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This week has been one of new beginnings and a deeper understanding of what I need in my life to feel like I am thriving. More and more, I see it's the small things. One of these simple pleasures is hiking. Moving around mountainous terrain is comforting for an island girl like myself. Growing up, I was surrounded by fruit and vegetable trees, and many tropical plants in my small fishing village. Maybe I am now trying to replicate the experiences of my childhood, but whatever the motivation, I am here to experience the great outdoors. Last Sunday, the family and I went hiking at the Albany Pine Bush Preserve, which I would consider to be a great beginner trail. The girls were super excited. Even in New York City, we were very outdoorsy, so being surrounded by even more trees and less noise was something that made them extremely happy. We decided to tackle the blue trail where we encountered many families exploring. It was fun meeting them along the way, so it wasn't an isolating experience. We also met two elders who seemed very happy to be on this gentle trail. After tackling that entire trail while engaging in meaningful and fun conversations, and a few funny encounters, we walked back over to the discovery center. There, we were greeted by a wonderful young lady who gave us a wealth of information about the Pine Bush Preserve habitat and how it is maintained. We made our way through the displays. We left feeling so much calmer and more informed than when we came in. Remember, walking (for those who are able) can be an easy self-care strategy to incorporate in your life. Make time to connect with nature and get to know your city through exploration. Share your city and the best walking/hiking trails you've been on.

Life is a juxtaposition of events and emotions. It can be hard and beautiful. There is both joy and pain. You can dislike and love someone at the same time. The one thing that is certain is that life is always meant to be lived. As you go through this week, meditate on these quotes. 1. Realize that people don’t think about you as much as you think they do. Don’t waste time thinking about what people may or may not be thinking. 2. People don’t know how to navigate life. Everyone makes it up as they go along. Some are better at faking it. 3. Give to others. You’ll find what you’re looking for by helping others. 4. Don’t waste much time trying to figure life out. It’s been a mystery since the dawn of mankind. Greater minds have spent their entire lives trying to solve the same mystery. It’s unlikely to be solved in the next 40 years by yours truly. 5. Practice gratitude. Remember that someone, somewhere, is praying for things that you take for granted. 6. Don’t be so serious. Laugh a lot. It makes your brain light up. Make sure every day is filled with laughter. This usually happens when you’re surrounded by those you love, and who love you back. 7. Shy away from revisiting the past (regret) and predicting the future (anxiety). What are some of your favorite quotes that you live by?

Over this summer, I moved out of my dreaded NYC apartment that I had only been in for less than a year. It managed to kill most of my plants due to lack of light. I shudder at the thought every time I think of my beloved plants, but I am now in a place where they are thriving and my family is happy. Moving can be stressful, but even moreso without hired help. Shelling out that extra money can be a lot for some families, so if you want to pocket it and put that toward expenses in your new home here are some of the tips to help make things move like a military captain. Organize Your Move There is no way around it. This is not a time in your life to wing it. There is no going around it, because you are doomed to fail at making your move work. Packing can take longer than you think, so grab a notebook, a board or use your phone to create your timeline for when each room should be complete. I encourage going by room, because it keeps you focused on the task at hand in a particular space without being pulled in every direction. The last thing you want is to feel anxious and overwhelmed because you are not as far as you planned. This strategy will be a life saver. Declutter, Donate, Discard Moving is a great opportunity to really take a look at your belongings and assess whether you really need an item or not? Does that item bring joy and does it hold any sentimental value that you would like to bring to your new space? You may also be asking yourself, does this go with the new style that I have in mind? With these factors in mind, go ahead and determine what finds a home in your new space, or what gets thrown out or donated. This not only means that you're able to make space for the the things you want in your rental truck, but you're also setting up a home that is not burdened with stuff you do not need, which in turn means less cleaning time. The benefits are huge. Get all hands on deck When I said organize like a military captain, I was not joking. Packing can take longer than you think, so it means, all hands on deck. Get everyone from the adults to the little people in your household to participate. You can also try to get help from family and friends to assist in the process. For children, I strongly encourage making these times a great way to connect and create excitement surrounding the move. It's a great opportunity for them to have their questions answered. Not only do they become familiar with the keep, donate and trash piles, they get a chance to to exercise their decision making skills surrounding their belongings. Moving is a big change, so having all hands on deck can also create a moment where all hearts can connect. Categorize Your Boxes to Make Unpacking Easier Be sure to get your packing supplies at least four weeks ahead whether you're trying to gather free boxes or purchase from moving companies. Your marker will become your best friend, so be sure to label every box. The last thing you need is to play the guessing game when you're unpacking. Pay special attention to breakable items and plants that need to be transported. Get help to pack and unpack the truck When moving day arrives, you will need lots of help. Don't try to do this alone, because you can severely underestimate how much time and effort it takes to get it done right. I strongly encourage using help from family and friends or hiring help which is usually offered by major truck rental companies. You will be so happy that you did, even though you decided to forego having movers take care of the entire process of moving for you. I was grateful to see hands show up on moving day at both the old and new residences. Also, be sure to follow the recommendations on the box of how to pack your truck. Start with heavy bulky items and distribute the weight evenly. Show Yourself Grace Moving without having a company take over from start to finish is the stressful. It is not for the faint at heart, because it will test everything in you, mentally, emotionally and physically. I recommend prioritizing some rest once you get to your new place. Everything can wait other than food and a good shower. You have done so much work to make this possible. At this moment, remember, tomorrow is another day and you will get to it then. (Photo Credit: Deposit Photos, Schleppers, Unsplash, bernadbodo/Adobe Stock, Annie Spratt/Unsplash) Have you moved recently and what was your experience? What other recommendations do you have?

I moved to the US toward the end of fall on a November day in 2002. I packed a suitcase and possibly two bags on a flight bound to John F. Kennedy International Airport in Queens NY. I had just recently graduated from a community college and a month earlier said goodbye to my first love who moved away to England. It was a particularly difficult time, because even though I lost one love, I was being reunited with another. It was almost a year since my mother left. That was the longest we had ever been apart. We were stuck to the hip, so when she left, there was a gaping hole in my heart. She made the tough decision to move to the United States to start a new life. When she left, she promised that she would send for me and that we would see each other again soon. Well, she kept her word. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Unlike the many friends and family I knew whose parent(s) left them in the care of grandparents and other family members, only to reunite a decade or more as mere strangers, my mother left in my final year of completing my “A” Levels. I was quite capable of taking care of myself, but I still needed her financial support to finish my studies. When I was done with school, I tried job hunting, but was unsuccessful. Even though at the time, my heart wasn’t into any of the professions that didn’t allow me to exercise my creativity, I knew I just needed to work. This was pre smart phones, and all the professional apps that are now available. Like anywhere in the world, it’s about who you know and I knew no one in any kind of position to help me land a job. So, in perfect timing, my mother sent a ticket and on that cold day in November, I landed at JFK. I always say, "I never knew how black I was until I moved to to the United States." I say it with great humor, but it is really not a laughing matter. The land of opportunity, and milk and honey was about to teach me some major life lessons that I couldn’t possibly learn in my homeland. My friends and I have acknowledged a West Indian upbringing will give you confidence in your yourself and your capabilities like no other. I am probably biased and should not generalize, but growing up in a society where most of the people looked like me, and where my personhood was not always being questioned at every turn was a confidence booster. Maybe it had more to do with my upbringing, rather than simply the community I grew up in. In spite of that, I wasn’t prepared for the way I would be received and perceived in the country I now call home. The intersectionality of race, class and demographic matter so much more in the US. I am woman and black, minority and black, and immigrant and black. The common denominator is Black. The first time you’re confronted by the negative stereotypes associated with being a black woman, there is a degree of shock. You feel judged by a narrative that so many Black women do not identify with. This is highly problematic. It does not assign us the full spectrum of emotions, diversity of interests and of thought. Here, being a black woman you’re seen as a monolith, and if you color outside the lines, you’re deemed a living breathing unicorn, even by your own. No one cares if you grew up rich, poor or in between. We are assigned every negative attribute you can assign to a woman simply based on the richness of our melanin. The richer the melanin, the worse it gets. We are deemed to be “loud, ‘ghetto’ (ghetto is a place), too dark, too much, bitter, angry, aggressive, unladylike, a baby mama, rude, unattractive, unmarried, and/or existing to cash welfare checks.” We are collectively invalidated; a sordid reality that we are continuously viewed as the undesirables or against the norm. Nothing new here to see people, but I questioned in my earlier years here, “How can Black women truly thrive in a society that consistently finds ways to minimize our existence from birth to death?” We are the undesirables of the undesirable, in spite of the fact that we are the desirable. If you know, you know. I quickly realized we don’t have a choice, but to thrive. We always have and will continue to. From our ancestors to present day, black women have had to learn to rely on ourselves in so many aspects of our lives. This is both a trauma response and a realization that no one is coming to save us, even as we gather to heal while building community. We don’t always get that knight in shining armor and neither are we waiting. As a group, we will continue to occupy space anywhere and everywhere we want to, even when we are not necessarily welcomed. We do not let closed doors stop us from pursuing our passions and dreams; we will find a window and squeeze through. We are beauty. We are love. We are ambitious. We are healers and healing. We will continue to make lemonade out of lemons.

Happy birthday to me. I am so grateful to be here another year on this planet, breathing, as healthy as I can be with a chronic illness and loving those around me. As I get older, one thing I value about myself is my ability to be authentic. What you see is what you get. I am tactfully honest, I care about people, and I am doing the work necessary to grow mentally and spiritually. I love myself, and whatever parts I don’t love so much, I’m working on making the changes so I can love me even more. As I celebrate another year around the sun, I am reminded that the one person I have to live with is me. “She matters, she is enough, she is precious, and the more I take care of her, the more she takes care of me. She is deserving of everything good.” I am grateful. I am here. I am alive and I will keep living.

It’s the first day of February and a nor’easterhas made landfall in NYC. The city is a blanket of snow. Heavy snow and strong winds set the stage for weather that is perfect for staying indoor even more than we already are, and warm up, until the winds subside. To stave off boredom in any snowstorm, here is a list of things you can do. 1. Make some comfort food. Anything that takes you back to your childhood is a great option. Whether it’s a family recipe passed down for generations or one of your own creations, just make it happen in the kitchen. Your stomach will thank you. 2. Play some of your favorite board games.Get a game you have not played in forever and get your mojo back. It’s the perfect day. 3. Make homemade popcorn while enjoying a movie marathon. Whether you’re into romantic comedies (romcom), comedy, action, etc., hunker down and enjoy at least two movies. 4. Have a dance party with your favorite tunes. Grab your partner and/or your kids and liven up the spirit. A snow day is a fun day. Move those hips and get a great workout from it. Make it pajama or robe day. You can’t beat comfy clothes. 5. Perform some karaoke music. I think everyone likes karaoke. That’s my biased opinion. Have everyone pick a song or two starting from the youngest to the oldest or the opposite and see who can belt out their favorite tunes. 6. Read a book. I mean an actual book. Not an ebook. This a great opportunity for some quiet time. Everyone needs to grab a book and get to reading. 7. Take a nice long nap. If you’ve been losing out on sleep, what a great time to catch up if you’re not working. A power nap does wonders, but a nice long nap is heavenly. 8. Make some baked goods. Cookies, banana bread, cupcakes, bread, or anything you can think of. If you’re not a baker, try your hand at baking. Baking is science you can eat. There will always be a great reward at the end. 9. Start a hobby. YouTube is a great resource. You might be an expert by the end of the day. The plethora of things that you can learn is endless, so get to “YouTubing.” You might be a graduate of you tube university very soon. 10. Work on a vision board. Manifestations the life you envision. Seeing your goals and aspirations in front of you have a way of advancing them if you’re really focused on that. Plus it’s fun creating a collage or writing down your dreams, especially the ones that scare you. 11. Make hot cocoa or indulge in some coffee. Put your barista skills to work or just make something to keep your insides warm. 12. Have some intimate time. Cuddle, snuggle, or have sex. However you chose to convey your love to your partner if they happen to be home, enjoy it. 13. Drink some wine. Open a bottle of some good wine. Considering we’ve been confined to our homes, what better place to take a couple sips. 14. Call friends or family. No texting. Like a real conversation where you hear their voices. It’s just good to check on the people you love at this time. They can lie through texts, but their voices can give a truer picture. 15. Throw something in the slow cooker. and engage in another activity. Why waste time slaving over a stove if cooking is not your thing? Make a great soup with little effort. Done and done. 16. Invite a neighbor over for coffee or cocoa. If you have a great neighbor, invite him/her/them over and have some great conversation over a piping hot cup of something. It might turn out into something beautiful. 17. Delete the unnecessary photos in your phone for more space. Who has ever gone to take a photo and gotten the message of no more storage? I know I have. Why not clear that up and back up with a cloud service or flash drive, and capture more memories. 18. When the wind subsides, go sledding.Take the kids out sledding if you have any. If it’s just you, a partner or friends, still get out there. It’s so much fun to be a kid again. 19. Join a social group online. Meet people who share common interests. Maybe you’re missing human interaction or you want to learn a new skill. What better way than to interact with people who motivate you. 20. Create a home spa. Yes and yes to this. Take a nice long bath. Allow your body just release all the stress of the new year and really cleanse yourself of it. Add some candles or grab a good book. Just get in there and relax. I hope you make best of every snow day and welcome to a new month.