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Self Portrait in Charcoal, 2012 When I was a young child, sore throats were a common thing for me. We could never figure out why I kept having them, but I later ended up with a diagnosis of laryngitis . Somewhere in my early teen years, I recall someone saying that my frequent sore throats could be due to emotional suppression . While that may have been true, evidence pointed to allergic reactions and that felt like the only and more plausible explanation for my repeated infections. At that point, I could not conceive how my emotional state could so deeply affect my physical well-being. By the time I got to my late teens and early twenties, I began having what felt like a massive ball in my throat obstructing everything I tried to eat or drink, causing immense discomfort. I could barely eat, function during the day, and sleep well at night, because this globus sensation which I later discovered to be globus pharyngeus disrupted my whole life. It caused a severe decline in my quality of life. This was happening along with other symptoms and it wasn’t until my mid-twenties was I able to get a formal diagnosis of fibromyalgia. By then, I had already gone through several relationships from my first love, to the person who would eventually become my husband and future ex-husband. I had never been particularly shy or a wallflower, but I wasn’t the most vocal person in the room. I always tried to be sociable enough without too much small talk. I hate small talk! I was also the girl who was great at getting the second, third, and subsequent dates, but I quickly realized, that some of my relationships—as a young woman unequipped for dating—meant silencing myself. As the years went by, I got good at staying silent when necessary. This doesn’t mean that I never voiced how I felt, but rather that I felt backed into a corner by several of my influential relationships. I felt so many times that my words were falling on deaf ears. I also got the silent treatment , a tactic used to manipulate or stonewall me to maintain secrets and lies when I “asked too many questions.” Had these questions been answered quickly and honestly, healthier relationships could have been developed, but rather actively silencing me was used to avoid being accountable. Even worse, my inner child wasn’t healed and I was seeking that approval from my partners who were typically older. I learned to make this behavior acceptable to keep the peace, because rather than cause good trouble , I learned to become an active participant in my demise. At some point, I lost myself. Marriage and motherhood encouraged what I felt was necessary to keep the peace and keep a relationship that did not benefit me alive. I for one always believed that divorce is there for a reason. I was getting to a point where I no longer wanted to engage in toxic behaviors to uphold the myth of the nuclear family as the pinnacle of my success, just to avoid anything outside of it that is considered a m degradation of the family structure. I had to leave. I needed to find myself. It took a lot of work after a downward spiral in September 2020 at the height of the pandemic. I was now a single mother, raising two children and doing my very best to co-parent. The job I had been at for almost three years was coming to an end and people I knew were dying. I was in a deep state of grief, not only because I was put in a position to initiate a divorce, but also from losing loved ones. The only thing that somewhat kept me together was that job, so when it ended, I felt like Superman going into a free fall from the highest of highs to a morbid low. I had reached out for help. I had only been with this therapist for about two months. I think the first two months, I was feeling her out. I was still questioning what I should and could share. I know she sensed I wasn’t being one hundred percent authentic and I was holding back a lot. It was the behavior of my childhood once again rearing its ugly head. I absorbed all my pain and emotions into my body and it was destroying me with frequent fibromyalgia flares. I suppressed a lot of feelings and whenever I got the urge to say something and held back, there would be an intense pain in my throat. It would linger post-session. There was that connection that my elder told me about; the one I attributed primarily to allergies. There was no denying it. I had gotten so used to being silenced that I couldn’t allow myself to even feel safe with my therapist, who I was paying for a service, and where it was her job to listen to me. When that job ended in September 2020, it was the ultimate divine intervention. I don’t think I had ever cried this much in my life to a stranger. I felt like a fallen autumn leaf that was being blown every which way. I had no sense of direction and as someone who always needs a plan, this was new and scary territory for me. The uncertainty was terrifying and I knew I had to talk about this before it consumed me. I started to talk with my therapist, once a week and sometimes twice a week when I needed it. I realized more and more how much emotional harm I had been through in some of my relationships. Some of it was rooted in my need to compromise. It is a word I heard a lot being thrown around to help women keep a relationship healthy and alive. But for whom? Compromising isn’t inherently bad, but over the years, I realized it is rather the way it is exercised that can go so wrong. What could be an opportunity for connection can quickly turn into something where an emotionally unhealthy or manipulative partner can use it to their advantage. In that case, one party becomes the giver and the other the taker resulting in an unhealthy relationship. There is this video where actress and singer Eartha Kitt is being asked, “But are you willing to compromise in a relationship?” To which she answered, “Compromise? What is compromising? Compromising for what? Compromising for what reason?” These were all great questions. It is so easy to lose one’s self in an effort to compromise. And most compromise requires some degree of silence. Whether the silence is reflected in one’s choice to not ask certain questions, being agreeable to avoid conflict or even violence, or even silence after your perspective is shut down. My compromise was done to avoid being labeled as disagreeable , so I got to a point where I said nothing, because I realized that nothing I said would make my partner view what I had to say as valuable. In those situations, I felt like more of an accessory rather than a true equal or partner. Fortunately, my years in therapy and my own life experiences have taught me that my voice matters, and it is important. My thoughts and feelings are valuable. I add value to a conversation and if my social interactions are any indication, they show that I am an excellent conversationalist. I bring thoughtfulness, empathy, and compassion, and I’m funny as hell. That should never be silenced. If my questions made those partners uncomfortable, let them be uncomfortable. I will not be silenced. I am learning to no longer emotionally repress, avoid, and internalize anger to give some else peace while I self-destruct. I will speak up and live Out Loud . The woman I am now is stronger and she will not be silenced.

Last year, I decided to move to a beautiful suburb in Albany. What attracted me to Albany was a combination of great schools, the availability of jobs, its location—quick drive to Montreal in case we go full Handmaid's Tale—and access to outdoor activities. Recently, I discovered something interesting about Albany. It was ranked the 7th most unfriendly city in the country and the 13th unfriendliest in the world in 2013 by Condé Nast traveler. It wasn’t a reputation I was aware of before moving, but that wouldn't have deterred me anyway. I am from NYC, so it would take a lot to scare me. Having been here for a little over a year, I thought by now I would have been able to at least strike up a friendship, but I had no luck until recently. I made the acquaintance of a colleague and we are meeting for coffee this weekend to talk about all things writing and literature. I am so excited. To be clear, I do have friends. The longest standing ones have been in my life since I was twelve years old. We talk, share videos back and forth that give encouragement, provide humor or help foster real dialogue. I love my girls, but it’s nice to have friendships in a new city where I can call someone to meet up for coffee. As much as I enjoy the company of myself, it does get lonely sometimes here. Our encounter was inevitable. Have you ever seen someone from a distance and felt such a positive aura from them? That feeling was probably because she reminded me of someone I knew in my past. I happened to have seen her twice in the school library where I work as a substitute teacher before the day we struck up a conversation. It started as a conversation with one of the librarians about the new reading book when she joined. Then we continued talking about books we read. It felt so organic that by the end of what may have been about a fifteen minute chat, we exchanged numbers. I don’t believe in coincidences, so no matter the outcome, I believe that some people are just meant to be in our lives whether briefly or long-term. I was extremely close to "I need friends" in my mom group like I have seen so many moms in varying situations do. In many ways, I think this points to a bigger issue of adult friendships and how tricky they can be. I am just glad to be forming a bond with someone who shares some common interests. I will keep you posted on navigating this adult friendship, which I hope blossoms into something beautiful. Maybe at some point, I can host a friendship dinner—something that I have always wished to have.

I happened to be on Threads recently and saw a post that intrigued me . Someone with the handle Mr. Wallace posted "Dear millennials, I think we’ve healed enough can we go outside and ride bikes now? Maybe put the psychology books away before it’s too late and we’re gone? We know enough. Let’s live again." Though I may not agree with the statement in its entirety, he is definitely onto something. A recent analysis of census data found that Americans are spending more time at home , and a large part of it alone according to an article in The New York Times. The trend that was already happening rose significantly during the COVID-19 pandemic when we were all confined to our homes. In many ways, I don’t blame people for spending so much time at home. After all, you can get almost anything delivered to you and life has gotten very expensive over the last few years. Going outside means watching your money deplete in real time and so many people are struggling to maintain the current costs of living. With modern conveniences, we have more time on our hands to doom scroll on social media where pop psychology is the theme du jour. We have become so inundated with psychological terms and holistic healing for the last couple of years, that as much as I am proud of us for doing the work, I think we need to find that creative balance of living and learning. We need to understand that healing is a lifelong process and there will always be something to heal from at different stages and phases of life. Healing cannot happen in isolation; it is most successful in community, whether it is with the love and support of family members or with friends who are in our corner. It now becomes a question of what kind of activities are you engaging in that can help you achieve that overall wellness. As the author suggested, riding your bike is a great start. I would like to add, engage in play for adults. That can look different for everyone. You can get a coloring book and head outdoors, hike, picnic, dance in the rainfall, and jump in mud puddles. When was the last time you jumped in mud puddles? We are missing out on life, especially with a health and wellness industry that is marketing healing and wellness as a luxury. These industries have been formed as a way to strip us of our resources when our greatest resources are right here. Fresh air, a walk through a park, that canvas and pain you stuck in a corner for many years, those roller skates collecting dust, museums and so many other fun things. We all need to find what enhances our lives. For some, busy city life invigorates their soul and makes them feel alive in ways that no suburb or small town can. For others, a slower pace relaxes the spirit and helps them hear their innermost thoughts. Whatever that place is for you, enjoy it, and get out a little more. Tree Hugger, Renata Poleon, 2024 How are you getting out of the house this weekend?

I spent much of Sunday binge watching Three Women  on Starz. I was prompted to watch the show after seeing lots of ads show up on my For You Page (FYP) while scrolling through socials. In one of the ads a beautiful woman was talking about how her husband hadn’t touched her in almost three months. I was drawn in and intrigued, as she shared her story with so much pain behind her eyes. I needed to know more.  The series is based on the non-fiction work of Lisa Taddeo, who explored the lives of three women across America as they navigate the complexities of desire, love, trauma, and personal identity. As much as all the women resonated with me in some way, it was Lina’s story that struck a personal chord and really captivated me. Her emotions felt deeply relatable in ways that I hadn’t anticipated. I have never seen a character quite like Lina whose life mirrored mine in so many ways. Her journey is a raw and honest portrayal of vulnerability, yearning, and the sometimes painful pursuit of connection with the ones we love. It felt like parts of my life was being played out on screen which helped me confront my unresolved feelings about love, intimacy, and self-worth. *** To fully explain why Lina’s character resonates with me, it’s important to summarize the premise of Three Women . The series follows three central characters: Maggie, a young woman whose relationship with a high school teacher has deeply affected her life; Sloane, a successful businesswoman who carefully manages an open marriage; and Lina, a suburban mother of two who is starved for affection and intimacy in a loveless marriage. Lina’s story begins with the internal dialogue of a woman who appears to be trapped in a marriage devoid of affection. Her husband Ed, is an emotionally distant and clueless man who shows little interest in physical intimacy. After years of living at a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness , Lina reaches a breaking point and begins to crave something more—something that makes her feel alive again.  In addition to the deep emotional pain, Lina is also dealing with the physical pain of fibromyalgia —like me—and endometriosis . Lina discovers this at a visit with a rather eccentric doctor who recommends medication, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and a good orgasm. Oh, how I can relate ! The stress of existing in a loveless marriage breeds resentment, anger, and stress factors that contribute to a greater likelihood of chronic illnesses. It is no wonder that women experience a higher prevalence of chronic illnesses  and why they initiate most divorces.  *** One of the rather more intense scenes is when Lina has to call for emergency services from what she thinks may be a heart attack while caring for her two young boys. Ed returns home, only to downplay the events of what happened, and tells Lina that her pain is all in her head. Not only is her emotional pain being disregarded, but her physical pain is being trivialized in a way that furthers the divide between her and her husband. This is the point I think Lina is pushed over the edge and she is willing to lose everything. Watching Lina grapple with these feelings was incredibly emotional for me. It was as though she was voicing thoughts I had struggled to come to terms with in my own past life. At some point, many of us have felt unfulfilled in relationships, whether romantic or otherwise. We’ve sought connection and affection, only to be met with indifference or rejection. Lina’s yearning for touch, passion, for a connection that makes her feel desired, loved, and alive is a peek into the suffering of women globally. Her vulnerability is palpable to the point that I couldn’t even fault her for the questionable decisions she made. She is achingly real. That authenticity is what draws you into Lina’s unstable and almost juvenile world. Her desperation to feel loved, even if fleeting, is truly an act of self-preservation. *** Lina’s affair with Aidan, her high school sweetheart, and what-if guy  is a pivotal part of her story. This is where things get interesting. It is an affair born not out of malice, but out of a desperate need to reclaim a sense of intimacy and self-worth that has long been absent from her life. Embarking on the affair felt like both an act of empowerment and destruction. On one hand, she is finally feeling desired again—she feels alive in a way she hasn’t in years. On the other hand, she is aware that the relationship is precarious, built on the shaky ground of nostalgia and fantasy. Lina is locked in a juvenile state of trauma that in some ways has stunted her emotional growth. A woman in a loveless marriage can sometimes feel like she has nothing to lose and so much to gain by emotionally and physically. What kind of husband deems it acceptable to ignore the intimate needs of his wife?   The type who is willing to lose her. She had been in such a state of unhappiness that she just finally broke free. She would prefer to ask for forgiveness later than permission now.  This tension between Lina’s need for fulfillment and the potentially damaging consequences of her actions hit home. We’ve all experienced moments where we’ve made decisions, knowing they weren’t entirely healthy or sustainable, but feeling like they were necessary for our emotional survival. She sacrificed everything on the grounds of the relationship cemetery called Facebook  when she decided to reconnect with her old flame. *** The societal judgment she faces is somewhere she has been before. As she seeks out intimacy and love beyond her marriage, she is met with criticism, not just from those around her but from herself. She grapples with feelings of guilt and shame for wanting more than what her marriage can provide.  In many ways, Lina’s story is a commentary on the way society often views women who are unfulfilled in their relationships, especially mothers, internalized shame, and the suppression of sexual desire. There’s an unspoken expectation that women should be fulfilled by the responsibility of partnership, motherhood, and having their socio-economic needs met. This kind of thinking is restrictive and prioritizes male pleasure in a way that leaves many dissatisfied housewives feeling that it is taboo to desire intimacy more than their partner. This is not a space where any woman should exist. Lina is the personification of the internal conflict that women go through when they're left to fend for themselves in a way that requires true partnership. She tried building a connection, but Ed refused to listen constructively. Is that to say that I excuse Lina cheating on her husband? Not one bit, but I understand the level of pain she was in that led her there. At some point, something has to give, because living in an unfulfilled marriage is emotional purgatory. *** By the end of Three Women , Lina is far from having all the answers—after all, both she and Aidan are married. She’s still searching for a balance between her needs and her responsibilities, between love and self-respect. But what stands out to me most about her story is her growth. Lina’s journey is one of self-discovery, of learning that she is worthy of love and affection, even if that love doesn’t come in the way she originally imagined. She comes to realize that she doesn’t need to settle for a life of emotional and physical deprivation nor does she have to be a married man’s secret. Despite it all, Lina gives women the permission women to acknowledge their desires and their emotional complexity. She liberates us from the need to center male desire in a way that can be unhealthy inside and outside of a relationship. The overall prize is agency over our minds and bodies and the ability to feel content in the decisions we make. (Photo of Lina in a red dress JoJo Whilden/SHOWTIME)

Today’s my birthday! 🎉 It’s funny how each year feels a little different, with its own lessons, laughs, and maybe a few curveballs thrown in for good measure. Birthdays are usually filled with cake, lovely messages from friends and family near and far. But every year, I have a little tradition of setting aside some time just for myself—a quiet, reflective moment to look back on the last year and take stock of what I've learned. Birthdays used to feel like a countdown to something magical, as though I’d suddenly be a new person or everything in my life would somehow be better just because I was a year older. But lately, they’re more like gentle reminders to pause and reflect on how far I’ve come, and what I’d like to change or hold onto as I move forward. Here are a few things I learned over the past year that I’ll be taking with me: Embrace the Beauty of Slow Growth . I used to feel this urge to rush through milestones, convinced that by checking boxes faster, I’d reach some ultimate goal of “having it all together.” But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that meaningful growth takes time. Progress doesn’t have to look like a steep incline all the time—sometimes it’s a steady, winding road, and that’s okay. This year, I found a new appreciation for the slow, steady steps that lead to lasting change. It’s not about how quickly I grow, but how authentically I do it. Setting Firm Limits Isn’t Selfish—It’s Necessary . I think one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned this year is that saying “no” doesn’t mean I’m letting people down. Boundaries allow me to protect my energy and be present for the things that matter most. Saying “yes” to everything left me stretched too thin. Now, I’m learning to prioritize, to listen to my needs, and to remember that the people who truly care about me will understand. It’s liberating to realize that setting boundaries is a form of self-care, not selfishness. The Power of Small Joys . Over the last year, I’ve realized how powerful small joys can be. Life is full of big events, but it’s the little moments—a great book, a spontaneous coffee date, a quiet evening—that bring a surprising amount of happiness. I started a habit of writing down three things I’m grateful for each day. Some days, it’s big things like a milestone at work or a wonderful conversation; other days, it’s as simple as a warm cup of tea or a perfectly timed nap. It’s amazing how gratitude shifts the focus to what’s going right, even on tough days. I’m Stronger Than I Thought . This past year wasn’t without its challenges. At times, I doubted my abilities and wondered if I could handle what life was throwing my way. But looking back, I see the strength that got me through. I learned that resilience isn’t about being unbreakable; it’s about bending without breaking, about showing up for myself when things get hard, and finding ways to keep going even when the going gets tough. So, here I am, turning the page on another year, feeling a little older and maybe even a bit wiser. Today’s not about grand plans or sweeping resolutions. Instead, it’s about appreciating the person I’ve become, the lessons learned, and the gratitude I feel for each experience that’s helped shape me. Here’s to another year of growth, kindness, and a little more laughter. If I can keep learning, keep smiling, and maybe keep a few of those life lessons close at hand, I think it’s going to be a pretty great year. Happy birthday to me! 🎂 Here’s to the journey ahead, one small step at a time.

Entire meal prepping is a lifestyle choice for many individuals and families, but I do not envy people who can spend hours bulk cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for a day or more. I know it can be a lifesaver for many, providing structure, saving time and being more budget friendly, however, it’s not for everyone. The thought of meticulously planning out all three meals for a couple of days and cooking them makes me more frustrated. For that reason, I have found alternative strategies to maintain a well balanced diet without the rigid structure of full meal planning. Why Meal Prepping Doesn't Work for Me We're a busy family who enjoy making weekend plans. Saturdays are spent taking the girls to activities and any other plans we may have for the rest of the day. Even moreso, in my view, it is sacrilegious to do anything other than rest on Sundays. I prioritize these two things more than I do the idea of cooking for hours using up much of my day. We don't have the storage space for three meals for four people. We are renters with limited space in our apartment, so real estate in our fridge is very limited. We only have space for a few leftovers before it is packed, so it is not realistic for us to meal prep for more than one day at a time, which is more of an inconvenience. It creates stress , especially since I have one person whose taste buds change on a whim and a picky eater in the family. I need to have flexibility with meal preparation to accommodate changing taste buds. It is easier to have the conversation on what's for lunch and dinner the night before than to plan three days' worth of food for each meal. What I Do Instead Embrace Batch Cooking . Instead of planning every meal in advance, I batch cooking a few staples that can be used throughout the week. Cook large portions of grains, proteins, and roasted vegetables that can be mixed and matched. This way, I have a variety of options ready to go without the stress of daily cooking. Cooking With Left-Overs in Mind . We all enjoy a warm lunch in my family, so when cooking dinner, I cook extra portions to take for lunch. If it's a hit, everyone is more than happy to have a second helping for lunch or repeat the dinner with a few modifications like a different salad. It never goes wrong. Keep a Well-Stocked Pantry . A well-stocked pantry can save us from the dilemma of what to eat. I fill shelves with versatile ingredients like canned beans, pasta, rice, and spices. This way, when hunger strikes, I can whip up a quick meal without needing a set plan. I also have simple combinations that can be made on the fly. Use a Flexible Approach . Instead of rigid meal planning, I adopt a flexible approach to meals. I choose a few ingredients that we enjoy each week and create meals around them. This allows for creativity while still giving us a loose guideline. For example, if we pick chicken, broccoli, and quinoa, we can prepare them in different ways throughout the week with modifications when needed. Make a List of Go-To Recipes . I have compiled a list of our favorite easy recipes that we can reference when I'm not sure what to make. Having a repertoire of tried-and-true meals makes it easier to decide what to cook without feeling overwhelmed. During the week, I aim for quick recipes that require minimal prep time. Consider Pre-Made Options . On the off days when I do not feel like cooking, I always have a pre-made meal or two in the freezer. We grab a few items from the frozen aisle to make a balanced meal. This allows us to enjoy the benefits of planned meals without the effort of preparing them myself. Explore New Flavors . I make it a goal to try a new recipe or ingredient each week. This reinvigorates my meals and make cooking more enjoyable. There is so much inspiration online, or I just challenge myself to be as creative as possible using an unfamiliar flavor. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to eating well. The key is to find what works best for you while keeping your nutrition in check. With countless ways to nourish your body, you can embrace what feels right for you, and enjoy the journey of discovering a balanced lifestyle!

My older daughter and I are similar in so many ways. When I see her, I see me, even though she is a picture of her dad. In terms of her personality, she is most likely me. We connect most on our love of food and cooking, and we are both empaths. She is thoughtful and kind and has a strong sense of right and wrong. Her ability to stand up for herself and advocate for what she needs is admirable, but a skill that took some time to develop, as she was shy at times. She makes others feel welcomed and is a great friend. She is all around an amazing human. So it goes without saying that I love spending time with her. She loves taking walks, so on Sunday, we made time for a walk in our beautiful neighborhood park. Well, it was more like a run walk, since we are getting ready to participate in a 5K race, where I am her buddy. I am nervous, I won't lie, but I am prepared to take on this challenge for the little human who gave me the title of Mom . This is all part of her after school program that aims to inspire girls to discover, build and grow their self-confidence through running. Even though it has been challenging for her, she is not giving up and I know that having me run with her is going to motivate her even more. It was such a beautiful day and as soon as we both got out of the car, we were ready to run, but first we stretched. Then we started our run. Since I am newer to running, I've been doing an even count of running and walking respectively in order to pace myself. I need it so that I am not fully out of air. We took our time to make it around the park as we talked about everything from school, friends, activities she might be interested in and anything else that she wanted to talk about. It was beautiful seeing her in her element. We then started talking about a classmate that she has been having some difficulty with. She finds her to be quite unkind and rude at times. We talked about how that made her feel and how she has been handling the situation. There have have prior conversations about her to me. I asked her what she thought was the best way to continue handling this situation when her classmate says certain things to illicit some creative ideas. We then proceeded into role play about how she can respond to her. As we talked through it, she was happy with my suggestions. I reminded her that some people seek attention whether it is good or bad, and the best way to solve this problem is to starve her meanness of attention . The less you pay attention to her, the more she will hopefully leave you alone. As we kept walking, we noticed the pasture in the distance where the horses and cows were grazing along with the beautiful autumn leaves that were on the trees along our path. We hugged each other and held hands as we continued our stroll. My heart felt so full in that moment. Part of me looks forward to the amazing person that she will be, and the other part wants her to not grow up. What I do know is that I treasure these tiny moments more than she will ever know. As we walked over to the car, she asked for a pumpkin spice boba. How can I ever say no to that? (Photo credit: Feature image Getty Images)

I live for art and creating things. It is my life—my existence. My grandmother once told me in my native tongue Saint Lucian Kweyol/Creole " Lamen se sa ou." This directly translates into, your hands are yours with a deeper underlying meaning of " you have a great ability to create things ." I've always known that, but only began exploring it once I got into secondary school at age 11. I got a chance to explore my creativity with many mediums under the wings of a great teacher. My work got some attention, and at one point in time, I did think I could make it as an artist, but life took its course in a slightly different direction. Somewhere along the way, things got busy, and the time I once devoted to art dwindled. Work, social commitments, and everyday responsibilities took over, and the creative spark I had once felt so deeply faded into the background. Recently, however, I found myself yearning for that familiar feeling of getting lost in the flow of making something beautiful. As I started thinking about ways to refresh my living space, I decided to create more art for my home as a way to bring that creative energy back into my life. Little did I know that this simple decision would reignite my passion for art and change how I viewed creativity altogether. After such a long hiatus, I wasn’t sure if I still “had it.” But as soon as I picked up a brush and set up a canvas, I felt an old but familiar thrill—a quiet excitement. Ideas were flowing, but not with the fluidity that once existed. Yet, the difference now was that I had a clear purpose: I wanted to create pieces that would transform my space and make my home truly feel like my own, so I started with the most private space—my bedroom. This sense of purpose made a significant difference in my approach to creating. It wasn’t just about making something good enough for others to appreciate; it was about making something that I would love to look at every day, something that reflected my personal journey, moods, and aesthetic. That freedom to create for myself, without worrying about perfection or external judgment, made the process feel fresh and liberating. As I dive back into creating, I quickly realize how much my style has changed since I last practiced art regularly. I am learning to embrace imperfections—what once might have been considered mistakes is an opportunity to explore new directions in my pieces. This shift in mindset, from trying to achieve a “perfect” result to simply enjoying the act of creating, is been incredibly therapeutic. It reminds me that art isn’t just about the outcome; it’s about the process. The splatters, smudges, and unexpected color blends add character and make each piece unique. That’s what makes it meaningful. Decorating my home with art that I’ve created is going to add a new dimension to the space—it’s not just where I live, but also a place that tells a story. When I walk into my bedroom, I’m surrounded by pieces that carry the energy of rediscovery and personal expression. It has made my home feel warmer, more vibrant, and more “me.” In a way, my living space is a gallery of my creative journey, where each piece is a chapter in the story of rekindling my love for art. Falling in love with art again is about more than just picking up old hobbies; it is about reconnecting with a part of myself I missed. By creating art for my home, I’ve found joy in the process and I'm learning to appreciate the work of my hands more than I ever have. I’ve been reminded that creativity can be a powerful way to heal, grow, and express who we are. And for that, I’m grateful. What are you creating for your home?

Voting, Renata Poleon, 2024 I voted. Yes. I am one of the early voters who decided to go in on the last day of early voting. And the best part was that I took my daughters with me. This is the second time they have voted with me and it was even better this time around. Why you may ask? For one, they’re older and have a better understanding of what is going on. They both have been asking so many questions about the electoral process, the candidates, and what my thoughts were on each one. We discussed how the party values changed over time in a weird crossover which nearly blew their minds. But overall, they learned that everyone gets a say. We got dressed, my younger daughter with her teddy and tiny American flag in hand, and went out to vote . While I was in the building, they both stood at my side while I showed them what a ballot looks like. They got a chance to see the many parties on the ballot, with our preferred presidential candidate and representatives. We made our choice and put our ballot in. I say we , because I know my vote has a ripple effect. It is something that affects the futures of so many people. I made a strategic vote; one that I hope secures us a little more time to continue making this democracy better. My ballot was cast in remembrance of my ancestors who worked tirelessly for me to acquire these voting rights. This is a right that I hope to never lose and a right that the girls will forever value. I hope to look back at these moments and treasure it not simply as a civic duty, but as a moral and global responsibility. A single mantra that I have allowed to guide me in this exhausting election cycle is if you can’t vote in good conscience, vote strategically because every vote counts.

At 11:55 p.m. last night with blurred vision, I saw that 60,468,214 Americans cast their vote for the Republican nominee. I predicted the outcome by 9 p.m. while others in my household were saying there was still time. The writing was on the wall and it wasn’t good. I woke up with the confirmation of my thoughts and a dark cloud surrounded me. The disdain for women by men and even worse, from other women, immigrants, and the LGBTQIA+ was so palpable during this election cycle. Before leaving home, I got a chance to talk to my daughter briefly. She then texted me later before leaving home for school to say, “Welp! This is sad that…won. I don’t even want to go to school.” There was no way she was getting out of going to school, but I felt every bit of the underlying meaning of her words. I told her “Even though he won, there are a lot of people working to make sure that we do not lose our rights.” What else can I say to a child who is worried about women losing rights in so many areas of their life?" This black woman here is exhausted and I am taking off my cape. Thank you Black women, Black men, and everyone else who understood the assignment. This message is for you. Please turn off your notifications, eat something hearty, listen to a song that gives you hope, and go outside to breathe in some fresh air. There is only so much saving we can do when so many continue to vote against their interests. We thought that more information meant more knowledge, but this election showed that ignorance is bliss. Even with all the information out there and resources to find the truth, so many would rather cling to their hate. At this time, it is crucial that we hold onto each other and protect ourselves and our mental health like never before. I still believe that there is so much good in this world, but for some reason, it did not show up to save our democracy from this takeover. Even more sadly, to the women who continue to vote against their interests, in the famous words of James Baldwin, “ How much time do you need for your progress? ” Honestly, when will you stop championing the causes of people who want nothing more than to keep their boots on your necks? Is the prospect of cheaper eggs more appealing than the rights of your daughters, sons, and grandchildren? Though things feel dire right now, I will continue to find comfort in those who stand firmly on love and kindness. Thank you for doing your civic and moral duty. To everyone else, “ We can disagree and love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity to exist ”(James Baldwin). Then you're on your own when your eggs don't get cheaper and the rights that so many of your ancestors and mine worked for are gone. This election is not the end of the American story. It may have taken a massive detour and potentially set us back a couple of decades, but I believe there may be hope for us yet. We can't kumbayah our way out of this no matter how many people want to convince you of this. The future may seem dim now, but we will find a way to claw ourselves out of the hole we have created. I am not sure what the solution is, but maybe it is written in history. In the meantime, take care of yourself and the ones you love. Graphic art from @theself_careki /Instagram