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I would love to say I’m sleeping like this baby, but I am not. I am tired. I am tired beyond belief. I am drained. Drained by the deaths in my family, the life changes that are taking place and even this election. My sleep routine has turned to garbage over the years and even worse lately. I am struggling to get back to sleeping like a normal person, even though I am not sure what that even means. Over the last few years, I have become a horrible sleeper. I am not sure if it is my fibromyalgia or mild to moderate anxiety. Night time is horrible for me, because I have an insane need to make sure that my entire apartment is clean before laying my head to bed, no matter how tired I am. I am driven by a fear of an invasion of rodents and roaches, and if you live in a city where you share walls, you’ll understand. I look at the clock and see 10p.m, then 11p.m and later, only to find my self still vacuuming and cleaning. I have to be one of thousands who clean when stressed. You can see your face on my floors when I am done cleaning. I decide to make changes and I will succeed for about a week, then fall off the bandwagon. So, how are you sleeping? What are your best tips for falling asleep? I’d love to hear...

There are a couple of things that I thought I left in my teen years; glitter cosmetics, the idea of being friends after a break up and acne. Unfortunately that last one has been lingering with me like a bad breakup. I couldn’t drink enough water, cut out enough meat and dairy, try enough skin care regimens, or take enough vitamins and minerals to sway my genetic makeup. My unwanted house guest called hormonal acne has stuck around even now that I’ve started my fourth decade. It has been frustrating at times, but when I think of where I started, I know I am better than I was before. From puberty, every month has felt like Goundhog Day . It’s a neverending vicious cycle of breaking out, treating acne and not fully healing before a new breakout emerges. With few resources to treat my acne, I resorted to trying skin care products that should have never been allowed to exist in the first place, but none of it worked. I tried modifying my diet, but still, very little shift in results. I would constantly think, “When is this going to end?” Me in my 20s We’ll, it didn’t. So there I was in my twenties, spending thousands of dollars on skin care treatments and makeup. I committed to skin care regimens that would rival that of wvery Korean person dedicated to skincare. That diligence paid off in long periods where my skin was as smooth as a baby’s bottom with not a dark spot in sight, but all it took was one severe breakout to start the vicious cycle all over again. In spite of the turbulence, I enjoyed my teens and my twenties. I did my best to participate in life and not let acne resort to me isolating myself. Then I hit my thirties right after I had my first daughter, I had the most insane breakouts of my life. I couldn’t seem to control anything g that was going on with my skin while breastfeeding, sleep deprived and navigating motherhood. When I speak of feeling devastated, this was the epitome of it. I have one picture in particular where I was wearing my newborn in a Bjorn and sitting in a swing. When I zoomed in the photo and saw my skin. I was devastated. The ebb and flow of acne has been exhausting physically, emotionally and socially devastating at times. Having to find the strength to navigate this very judgmental world has not been easy, but has been worth it. I had to believed that I am more important than the sum of all my breakouts and hyperpigmentation. I am worthy and I am loved. I have been blessed with friends, family, goals, hopes and dreams. I am more than just a face. Gone are are the days when I wore a full face of make up to go to the corner store. My skin care regimen is working and makeup is to amplify what I already have. I started venturing outside bare faced and beautiful somewhere around my mid to late twenties and it had been the best decision for my self esteem. As my confidence grew, I came up with this simple mantra, “ The world will just have to take what I give it.” If not, people are free to look away. Acne did not diminish the light in me. It didn’t taken away my desirability in every stage of my life. I love this face. It is what I present to the world in all its many versions. Acne helped me amplify the real me. Not depending on your looks can help foster the most amazing personality. I am smart, witty, funny, kind and I lead with empathy. The older I got, I realized that few people cared about my acne in the way that I did. The beauty they saw in me was me being my most authentic self and that was good enough for me. Have you ever dealt with any skin issues? How are/were you dealing with it?

These days, going to the grocery store makes even the strongest of us cower due to rising food prices. For that reason, I have been coming up with creative ways to reduce the grocery budget for my family of four. Most of our family meals are made from scratch, but now, I am consistently making a few staples that I would usually purchase premade. Bread, cup cakes, muffins I love baking. I am a frequent baker of cakes, cupcakes and muffins, because I like having control of the ingredients in our food. Having children with food allergies has made me conscious of the ingredient list, and I am able to have snacks that I can pack for school. Unfortunately, anything that requires yeast as the rising agent is my nemesis. I loathe the waiting, but I have decided that it is worth it to bake our own bread. It's becoming costly, and I like being able to have bread with no preservatives. I found a great bread recipe online, and I hit gold the first time. My family loves it and I am experimenting with adding different flours. Next stops, focaccia and sourdough. Salad Dressing My family loves a simple dressing. The 'everyday' salad dressing that we use quite literally for almost every salad we make is a mixture of olive oil, avocado oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. It never disappoints. I have also began making small batches of Japanese ginger salad dressing, which requires blending ginger, carrots, onion, sugar, soy sauce, rice vinegar and oil to give the most aromatic and flavorful dressing you can think of. Caramel Sauce One day, I ran out of maple syrup at home and needed a syrup for crêpes which we make every week. I decided that homemade caramel sauce would be a great easy alternative. I make mine using cane or brown sugar in my cast iron pan and have been very happy with the results. Pancakes and crêpes In my house, we enjoy Saturday and/or Sunday breakfast. After a busy week, it's nice to enjoy a batch of crêpes . I have also been adding puréed vegetables to add color to my crêpe recipe since I have a picky eater. She loves the color and has no idea she is eating her veggies at the same time. Barbecue sauce Barbecue sauce is a staple in our house, so for this reason, I make a batch of barbecue sauce that stays for quite a while. I get to control the degree of sweetness and we all enjoy knowing that we can always whip up more as long as all the ingredients are in stock. This is a growing list of items. I know that for so many this can be time consuming, but it is worth it for us. Are you making anything from scratch? (Photos: Baking setup Wix, Loaf of bread Lillian.com , Salad dressing Erhardtseat.com , caramel sauce Bellyfull.net , crêpes Wix, barbecue sauce Natashaskkitchen.com )

This past weekend, we made a last minute trip to NYC to see my mom and reunite my daughters with some of their childhood friends. It was wonderful and we all had a great time. As exciting as it has been moving to another city, we miss our community of friends and the relationships we nurtured for all these years before moving away. We encountered challenges, but with some effort, we have managed to maintain the important relationships, in spite of the physical distance. One of the big challenges throughout this transition was maintaining balanced relationships. I did my very best to help preserve their friendships by organizing virtual play dates and video chats, but it felt like I was the only one reaching out to initiate these arrangements. I fell into the space of feeling that I was putting more effort into trying to maintain contact than they were. Nothing feels worse than when effort is not reciprocated, especially on behalf of your child whom the kids loved playing with. So I made the decision to preserve the relationships where parents participated and let the others evaporate. This was a true life lesson for the girls knowing that some people are only meant to be in their lives for a season. For those who stayed, here’s how we have been able to keep those bonds with the kids, no matter the distance. 1. Both parties need to be invested I cannot emphasize this first point enough. Maintaining a long-distance friendship requires effort from both sides. Both parties (parents) have to be equally invested in keeping the connection alive. Avoid letting the relationship become one-sided, where one person is always initiating contact or making plans. This will make or break the relationship between the children. 2. Embrace Technology In today’s digital age, staying in touch is easier than ever. Video chat has been a great resource for the kids. Platforms like WhatsApp, Zoom, and FaceTime make it easy to have real-time conversations. It shortens the miles between us. We also share photos, videos, and updates to maintain a sense of closeness. 3. Schedule Regular Check-Ins Having a routine ensures that you stay connected and involved in each other. This could be a weekly video call, a monthly phone call, or even a virtual coffee date. Consistency helps maintain a sense of normalcy and ensures you don’t drift apart. I even scheduled virtual play dates. There were times when we got busy and miss those appointments, but by communicating these inconveniences we manage to quickly get back on track. 4. Plan Visits Whenever possible, plan visits to see each other. It could be for holidays, special occasions, or just because. Having something to look forward to can keep both of you excited about maintaining the friendship. 5. Adapt to Change Conversations with the girls have been crucial in this transition. We talk about how their lives will change over time, and so will their friendships. They are learning to be flexible and willing to adapt. They are realizing that sometimes, life events might make it harder to stay in touch as frequently as before, but this doesn’t mean the friendship is any less valuable. Maintaining long-distance friendships requires effort, commitment, and creativity. For children, that transition can be successful with the active participation of parents who understand that teaching their child to nurture these relationships is important. By leveraging technology, being intentional, and staying flexible, you can ensure that distance doesn’t diminish the bond you share. Remember, it’s the quality of your connection, not the quantity, that truly matters. What did you do to help your children maintain their relationships after moving?

What are your plans for the weekend? It’s been a long week for me. Between a sick child, and too many appointments, I barely made it to the end of the week with my head on, but I’m here. As you go into the weekend, I want you to remember something I have told myself from a young age. What people think of you is none of your business. This is not to say that some criticisms aren’t valid and that we can’t learn from those around us, but the opinions of others should not dictate the direction of your life, nor how you conduct yourself as an individual of great character and integrity. In someone’s story, you will always either be the villain or the angel. Yesterday, I was the villain to a guy who just quickly walked onto the crosswalk in the parking lot near Loews. I think he assumed I was going to knock him down, and shook his head as he walked past my car. Today I was the angel. I helped bag my groceries at Trader Joe’s, which I always do and enjoy. The cashier was so appreciative, gave me a one arm embrace and wished me a wonderful week. You can’t make everyone happy, but you can show kindness and respect to them. If this isn’t appreciated, keep it moving so that you can maintain your peace. That alone is priceless. Have a wonderful weekend of fun, laughter and joy, because you deserve it.

I love clean clothes, but I hate doing laundry. When I say I hate doing laundry. I mean it from the bottom of my soul which is exactly where all my laundry belongs. I’d rather watch paint dry, because every time I see a full laundry basket of clothes, my soul assumes the fetal position on said bathroom floor. For the last two weeks, I had a pile of clean laundry sitting in one corner of my bedroom floor waiting to be folded, because I simply did not have the time or energy to do it. I know so many of us have been there, and that is okay from time to time, but we don’t want to make that a habit. Otherwise, this is where things can get out of control. So, here are some laundry strategies that might help if you don’t like doing laundry or just hate it. This strategy is also for people who have to go out to a laundromat, because let’s be real, we do not all have washer dryers at home. 1. Schedule laundry around your routine Now that I have a washer dryer at home, I can easily throw in a load while I do things like cooking or doing an activity with the kids. For people who have to go out, incorporate laundry on a day when you can really allocate the time to make it happen. I strongly encourage once a week whether you’re single or a larger family. 2. Fold right away The most important part after the washer and dryer have done their job is to fold immediately after. There is the temptation sometimes that you will get to it tomorrow, but I encourage you to do it while it’s warm. Plus who doesn’t enjoy the feeling of warm laundry. 3. Do smaller loads The sight of a big pile of laundry can be so discouraging, so you can try doing a load every two days if you have a washer dryer at home. For the laundromat crew, I would still say once a week, because that can be a whole event, but if possible, try twice a week. This can help you feel less overwhelmed and make laundry part of your normal routine. 4. Use baskets There are a few things I refuse to fold, especially for my kids. I do not fold my kids’ pajamas, but simply throw it in a basket. We also have baskets for underwear and socks, which they have to match themselves. You can opt out of matching socks quite honestly. As long as the right size goes to the right person, the will figure it out. It also doesn’t matter how many people I watch who beautifully fold underwear and socks, I will never be that person. I fold the things that need folding. 5. Get the kids involved Kids need to learn how to be responsible for their things in small ways. Yesterday, I handed my 8 year old daughter a small pile of dresses and some hangers and asked that she arrange it. She did an excellent job. They also help with the sorting of laundry sometimes and my younger daughter also helps in the matching of the socks. It may seem like something small, but it is a great way to get them involved. The less complicated the better it is for those of us who like clean clothes, but altogether do not like this process. Maybe one day, we will actually enjoy doing laundry, but for now, let's do what is needed to keep our families clean.

Yesterday was the last day of June and for the first time in years, my kids slept in. I would like to keep this momentum going for every summer weekend, but I know that is wishful thinking. The girls are not doing summer camp this year, so I want to give them as close to my childhood experience of summer that I can. There wasn't much happening in the small Caribbean village I grew up in, but I could always guarantee that I would enjoy playing with the neighborhood gang, getting lost in long blades of grass, climbing up my neighbor's guava tree, and walking around the neighborhood to pick up more friends for our wild excursions. I mean, who was supervising us? Answer. No one, but we somehow managed to get home safely before that street lights came on. Anything later meant we were in trouble, and none of us wanted that.  I can't replicate the very liberal play time I had growing up, but we plan on having a balance of very leisurely chill activities along with the days of excitement. Here are 7 chill things that we hope to do this summer: 1. Lots of family walks. Whether it be a sunrise or sunset walk, once the time is available we are out there. My older daughter loves family walks, especially when dad can join us at sunset. We will stop at the playground nearby and be as silly as possible while swinging away. 2. Play card games. We recently got into playing UNO, which we all love. Now that everyone has gotten the hang of it, we play once a day. The girls are still learning to properly hold their seven cards, but they look forward to it every day. We will definitely learn a few more games before summer ends. 3. Visit some waterfalls. New York state has some amazing waterfalls. I discovered Cohoes Falls, the second largest waterfall in New York state on the Mohawk River, literally in my backyard and there are so many more. We also hope to see Niagara Falls, Rainbow Falls in Watkins Glen State Park and Buttermilk Falls at Buttermilk Falls State Park among a few others (don't you just love the names?). 4. Watch some of the shows/movies of my childhood. I have a running list of shows and movies that I want my girls to watch, many of which they can't watch yet, but I have started. My 9 year old loves Pinky and the Brain and Tom and Jerry, which surprised me and my 7 year old had to take two tries at Matilda (1996) to appreciate the comedy in the principal swinging the little girl by her pig tails. The reaction was priceless, because she yelled, "That is abuse" (Lol). I will never forget it. So hopefully, we can start Full House this week. 5. More self care. During the school year, it was hard trying to incorporate self-care along the lines of manicures and pedicures at home, and massages which are great for kids. So this summer, more self care and relaxation for all of us. 6. Visiting farmers markets and local farms Around here, there are so many farms and farmers markets. Wej just want to check out the ones with chill vibes, get our taste testing on, get some farm raised poultry and dairy, and bring home a plant or two, or five or ten. 7. No plans days. Those are the best. Nothing beats a day where you're like a leaf in the wind. Whatever the day brings, we're up for it. We might cook or order some food. We might watch a movie or two, and I might let the girls enjoy Roblox for more than 45 mins. Ahhhhh. The good life. So yes! All we want is some good chill vibes, because me and my old lady activities which I quite enjoy would like to maintain this energy till the summer ends.

My first daughter is a walking ray of sunshine. She wakes up happy and bubbly every day with energy that I can only dream of. She is loved by teachers, classmates and makes friends easily. But from a very young age, if I asked, "How was school today?" she would never care to answer. I realized quickly that the question was too broad, and I needed to ask in a different way to get answers, so instead I started asking: Was everyone kind to you? My goal with that question was to really ask, "How were your interactions today?" Since a three year old would not understand the word "interactions" but understood kindness, I revised the question. She understood and very quickly developed her own Likert scale of very kind, kind of kind and not so kind with hand gestures to match when she did not feel like saying much. This would then allow me to ask the who, what, when and/or why to get down to some of her issues. By asking such a simple question, we have had such meaningful dialogue. It worked so well that I kept it up and my second daughter quickly learned what was being asked. The conversations can go from being downright funny, to spilling the classroom tea, and the positive and negative interactions of the day. It really gives the girls the opportunity to unload the stressors of the day. We are able to revise how they can advocate for themselves, our rules on how we should expect others to treat us and how to set clear boundaries. They have become quite adept in handling most situations to the point where my younger daughter who has been dealing with a kid who sometimes says unkind things to her—and pretty much all the other students—recently became very intent on telling me, "Mom, you don't need to talk to my teacher yet. I can handle it. I will be brave and keep speaking up for myself." I was so proud of her in that moment. She showed that she wants to try to solve situations on her own with classmates as a first step. She also knows that if it escalates, we can revisit the situation and handle appropriately. Free and open dialogue will always be a win in my book. How do you ask your kids about their day?

Having skin where I don’t need to wear makeup was the ultimate dream since I was twelve. I have dealt with acne from my teen years and as a woman in her thirties, I am tackling skin care on two fronts—acne and aging. Over the years, I have developed confidence in my beauty, and it has been great finding products that work on the exterior, while I work internally. These are the products that have done wonders for me without breaking the bank. Daytime regimen Cleansers For someone like myself who has been dealing with acne since I was twelve years old, I have been through a lot of skin care products. With that said, I still can't decide which of these washes are the best, so I use them all. I alternate, depending on what my skin needs that day or week, and how much hydration that my skin needs. They all provide the right amount of hydration. All three of these products are excellent. Tip: When washing, I alternate between use of my hands, or a washcloth. I know there are lots of products on the market for applying cleanser, but I go with using a cotton washcloth in a gentle circular motion. Rinse and dry in between use. Toner You can't beat Trader Joe's Rose Water Facial. This toner is great on cost and it gets the job done. It contains real Damask rose water and Damask rose oil (to bedew and moisturize), witch hazel (to balance and tone), and a bit of Quillaja saponaria (soapbark) extract (to soften and condition). I love this product. Serums Hyaluronic acid and vitamin C complement each other, because they protect, hydrate and help in repairing aging skin. The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% and Sephora Collection: Ultra Glow Serum together help my skin look more supple and more youthful. The results are astounding and show change within days of use. Niamicide can be called the liquid gold of skin care. It is a water based vitamin and mineral that has a brightening effect. The Odinary Niamicide 10% + Zinc 1% is an excellent product. It conflicts with vitamin C, so on the days you use niamicide, ditch the vitamin C and just use hyaluronic acid. Moisturizer For UV protection and a great primer for makeup, I turn to The Ordinary: Mineral UV Filters SPF 30. It does the job of protecting my acne prone skin while providing my skin with amazing antioxidants. Nighttime For nightime, I follow my cleanse and toner routine above and add The Ordinary Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion or in Squalene. This water-free solution contains a 2% concentration of an advanced retinoid active complex called Granactive Retinoid. They are excellent for ant-aging. The emulsion is great for colder months, because it provides the hydration, while the squalene is more lightweight and great for hotter months. Moisturizer This lightweight moisturizer is excellent for night time use and daytime. It's the final touch providing non-greasy hydration. It don't always use it on the granactive retinoid in emulsion, since it is so rich, but you can if you feel you need extra moisture. I literally glow when I am done with this routine and there is a noticeable difference in my skin. I hope this can be a really useful guide. Skincare is really trial and and error and paying attention to what your skin needs. Share a bit on your skincare journey and the products you use. (Photo of Granactive in Squalene from Katelyn Dupre, Trader Joe's Rose Water Facial Toner from Cubicle Chick)

There is so much beauty in this life. Unfortunately, amidst life's chaos and the loudness of the season, it is easy to feel deflated and uninspired. Here are 10 motivational quotes to uplift and guide you through the messiness of life. 1. "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and positive change. 2. "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." - Maya Angelou Empower yourself by choosing how you respond to life's challenges. 3. "The only way out is through." - Robert Frost Face challenges head-on; sometimes, the journey through adversity leads to strength and resilience 4. "Every problem is a gift—without problems, we would not grow." - Tony Robbins Shift your perspective and view challenges as opportunities for personal development. 5. "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lou Holtz Reflect on how you handle challenges, and consider adjusting your approach for a lighter load. 6. "Difficulties in life are intended to make us better, not bitter." - Dan Reeves Find the silver lining in tough times and let them shape you into a stronger, wiser individual. 7. "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb Understand that challenges refine and bring out the best in us. 8. "Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt Maintain a positive mindset; your belief in yourself is a powerful force. 9. "No shortcuts exist to the top of a palm tree." - African Proverb Focus on your goals and recognize there are no shortcuts to success. 10. "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" - Mary Anne Radmacher Understand that resilience often comes from the quiet determination to keep going, one step at a time. You have the tools to navigate through challenges with grace, resilience, and a positive outlook. Remember, you've got this!