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Moving from NYC to the Capital Region has given me access to the best of both worlds. I am close to everything I need to maintain our household and lifestyle and I also get to enjoy some of the most amazing state parks, nature trails and the rich history of New York State. Every day, I am amazed by the beauty of New York, and one of the places I will always be in awe of is Saratoga Spa State Park. My mom is visiting us, and on our radar was Saratoga Spa State Park . Nestled in upstate New York, Saratoga Springs is a gem that beautifully intertwines rich history with stunning natural beauty. The last time she was there with us, was a few days after an early spring snowfall. I was eager to show my mother the transformation from spring to summer so that she can truly appreciate what the girls and I have grown to love. A Bit of History The original Indigenous inhabitants of Saratoga Springs were Algonkian peoples known as Mohicans, speaking an Algonquian language. Their native neighbors included the … Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) to the west. Both the Algonkian and the Haudenosaunee considered the area surrounding Saratoga Springs sacred. Because of its mineral springs with healing waters, it was considered an area of peace to be shared by all. Stop 1: Polaris Spring Polaris Spring is the first spring we encountered in Saratoga Spa State Park. It is located right off of Geyser Loop Road. The carbonated rich iron flavor is an acquired taste, but it was worth trying. I contemplated taking some home, but a gentleman who seemed well acquainted with the springs said it doesn’t store well. My mom was happy to take a cup with her. Navigation Junkie/Polaris Spring Stop 2: Geyser Creek Everything about Geyser Creek is picturesque and calming. It takes me back to my childhood with days spent by the river having fun with family and friends. Looking at my daughters enjoying their time walking through the water and sitting on the rocks felt nostalgic. It is experiences like this that fuel a deep respect and appreciation for the earth. It was hard getting them out of there to visit some of the other springs. Stop 3: Karista Spring Approaching Karista Spring feels like a backdrop straight out of Lord of the Rings or Sweet Tooth . The towering trees that could tell stories if they spoke, invite you to a beautifully preserved spring, one of the very few that were left after the government took over what was once private land. We were amazed to find out that there were originally a little over 180 springs but only 21 were left after private industries were expelled from the land. A great fun fact. Stop 4: Hayes Well Spring Slightly off the intersection of Geyser Creek Trail and Geyser Loop Road, and before Geyser Brook Geyser is Hayes Well Spring. It contains two taps of spring water that drips into a small pool carved by the waters. It really is a beauty. Stop 5: Geyser Brook Geyser A spouter located near Hayes Well, Geyser Brook is truly a sight beyond words. Bedrock perched in upper levels of Geyser Creek allows for a spout to emit its healing waters. Though not accessible to the general public, the spouting water is evidence of the carbonated composition of this spring. We stood in awe, gazing at the spout while listening to the sound of surrounding water moving downhill. Stop 5: Creekside Classroom On our way out, we visited the Creekside Classroom. We first encountered the back of the building which has a bed of a variety of flowers. The classroom contains pamphlets and fliers with information about Saratoga Springs and a large birdwatching window with binoculars and information about yhe birds that inhabit the park. On display is the skins of animals native to the region. The girls were not super excited about that, but it is worth seeing. On your way out, be sure to say hi to Lois the turtle. We all left rejuvenated and happy. Looking forward to a few more visits to the park.

I recently celebrated one year in our apartment. For the most part, the apartment is decorated, but I seem to struggle in one area, and that is the placement of wall art in specific rooms. The sheer number of choices available—from the kind of art to its placement—has lead to what’s commonly known as analysis paralysis . This state of overthinking has stalled my decorating efforts, leaving the walls of the bathrooms and my bedroom feeling incomplete. Let’s explore the phenomenon of analysis paralysis and practical tips to help us all confidently make decisions about our wall decor. Understanding Analysis Paralysis Analysis paralysis occurs when overanalyzing or overthinking a problem prevents a person from making a decision. In the context of wall decor, this can manifest as endlessly comparing different styles, colors, and layouts without committing to any of them. The fear of making the wrong choice can be overwhelming, leading to procrastination and indecision. Common Causes of Analysis Paralysis in Wall Decor: Overabundance of Options: The multitude of design possibilities can be daunting. Fear of Mistakes: Worrying about making the “wrong” choice can paralyze decision-making. Perfectionism: The desire for everything to be perfect can hinder progress. Lack of Confidence: Uncertainty about design skills or aesthetic judgment can lead to hesitation. Strategies to Overcome Analysis Paralysis 1. Set Clear Goals and Priorities Before diving into the plethora of wall decor options, take some time to define what you want to achieve with your space. Ask yourself questions like: What mood or atmosphere do I want to create? Which color scheme makes me feel comfortable and happy? What look am I trying to achieve? Having a clear vision will help narrow down your choices and make the decision process more manageable. 2. Limit Your Options Limiting your choices can makes decision-making easier as it improves focus. Choose a specific theme or color palette and stick to it. This can drastically reduce the number of options and makes it easier to move forward. 3. Start Small If the idea of decorating an entire room feels overwhelming, start with a small section of your wall. For example, you could begin by creating a gallery wall with a few select pieces and build from there. Small steps build momentum and create a boost in your confidence. 4. Trust Your Instincts Sometimes, the best decisions are made by following your gut. If a particular piece of art or a color speaks to you, trust that instinct. Your home is your sanctuary, and your choices should reflect your unique taste and personality. 5. Seek Inspiration, But Don’t Overdo It Seeking inspiration through design magazines, websites, and social media can provide valuable inspiration, but it can also contribute to analysis paralysis if overdone. Set a limit on how much time you spend gathering ideas. Once you’ve found a few concepts you love, stop searching and start yaking action. 6. Ask for Help If you’re truly stuck, don’t hesitate to seek advice from knowledgeable friends, family, or even professional decorators. Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide the clarity needed to move forward. 7. Embrace Imperfection Remember that nothing is permanent. Wall decor can be changed and updated over time. Embrace the idea that your home is an evolving space and allow yourself the freedom to experiment and make changes as your tastes evolve. Overcoming analysis paralysis when it comes to wall decor is all about finding a balance between thoughtful consideration and decisive action. By setting clear goals, limiting options, starting small, trusting your instincts, seeking inspiration wisely, asking for help, and embracing imperfection, you can create a space that feels truly yours without the stress of endless deliberation. Your walls are a canvas—don’t be afraid to make your mark!

Imagine putting on a series for some entertainment while cleaning your home and hearing the most beautiful and eloquent words you have ever heard being spoken from your ear buds that it stops you in your tracks?! This is what happened while watching Thank You, Next , a Netflix series that seems to have a great following, because of the main character Leyla. Leyla seems to have gotten herself into a bit of a pickle and gets a kintsugi bowl as a gift, which send her into the most introspective monologue that uses kintsugi as a metaphor for healing and resilience. Leyla says: “Kintsugi… seeks to elevate the beauty and the functionality of a broken object. According to this philosophy, a break is not a loss but a new form of existence. Certain events in human life can leave deep scars that may be deemed impossible to repair. However overcoming them and fixing the damage with more valuable and stronger bonds is also part of life. Rather than discarding the broken parts of an object, they’re intentionally accentuated to make them a part of its history. This is a struggle against fragmentation. It doesn’t embrace nothingness, instead it highlights the progress from when it was first broken. Vulnerability is neither denied nor suppressed, and no aspect of life is considered a flaw. It is so valuable despite not reaching greatness.” Wow! Just wow! If we can apply the philosophy of kintsugi to our lives and relationships—especially intimate ones—we will be able to see the beauty in our experiences. We may be fragmented, but not beyond repair. The right kind of love—self, familial, friendship, and intimate—and healing can put us back together, so that we may recognize the beauty in every phase and stage of who we are. (Photo from Stock Photos from Lia_t/Shutterstock)

In a moment of deep contemplation about some of my life experiences, I thought about the act of forgiveness and what it means to me. I was taught in my very Christian upbringing that true healing required forgiveness. I have since evolved into believing that forgiveness should be given to those who are truly remorseful and with boundaries. Both can be correct I suppose, but the question then remains, can one truly heal without forgiveness? Forgiveness is not the only route to healing. The idea that to release the hurt caused by others, you need to forgive them first feels like an imposition and an assault on the consciousness of a person who has been violated. What it does is center the individual who caused the harm, and require the victim to somehow empathize with the aggressor's actions. It forces the victim to give the bad actor some leeway, as some sort of imposed and necessary route to healing. Nothing can be further from the truth. This may be very unpopular when I say it, but I don’t need to forgive you to release you. I release you for my wellness. I release you for my well-being. I release you for my sanity. I don’t have to forgive your actions to get there. You don't owe the offender forgiveness to not be viewed as bitter and angry. Your only requirement is to heal yourself, forgive yourself for any internalized blame, and believe that you’re capable of thriving and having an amazing life despite what was done to you. My belief was further cemented after a conversation with my therapist about this very topic of forgiveness. We were talking about my relationship with my ex-husband—a good one that still requires some healing—and went on to talk about what healing and forgiveness look like with an individual you don't have much contact with, compared to someone you have contact with daily. She asked, "Do you think releasing is sufficient for healing in this relationship, or would you need to be able to forgive?" This stayed on my mind for a few days and the only conclusion that I arrived at is that the first focus should be self-healing. Forgiveness is written nowhere in the five stages of grief. The focus is to heal yourself in the most healthy manner that you can so that you are not fixated on your hurt and do not further victimize yourself. Too often, society puts so much pressure on individuals to forgive and 'move on,' without even giving them a moment to process what has happened. The act of forgiving is when you  " stop blaming or being mad at someone for something that person has done, or not punish them for something " or you " to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) ." This takes time. Getting to the point where the presence of the offender does not take you to a place of anger, resentment, and bitterness is a major milestone and ultimately the end goal. I am not the authority on forgiveness, but what I can say is that no one should be pressured into forgiveness, especially without boundaries. Take the work inward. Find your peace, focus on yourself and your healing, and maybe eventually, you can start walking into the path of forgiveness, if you choose to do so.

If anything speaks to my soul and my life, it is the two phrases “Breathe” and “Stay Present.” It is not always easy to accomplish, but I live by these rules. As a mom of two under four, working a part-time job and in school full time, maintaining my sanity is crucial . Like many moms these days who have so much going on, it is important to make the best of these twenty-four hours—while still getting some sleep of course. This weekend, I am organizing my apartment . Sharing a moderately sized apartment —by NYC standards—with three other people is quite a lot. So I will be doing quite a bit of breathing while trying to clean, yet keep two little people entertained. So as many of you do your Saturday cleaning, take time to breathe and try to stay present in your body and with your families. Have a wonderful weekend. Photo of sketch from the booklet “What to do if you experience: Emotional Stress or Burnout” courtesy of Baruch College Counseling Center Staff 2019, with special thanks and credit to Jordan Alam for her inspiration

We are still in the midst of a whole pandemonium—a.k.a pandemic— and I, like many people am vaxed, masked and ready to conquer outside. Unfortunately, I’m ready to throw in the towel. I am somewhat disappointed. It seems that this pandemic has changed many and not necessarily for the better. I get it. Times are hard and people have lost so much. We’re all trying our best to get through the day without an earth-shattering meltdown. Some people are trying to hold it together while some are unleashing their turmoil on others. In these times, a little kindness can go such a long way. This is exactly the time we should be exercising a bit more kindness toward each other. We are all walking with some degree of pain, heartache and even trauma. It’s never okay to unleash that on those who have caused you no harm. Lately I’ve just been seeing the anger and rage in people. From the woman last week who was driving a little too close behind me as I slowed down to find a parking and took the time to roll down her window to yell profanities me, to the driver who looked like she was not going to stop at the light and risk running straight into me. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything when I am home, if this is the way people feel the need to conduct themselves. These are the days when my introvert tendencies are screaming at me to retreat indoors. The only thing keeping me outside is that my children need the socialization, and that I need to increase my serotonin and vitamin D levels. Otherwise, I’d be indoors, happily enjoying the company of myself. I am venting. I need it. In these instances, I respond appropriately and try to remind myself that many more people show me kindness than the opposite. Vent in a healthy way and focus on all the good that comes your way. Change the internal dialogue and believe your way into an amazing week. Choose kindness. If you need a moment to vent, share in the comments. Share stories of kindness that you extended or you received.

Two weeks ago, I finally committed to a trip that required us to be in the car for three plus hours. I have a child who has severe motion sickness, and it means car sickness that can sometimes become overwhelming and very worrying. If executed right, she can last a two hour trip, so with an invitation from a friend, we booked an Airbnb, packed the car and off we went. I was ecstatic. For a long time, I was going through a severe case of escapism. All I wanted to do was leave NYC and go somewhere as rural as possible, much like my native country. I’m a girl from a small fishing village who is enamored with nature. It fills me with joy, hope, and excitement. I feel more connected to myself and Mother Earth when I am among trees and near the ocean. I feel a deep sense of calm. As we left the city, I was hopeful that the trip would be a successful one—aka no vomiting. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. My daughter kept vomiting and traffic was a nightmare. Even in the midst of that, we took a break at a rest stop overlooking NYC from near Edgewater NJ. It was beautiful. Even though it was windy and cold, I appreciated the beauty around me and the city in the not-so-distant view. We enjoyed the many colors of fall from the changing colors of the leaves as we drove further upstate. By the time we made it to the mountains, I was over it and ready to just take a nap. Rinsing off clothes, hydrating, and feeding people were the focus. We were happy to see our friends who were already there. It was dark and we were just happy to have a beautiful apartment to rest our heads. Somehow, I had enough strength to put together a quick dinner of salmon and sautéed vegetables. The night was pretty much over. Then I woke up in the morning and was greeted by an amazing view of colorful trees right outside. We got to enjoy a petting zoo and Liv got to enjoy a pony ride with her friend. Liv loved feeding the animals after getting over her initial fear. Scar could not be bothered and kept enjoying her time playing on the tiny play area. The weather wasn’t the best for the two days that we were there, but we made the best of it by relaxing, watching the kids play, and really connecting with nature. I wish we could have stayed longer and really explored Main Street. As a Hallmark Channel lover, especially around Christmas time, I imagined myself being part of small-town life. When we left Hunter Mountain through the winding hills, my heart began to miss the place that was now in the rearview mirror. I had only gotten to know for two days, but it felt like home. Hopefully, we will be back soon. What are your plans for this weekend whether you celebrate Halloween or not?

Breakups can be hard. They have the potential to wreak emotional and psychological havoc, depending on how you process the change. There are no rules on how to make breakups work. You may be part of the “ You’re dead to me crowd ,” but if amicable, you can wish your ex the best with or without the intention of remaining friends. There is no particularly wrong or right way to be an ex, as long as there is no abuse (physical, psychological, sexual, or emotional), but there are those circumstances where exes remain physically intimate with each other. This is the one situation that is usually frowned upon. The one that is generally viewed as a weakness or a sign of poor decision-making. Fortunately, you will not be shamed here for that decision, rather, we will explore the many reasons why you’re still sleeping with your ex . 1. It feels comfortable and familiar When time and effort have been invested in a relationship, there is a sense of comfort and familiarity that feels so good. Change can be difficult, and we all have needs. It is that safety that keeps you crawling back into each of your ex’s beds. Having to learn the needs and wants of another partner feels like too much work, so you just want to go back to what you know. 2. You want to avoid the pain of a breakup Our culture has a habit of making it seem like moving on from a relationship should be the easiest thing, but it isn’t. It can be downright traumatic. So sometimes as a way to avoid the pain, you will resort to maintaining a “purely” sexual relationship—however you choose to define that. 3. You find it easier than grieving the end of the relationship The end of a relationship is much like a death and is processed in very much the same way. For that reason, you find it incredibly easier to get back into old routines. Having to acknowledge that the relationship has come to an end may be too painful to process, so you numb it out through sex. It’s the act of wanting your ex in any capacity, instead of suffering the loss. 4. Sex may have been the best part of your relationship Let’s be honest. Sometimes, it can simply be that the best sex you had was with your ex. Ending a relationship does not always mean the sparks are gone. To suddenly go from a great and active sex life, to no sex life can be difficult for you, so rather than lose that connection, you keep your sex life going. 5. You’re afraid to start over So now, we’re moving into dicier waters. This is a fear that so many people experience after a breakup, hence the variation in when people start dating again. It can be weeks, months, or years. The fear of starting over can stagnate or even cripple an individual into sometimes such behaviors. Much like salmon, instead of flowing downstream to adapt to salty ocean water,s you attempt to swim upstream. 6. You think you will be better co-parents Another perspective for those bonded together by children is that the connection helps the co-parenting relationship. However distorted it may seem, the bond of your children can have a powerful hold on relationships between parents. It has kept entire families together whether happy or unhappy. Sex with the ex takes on an almost whole different meaning then. 7. You can’t or won’t say no Absent of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, some people just either can’t or won’t say no to the ex. There may be some deeper wounds that need healing in that situation. For all the reasons mentioned above and below, even when there is a commitment to yourself to not have sex with your ex, you somehow end up right back there. It then becomes a factor of not being able to maintain your boundaries and that may need some serious relearning. 8. You think your partner might change eventually I am all but too familiar with this reason. The one where you hope that your partner will get a clue eventually, and keeping the sexual connection, can motivate some emotional changes. Honestly, sometimes sex is just sex. Nothing more or less, and to hope for the realization of love is like holding yourself hostage. At some point, you might have to realize that your hopes may never materialize. 9. You still love/like your ex And last, but not least, you might still love your ex. That’s it. You’re still there, not just because of the ex, but because you still love your ex. At the end of it all, you need to decide where maintaining this long-term is worth your while.

Hi everyone, How have you been? Honestly. How has life been treating you? Many of us made it through a whole pandemonium—pandemic—having lost so much. Loved ones, relationships, jobs, and maybe even your sense of self. I know that the pandemic hit me like a ton of bricks, to the point that I couldn’t even fathom being able to work for several months. I was an emotional wreck internally, even though no one other than my therapist could see that I was weathering the worst storms of my life. But yet, here I am . I made it through and so have you. I am also very certain that there were many wins. My life got a little slower. A pace that I had been craving for so long, but never imagined it could happen. I worked from home, found healing in therapy, and learned to appreciate the love I had. Once practicing gratitude became a bigger priority, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was able to see what I had as opposed to what I didn’t and what I lost. For those of you who made it through, making it through, and those who can’t even see the light at the end of this tunnel, I want to remind you that. You are valuable. You are loved. You are worthy. What are your plans for the weekend and how are you being intentional with your time?

From an early age, I taught my daughters to not yuck anyone’s yum. “No thank you” will suffice over negative comments and judgment. What a person eats is between them, God—if you believe—and/or their doctor. Food is never used as a reward of any kind. That means, if you did not eat all your dinner, you still get dessert if it’s dessert night. There will be no convincing or coercing at mealtime. They are also always in full control of what goes in their stomachs , because I offer, you eat . It’s as simple as that. The last thing I want to do is argue about food with children. I will lose even before it starts. Therefore nothing makes me cringe more than adults, loudly discussing or dissecting every food choice of colleagues whether it is solicited or not. When this happens, more often than not, I find that people are outwardly recreating the negative internal dialogue that they have with themselves. Maybe I am biased and privileged, because I was lucky to have been raised by a mom who encouraged good eating habits without ever attaching guilt or shame to my choices. Imagine what that does to a person who grows up seeing someone in their household who probably did every diet, forced them on a diet, or spoke of that person’s body in negative terms. We have unfortunately moralized food choices. The people who enjoy an occasional or daily processed snack are deemed as destroying their bodies and placed on a lower totem pole compared to people who maintain a vegetarian or vegan diet etc. Now these are the people who “care” about their bodies. They are supposedly ethical, moral, and environmentally conscious ones who are considered one of the “good people” without factoring in motivations. How did we get there? Well, no thanks to diet culture, we are developing a starving and malnourished population by choice , many of whom are impressionable teens and young adults trying to emulate what they see in popular culture. When you have the WSJ posting articles like “ To Save Money, Maybe You Should Skip Breakfast ,” it comes off as very tone deaf. In 2021, more than 34 million people in the United States live in food insecure households , a decline from 38 million in 2020. Of those, 9 million are children. It even shows that a staggering 53 million people turned to food programs in 2021. We will try to achieve an ideal at any cost and do it all by being tone deaf. Maybe the WSJ had to meet the demands of one of their advertisers and attached it to being fiscally responsible. I’m not sure, but they most definitely were speaking the language of diet culture. This is simply body policing and food shaming in the workplace, whether we want to admit it or not, and it has no place there. These conversations can be triggering for people with eating disorders and body issues, especially when you cannot just casually leave your desk and refuse to work till the conversation is over. It’s the equivalent of the dreaded Christmas and Thanksgiving family dinners where family members feel the need to make unsolicited comments about your plate. So the last thing I want to hear from your cubicle is how you think that slice of cake will destroy your thighs, how you’re on a liquid diet for the sake of getting your summer body, and I surely don’t want you to ever come to my cubicle to criticize my lunch, because guess what, “I didn’t ask you.” If you’re going to keep it up, do it quietly with willing participants. Don’t subject us all to this. Workplace discussions of diets need to stop, because we’re tired.