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Having skin where I don’t need to wear makeup was the ultimate dream since I was twelve. I have dealt with acne from my teen years and as a woman in her thirties, I am tackling skin care on two fronts—acne and aging. Over the years, I have developed confidence in my beauty, and it has been great finding products that work on the exterior, while I work internally. These are the products that have done wonders for me without breaking the bank. Daytime regimen Cleansers   For someone like myself who has been dealing with acne since I was twelve years old, I have been through a lot of skin care products. With that said, I still can't decide which of these washes are the best, so I use them all. I alternate, depending on what my skin needs that day or week, and how much hydration that my skin needs. They all provide the right amount of hydration. All three of these products are excellent. Tip: When washing, I alternate between use of my hands, or a washcloth. I know there are lots of products on the market for applying cleanser, but I go with using a cotton washcloth in a gentle circular motion. Rinse and dry in between use. Toner You can't beat Trader Joe's Rose Water Facial . This toner is great on cost and it gets the job done. It contains real Damask rose water and Damask rose oil (to bedew and moisturize), witch hazel (to balance and tone), and a bit of Quillaja saponaria (soapbark) extract (to soften and condition) . I love this product. Serums   Hyaluronic acid and vitamin C complement each other, because they protect, hydrate and help in repairing aging skin. The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% and Sephora Collection: Ultra Glow Serum together help my skin look more supple and more youthful. The results are astounding and show change within days of use. Niamicide can be called the liquid gold of skin care. It is a water based vitamin and mineral that has a brightening effect. The Odinary Niamicide 10% + Zinc 1% is an excellent product. It conflicts with vitamin C, so on the days you use niamicide, ditch the vitamin C and just use hyaluronic acid. Moisturizer For UV protection and a great primer for makeup, I turn to The Ordinary: Mineral UV Filters SPF 30 . It does the job of protecting my acne prone skin while providing my skin with amazing antioxidants. Nighttime   For nightime, I follow my cleanse and toner routine above and add The Ordinary Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion or in Squalene . This water-free solution contains a 2% concentration of an advanced retinoid active complex called Granactive Retinoid. They are excellent for ant-aging. The emulsion is great for colder months, because it provides the hydration, while the squalene is more lightweight and great for hotter months. Moisturizer This lightweight moisturizer is excellent for night time use and daytime. It's the final touch providing non-greasy hydration. It don't always use it on the granactive retinoid in emulsion, since it is so rich, but you can if you feel you need extra moisture. I literally glow when I am done with this routine and there is a noticeable difference in my skin. I hope this can be a really useful guide. Skincare is really trial and and error and paying attention to what your skin needs. Share a bit on your skincare journey and the products you use . (Photo of Granactive in Squalene from Katelyn Dupre , Trader Joe's Rose Water Facial Toner from Cubicle Chick )

When discussing fashion, people can have very strong views on what it means to them, or their beliefs on the industry as a whole. No matter where you stand on the subject, the fact that you exist in a body makes you are a participant of the world of fashion. Even nudist wear shoes, and that small contribution is an indicator that fashion is part of all our lives. Recently, I came across the show Worn Stories on Netflix. It is a show where people explore articles of clothing that played a major role in their lives. Whether it be memories of a fun adventure, a source of identity and inclusion, or a moment where tenacity and resilience paid off, clothes hold beautiful meaning. I have to say I was captured and began to think about all the clothes that hold great meaning in my life—or at least those I can find photos of. These are the clothing that spoke to me at the time and some to this day. 1. My leather jacket One of the earliest sightings of this leather jacket was from 2009. I bought it from Arden B. From the moment I saw it, I fell in love. When I wear it, I feel like a total 5’ 3” badass and sexy at the same time. The belt adds a great feminine touch and cinches my waist line for a great silhouette. I just feel great when I’m in it. And as a girl whose favorite season is fall, followed by winter, I look forward to wearing it every year. 2. My favorite swimsuit Long Beach, Renata Poleon This swimsuit is a thing of beauty. I still have it, even though I haven’t worn it since I had my first daughter. It was so liberating to wear this bathing suit to the beach. For a long time, I had a love hate relationship with my legs. It was years before I went to a beach after moving to the US. As much as it was difficult being away from the ocean for that long, I needed time to learn to love every part of my body. Every time I wore it, it felt like a coming out party and me making the declaration, “Take me as I am world, because I love me.” There is no greater feeling. 3. My light blue booty shorts Following the display of my legs in a swimsuit came the freedom to wear these shorts. They were a pair of Forever 21 shorts that gave me life. The hips have certainly widened since this photo turning them into what looks like underwear and not pants, so I can ever wear these outdoors again. I have to say I love them and I still wear it around the house when cleaning. 4. My grey sling bag This was a gift from a friend back in my days as a babysitter. We worked in the same building and got to know each other pretty well. She gave me this bag as a birthday gift and I loved it. It looked great with everything and fed into my love of chains and leather while being relatively understated. I loved it. It had a lifespan of almost eight years until I had to retire her, but I had so many great times with this bag. 5. My trench coat I purchased this coat from Banana Republic and it has been one of my staples during fall and spring seasons. You can never go wrong with a great trench coat and the quality is superb. To this day, it still looks like new. After two children, I’m still able to fit in there. It satisfies my connection with timeless pieces over trends. I hope I never have to give this away. 6. My wedding dress Last, but not least, my wedding dress. Though I am no longer a wife, I loved and still love my wedding dress. It’s tucked away in my closet, but the story behind this dress was overwhelming. I was probably about a week away from my wedding date and still hadn’t found a dress. I was filled with anxiety and I walked into a DVF store in Soho. The store was low on stock. I tried a couple dresses and wasn’t happy, but I came across this one. Then I ran into a size issue, but with the help of the staff, I was able to find the dress. It was perfect. Clothes tell a story, so the question is, what story are your clothes telling about you or what story do you want them to tell?

This week has been difficult. I feel like my consciousness is frequently violated by horrible news, and the humanity of those who look like me is frequently being questioned. I don’t have the luxury of ignoring the news even if I wanted to, because it affects me and everyone who looks like. I have wanted to make this space one that doesn’t not delve too much into the political climate, but to do that is to disregard my very existence. Amanda Gorman the youngest inaugural poet titled her 2020 TED Talk, Using Your Voice is a Political Choice , and she is so right. You may slump back into your chair thinking, “Really?” Yes really. When you watch anyone with a social media presence, you’re not just looking at an individual, but you’re engaging in how that person takes up space in the world. Capturing yourself in photographs and using language is making a statement about how individuals wants others to perceive her very existence. Everything translated through pictures and words is a political statement. Today, I am using my voice to say: I am Renata “Bre.” I am a mother of two. I recently graduated with a BA in Psychology with a concentration in industrial/organizational psychology. I love painting, writing poetry, crocheting, knitting, reading and seeking adventure that involves nature. I am an introvert and I am passionate about humanity. I love making people around me feeling ten feet tall. I never intentionally hurt people and I am thoughtful. I am an only child, I love my mother dearly, I am a great friend and mother. You don’t have to know all of these things about me to respect and extend to me human kindness. My very existence requires that of you. For the black people especially who may see this post, and those who understand what we go through, I want you to take care of yourselves. Set the bar high for doing something that helps you have some inner peace and come to terms with all that is happening around us. Get together with like minded individuals. Talk to a friend, a therapist or a family member. Engage in some serotonin boosting activities . Hug on your partner. Light some candles and put on some music that soothes your soul. Just anything that helps relieve the stress and frustration that you may be harboring. We need to find ways to channel all that hurt in a way that brings us closer to healing our generational and collective trauma. I don’t have the answers, and like many people, I am processing myself. I just want those of us feeling this assault to take a moment to breathe and work on healing ourselves. We will get there. Namaste.

Being an is quite honestly what I now think of as my superpower, but it wasn’t always that way. Then, about ten years ago, I did a personality test that revealed that I was an INFJ. “An Advocate (INFJ) is someone with the Introverted , Intuitive , Feeling , and Judging personality traits. They tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination.” ( 16 Personalities ). This explained a lot to me. I am introverted, but I am moderately sociable. I get drained easily by the presence of too many people. I am a highly sensitive person (HSP). People for some reason feel that they can tell me things that they would almost never reveal to others. I frequently hear, “I feel like I’ve known you long time.” I also have a strong urge to heal and help others. This is when it can be overwhelming. Empaths need to recharge frequently, so here are the 7 ways to do that throughout the day. 1. Deep breathing There is nothing more soothing than gently feeling your breath go in and out of you. The more intentional your breath, the more life you breathe in, and the calmer your space. It is breathe that reminds you are alive. Whether you’re sitting at your desk working, lying down, or just in desperate need of a moment, deep breathing can help neutralize negative feelings and have a profound effect on one’s state of mind, creating a space of more positive energy. 2. Meditate Meditation is the next level of deep breathing. It is a mind and body practice that has a long history of use for increasing calmness and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being. For an empath, this is crucial, because the absorption of other people’s energy is detrimental to our physiological and mental health. Meditating helps to heighten awareness and refocus attention onto our internal well-being. 3. Commune with nature Nothing calms my spirit and energy like a walk-preferably a long walk. I grew up on a small island surrounded by trees and the ocean, and nothing brings me more joy than being outdoors. Some studies show that exercise can work quickly to elevate depressed mood in many people. Although the effects may be temporary, they demonstrate that a brisk walk or other simple activity can deliver several hours of relief . Connecting with nature is therapeutic for many empaths and a great way to recharge. 4. Watch something funny What’s better than a good laugh? Laughter is a powerful releaser of endorphins in the brain via opiod receptors. This is how powerful laughter is to the humans. It has an effect similar effect to antidepressants. What a great natural way to recharge. 5. Journal Writing things down has a tremendous effect on the brain. I have kept a journal since I was fifteen years old. The ability to release is so important, because empaths harbor a lot in their minds and bodies. All of that can manifest in unhealthy ways, so whether you write and burn—a more ritualistic approach—or write and keep, journaling is a great technique. You can also do voice notes or daily videos if that is more convenient works. 6. Affirmations Affirmations always set the tone for how anyone perceives themselves and how they present themselves in the world. By repeating positive affirmations, you remind yourself that you are more than your present circumstances and can look beyond where you currently are. 7. Have a dance party Move your body. If all fails, dancing will do the trick. Whether you’re an empath or not, how do you recharge?

It is a Saturday morning and my girls are still with their dad. My back hurts, my neck hurts, pretty much every inch of my body hurts. There are groceries from last night still sitting on my kitchen floor. Thankfully I had the strength to put away the perishables while everything else stayed in the bags. All I was able to do, was eat a bowl of cereal, brush my teeth and crawl into bed. I overdid it the day before. I went shopping for groceries and I had to run a few errands. The constant lifting of bags did a number. I knew I shouldn’t have been doing this but these were errands that needed to be done. It’s moments like this that remind me of how terrible it is having a chronic illness. It is the pain, the unpredictability of that pain, and the fatigue. Even with that said, having a chronic illness has taught my children and I so much.  Here are the three most valuable lessons my children and I are learning from my chronic illness.  1. The value and importance of self-care I am honestly not the best person when it comes to self-care, but recently I have begun doing a better job. I am learning more and more to make myself a priority and as I am doing that, I am getting the girls involved in the process.  Daily breathing exercises have long been a part of our lives. I do it daily to center myself and to calm my frustrations and anxiety, since that is very important to maintaining a low stress lifestyle. I started doing it with the girls as a way to teach them to manage their emotions and to mitigate their own frustrations. Childhood is hard.  We have also been doing stretching exercises at least twice a week and we dance every night after dinner. The girls love it. On Sundays we also try to do some physical self-care. By doing these things, I am motivated to maintain my self-care routine, and I am teaching my girls about making themselves a priority. 2. Respecting boundaries When I am experiencing a flare and I am in extreme pain, it is hard to be the best mom. It is hard to explain to my children that I can’t pick you up or let you hang on me in a way that is painful for me, but I have to set physical boundaries. I am riddled with guilt at times, because all they see is that mommy can't play with us.I do the best I can to explain what is happening to me in that moment in language they understand, even though it does not minimize how they feel. Over the years, I have gotten better with talking to them and requesting that they be gentle with mommy’s body. I teach them how to hug me. My older daughter has even begun offering to give me massages. She even tells her little sister to be gentle with mom.  Every flare does not always garner that response. Some days they get very upset, but I just keep reminding them that I need a little time to feel better. I have even found that just letting them lay in bed with me makes a world of a difference. I am learning it is okay for me to ask my children for space in order to feel better. I don’t have to always be involved in all their activities. That also helps them develop some independence, which is an excellent thing. 3. Compassion for self and others This is a word I have been hearing a lot of in therapy and it is directed to myself. I realized that I am not necessarily the most compassionate to myself. It is amazing how as humans we can show compassion to others, but don’t always show it to ourselves. As a parent, I am an overachiever. I want my children to be outdoors daily, exposed to arts and culture, participate in extracurricular activities, help them academically and be a nurturing mother who never raises her voice. This is barely possible for a mother who doesn’t have a chronic illness, yet here I am trying to accomplish all these things when my brain is screaming pain and fatigue. I have been learning to not put so much pressure on myself to fit this ideal. Some days I will not meet the mark and that is okay. I have overcompensated when I am well for when I may not be well. What I need to strive for is balance. All of this is also teaching my children to care for others. My five year old, who is a naturally empathetic child is becoming cognizant of what I go through, and displays a lot of compassion toward me during these times. My younger daughter is slowly learning and I know she is getting there. We are truly a work in progress. As much as I do not enjoy one ounce of living with fibromyalgia pain, I am grateful for what my kids and I are learning from it. I believe that I am giving them the tools to be great human beings who put themselves first and extend kindness and compassion to others. Photo of my artwork

It is undeniable the spiritual energy that reverberates around the globe around this time of year. Whether or not your energy flows towards Christmas, there can be some consensus that the holidays tend to bring out the best in many people. It raises the consciousness of community care. There are many people like my friend I’m about to introduce who respect the tradition of Christmas, but do not participate. Whether the celebration was part of their past or was never part of their spiritual beliefs, the uritual of Christmas can still be appreciated in some ways. Friend #3 Name: Tricia Beliefs: Afro Spirituality What does Christmas mean to you? Christmas used to be everything to me. Christmas used to be the moment where I spent time with my family. We didn’t necessarily always exchange gifts, but it was that period in time when you just reconnected. With it being tied to Christianity and also those ties to ‘ gifting ,’and who got what, and when and who was able to purchase more, there was this connection to capitalism that no longer read as important to me, and so to Christianity. I do believe that within this period, there is heightened spiritual energy and I do know that...I do recognize that Christianity did tap into all the ancient knowledges on what that period would mean. So in a nutshell, Christmas pretty much means nothing to me right now, especially considering I am away from my family most Christmases now. Does this time of year have any significance, and if so, what do you recognize at this time of year? The answer is no. It has become just a time that goes by. I think most important to me, and with this essence and sense of Christmas, I would say would be the period where Christianity celebrates Easter, which is actually what I consider to be the period of the new year. Again, with those spiritual lense. It is within Afro spirituality considered extremely important, that period of time. Not just Afro spirituality, specifically Hinduism also. So, that importance that was put on Christmas for me, I now put on that period of time. So that energy that I used to have for that period of year, I have transferred to that other period of year. Was it hard to let go of celebrating Christmas for your new beliefs? No, because I transitioned into knowledge. I keep trying to learn, trying to discover, so it’s kind of moving into a new space of self and therefore it’s like what was shed —I try to put it clearly ; it’s like shedding old skin, you no longer need the old skin. So, it was not difficult at all. Coming into new knowledge, there are some things that no longer seem or feel important. Thank you Trish for pouring your experience and insight about your spiritual journey. Photo by Suresh Natarajan

What are your plans for the weekend? On Saturday, I plan on dropping my kids to Nana's house. It's part of the self-care that I have needed so badly and a gift for finishing my bachelor’s degree. I am so happy and relieved. I submitted my last paper on Wednesday at 11:15 p.m. and I took a moment to exhale. I felt like I had been holding my breathe for a little over two years and now, I can finally breathe again. I thought about the moment when I would walk across the podium with my daughters watching me. COVID-19 has taken that moment away, but I know my accomplishment is not diminished. Now that I have come to the end of this journey, there are a few things I look forward to: Reading a book for pleasure Doing more meditation + yoga Not constantly feeling anxious about homework deadlines Sleeping There are so many mothers out there working, taking care of their children and home, and doing their best to finish degrees. You are amazing! You are diligent! You are strong and you are more capable than you know. Walk into the weekend giving yourself some well deserved self care, because I sure will. What are you up to this weekend?

It was about two years ago that I received a pothos from my mother. I loved it and I wondered why I had never had a houseplant, since moving into my apartment. From then on I’ve added many more plants and would highly recommend having indoor plants. So here are five reasons why you need plants in your life. 1, They're mood boosters Imagine how calm and relaxed and calm you feel after a walk in the park. It’s such a mood booster that you can imagine bringing all these elements indoors. Plants bring that energy and life that you feel among the trees while outdoors. I make it a habit to eat and work near my plants, because having a bit of nature near me indoors has the same effect of a walk in the park. It has a truly calming effect and makes you feel happy. 2. They're inexpensive Regardless of your choice of interior style, plants are an inexpensive way to make any home look great. Whether you’re a minimalist, maximalist or in between, we can all agree that plants add that extra touch. Unlike most design details, plants can be placed almost anywhere as long as they don’t pose a safety hazard. If you would really like to test your green thumb, try propagating your plants. Expand your collection while saving money. 3. They improve air quality Research by NASA shows that toxins can be tremendously reduced by houseplants within a twenty four hour period. Indoor air pollution can pose health issues, especially for individuals who have respiratory issues such as asthma. This truly was the motivation for expanding my collection of indoor plants. Plants absorb these harmful toxins and leave the air in your home cleaner. Improving the quality of air in your home is most certainly a major reason to have house plants. 4. They improve sleep There are many plants that are said to improve sleep, such as lavender, jasmine and snake plants to name a few. There is understandably a correlation to better sleep when air quality is improved. Better oxygen and even the mild scents of plants have the ability to create a calming atmosphere and induce sleep. Now tell me who doesn’t want better sleep. I really need to get a lavender plant. 5. They enhance well-being And finally, plants just improve your overall well being. Bringing more life into your home can help create a personal sanctuary, whether you live in a tiny apartment or a large home. It is so therapeutic to care for something outside yourself. There is something healing in the ritual of watering plants, tending to their soil and seeing them grow. It brings so much joy to wake up to them, because they bring me so much peace. Bring nature in. Bring life in. What do you enjoy about having plants in your home? What is the first plant you bought or received?

Yesterday, while working at my desk, my eyes strayed from the computer to enjoy a brief look outside my window. My home was quiet. No sound of laughter, no cries, no little human holding my face in her pudgy hands while planting kisses all over. It was my younger daughter’s first day at a great neighborhood day care center, where she will attend three days a week. As much as it pained me to hear her cry, I kissed and hugged her goodbye. I love having her at home, but I was getting to my breaking point. It was all just too much. When I was first given the news she was accepted, I felt a wave of regret, like “What have I done?” Maybe I made the wrong decision. The self-doubt hit me like a ton of bricks. I instantly hugged my daughter, who for several weeks had been talking about going to school. She missed her old school terribly, and she was sad every time we dropped off her sister to school. I wanted to call the school back to say, “I think I made a mistake,” but I simply held on to my little one. I hugged her and felt my heart snap like a crispy florentine by one of the contestants from The Great British Bake Off . If only it was followed by a dripping topping of mango coulis, would it capture what followed. Tears. Enjoying a break from work while making silly faces. At that moment, the universe reminded me that I gave birth to one of the sweetest little humans. She hugged me right back and said, “Mommy, don’t cry. I going to be okay,” in her sweetest three year old voice. Add that to her tiny arms wrapped around me, and her little soft hands patting my back. She had the power to erase a tsunami of life’s problems. I knew I would be okay, but having been home since March has made it very difficult to let go of her. I know for sure that having her home with me made it easier to let her sister go off to pre-k during these uncertain times. She made all of it easier. And now, after weeks of telling me how she misses her sister and school, I gave in and decided to let her go. I hate to admit it, but after dropping her off, at first I felt okay. I almost felt like I should be a little sadder after hearing her cries for me, but I knew that she was in good hands. Guilt, that unnecessary emotion, reared its ugly head, and I was starting to question everything. Am I doing this right? Should my girls be at school? Should I be taking my children out to the playground everyday? Should they be in school part time? Should I still have the occasional play date? Unfortunately, this is what COVID-19 has done to many parents. It has turned us into indecisive, fumbling messes, and if this is where you are at this point, I understand. I had to stop my brain from running amuck and remind myself that my children are happy and healthy. As mothers in this time, so much responsibility has been placed on us to get things right. Some are having to defend their decisions whether it is full time remote learning, or hybrid learning. Let’s just each trust that we have all made the right decisions for our families, our children and our sanity.

Today turned out beautifully. I woke up with the plan to simply do some organizing. The universe heard my plea and granted me a visit from mom who helped me a bit. Even though all I wanted to was sleep, I allowed my daughter to convince me to go out to play in the snow—although she didn’t have to convince me much because if there’s snow involved, I’m in. As much as I’m a planner, I leave room for spontaneity. It is really in these moments I tend to have the most fun. We were the only ones at the playground, and moved to the park. It was quiet and beautiful with fluffy snow. We were exhausted by the end of the time there. Sometimes, that’s all it takes; an exhausted parent who takes the kids out on a snowy day to make it, the perfect day. What are you up to? Photo Snow Fight, Renata Poleon, 2021