What Level of Adulting Have You Reached?

I will never get tired of the online responses to the question, “What level of adulting have you reached?” They’re funny, wildly accurate, and sometimes hit a little too close to home. Some days I genuinely feel like I’ve arrived at peak responsible human mode—bills paid, dinner cooked, emotional stability intact. On other days, I wonder how I managed to rub my two remaining brain cells together long enough to survive. And still, here I am: responsible for two little ones who think their mom is the biggest clown in the world—and love me even more for it.

There was a time I believed adulthood would simply happen, as if it were a magical level unlocked just by piling on the years. But with time (and a healthy dose of reality), I realized this is not how any of it works. A seventeen-year-and-364-day-old doesn’t transform into a full-blown adult the moment the clock strikes midnight on their eighteenth birthday. And yet, it’s surprising how often that exact expectation is projected onto young people. “You’re 18 now, you should know better.” Should they? Really?

Adulthood is not a line you cross. It’s an ongoing, full-time, no-days-off apprenticeship. It’s a skillset built by doing life, sometimes well, often messily. The learning doesn’t truly begin until you’re out in the world without the built-in safety net of school, family, and routines that guide you. And even then, it’s a lot of trial and error.

So where do you stand in the hierarchy of grown-up life? Let’s take a look at the unofficial (but emotionally accurate) stages of adulting.

Level 1: Barely Functioning, But Trying

This is where many of us start, and let’s be honest, sometimes return to. It’s the “Wait... I have to cook? Every. Day?” phase. You forget to defrost the chicken, cereal is dinner (again), and the thought of opening that mail pile by the door feels like a Herculean task. You’re holding on by the grace of your phone calendar and sheer willpower. Laundry only gets done when you’ve completely run out of socks, and budgeting? That’s just hoping your card doesn’t decline. Taxes and health insurance paperwork get stuffed in a drawer, only to be rediscovered in a future archaeological dig of your own home.

For those of us with kids:

This level hits differently. You spend 45 minutes making a healthy dinner just for your child to look at it like you’ve served them poison. You’re tired before you even open your eyes in the morning. Most days, you're just trying to keep the household running without completely unraveling. If Little Timmy has to make friends with the stuffed animals because Mom is on the brink—so be it.

Level 2: Basic Survival Mode

At this stage, you’ve figured out the bare bones of functioning. You pay your bills—maybe even on time! You’ve graduated from cereal for dinner to a rotation of three go-to meals. Cleaning happens inconsistently, but it happens. You buy toilet paper before you run out, and maybe—just maybe—you even separate your laundry sometimes. Burnout is a real part of this level. Adulting doesn’t pause just because you're exhausted. Some days, putting on pants and showing up is the win. And that deserves celebration.

Parents in this zone:

You are constantly on the verge of being overwhelmed. A quiet moment for yourself is like spotting a rare bird—fleeting and unbelievable. But no matter how depleted you feel, your kids still need water, snacks, and endless attention. You can't break down because someone always needs something from you. So you push forward, even if you’re running on fumes.

Level 3: Functional Adult With Glimpses of Maturity

This level feels like finding a rhythm, even if you're still missing the beat occasionally. You begin choosing to go to bed at a reasonable hour—not because someone told you to, but because you feel the difference the next morning. You know that hydration helps and keeps water within reach. There’s a loose budget in place, and while you may stray from it now and then, you understand the importance of keeping one. Meal planning, once an overwhelming task, now feels doable—even enjoyable on a good week. You know where important documents are (or at least where to start looking), and you’re no longer startled by adult things like tax forms and appointment reminders.

And when you’re a parent at this level:

You’ve figured out a few parenting tricks—like how to throw together a lunchbox in under five minutes or how to keep the kids entertained during errands. You may not have it all together, but you have a routine that mostly works, and you’ve learned to forgive yourself on the days it doesn’t. You recognize when you're nearing burnout and have started building little systems to keep it at bay—whether it’s a chore chart for the kids or a 10-minute breather while hiding in the bathroom.

Level 4: Full-Blown Responsible Human

This is the point where adulting begins to feel less like treading water and more like swimming laps—maybe not perfectly, but with some grace. You have a real savings account and you contribute to it. You floss regularly (even if only because you’re tired of the dentist guilt-tripping you). You know how to manage a schedule, negotiate bills, and make your own doctor appointments. Surprises like a flat tire or an unexpected bill are met with mild annoyance rather than a full mental breakdown. You’ve accepted that this is your life now—and you’re doing your best to make it a good one.

Parenting from this place: It is still hard—but it comes with a clearer sense of confidence. You plan meals that (sometimes) your kids actually eat. You’ve learned how to co-manage your own needs with those of your children, even if it's not perfectly balanced. The calendar is full of school events and sports practices, and somehow, you remember most of them. You’ve gotten good at multitasking, prioritizing, and adjusting when things don’t go according to plan—which, let’s be honest, is most of the time.

Level 5: Ultimate Adult Mastery (AKA Mythical Unicorn Status)

This level is rarely seen in the wild—and even when it is, those who’ve reached it tend to remind the rest of us that it’s not all that glamorous. You make dentist appointments before you need them. You know your credit score and understand your insurance policies. You file your taxes early, and you do it with a spreadsheet and color-coded folder system. Meal planning has become your domain of creative expression, and grocery shopping feels less like a chore and more like a curated experience. You’ve stopped reacting in crisis and started anticipating—handling life with a calm, strategic approach.

And as a parent in this magical land: You’ve reached the “systems” stage of parenting. You’ve probably got a command center in your kitchen, or at the very least a working routine for school drop-offs, meal prep, and weekend plans. You’ve figured out how to maintain boundaries, enforce screen time rules without constant power struggles, and carve out space for yourself without guilt. You parent with intention, not just a reaction, and your kids are learning from your example—even if they still leave their socks everywhere.

But Here’s the Secret…

Even if you hit Level 5, you’ll still have Level 1 days. You’ll forget to reply to emails. You’ll eat popcorn for dinner. You’ll avoid your to-do list and binge-watch a show while ignoring the growing pile of laundry. That’s life.

Adulting isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about showing up, day after day, in whatever way you can manage. You don’t have to reach Level 5 to be doing okay. You just have to keep going.

So… what level are you at today?

And more importantly—where would you like to be?

Let’s talk about it in the comments. No judgment here—just a bunch of us figuring it out, one level at a time. 😉

Photo by Anthony Fomin/Unsplash