Christmas holidays. Levi’s has still got it, and have now become my go to brand for great fitting jeans. Here are three of my favorite pairs that I plan on wearing into the ground. Let’s start with the cinch barrel jeans . I love the highly debated barrel cut for its relaxed look and the snaps on the waistline creates a cinch for the curvy girls like me who want to avoid the gap in the back (if you know what I mean). I currently pair it with older Aura Chelsea pull-on boot from Pajar Canada , or my new balance sneakers for a more comfy feel. I feel like I have been transported to the 1970s in this cinched baggy denim that gives more of a straight leg, high waisted fit. I throw on a sleeveless crew neck shirt and it will be perfect for a day or night out. The ribcage bell western jean has become my absolute favorite. It feels so effortless and can be paired with just about anything to dress it up or down. Even without the cinch, it is a perfect fit. (Photos from Levi’s official site) What about you? What denim styles are you into right now? (The views expressed here are my own. I receive no compensation from this review.)