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Imagine planning a beautiful day with your children. You start by preparing an amazing breakfast of toasted ciabatta and sourdough bread with a light spread of butter, scrambled and sunny-side-up eggs topped with micro greens, and sliced avocados. You all enjoy our meal, get dressed, and head out to the local bowling alley. Shortly after starting your first game, a surging pain radiates from your left sciatic nerve causing sharp shooting pain down your leg. You push through only managing to land gutter balls, but you continue to give your children the fun and memorable day they asked for—the goal of every loving parent. You have lunch, bowl some more, and move the fun to the arcade. As you're heading to the car, your kids start bickering and it all turns to shit. One kid yells to the other, " Keep quiet " out of utter anger and frustration. This was me. Motherhood is not for the weak. It's even harder for those with chronic pain. What I thought was a beautiful time was ending disastrously. Not too long ago we were having fun, and shortly after, I was at my wit's end with two bickering children. For the last two hours, all I could hear and feel outside of my beating heart was the throbbing and unbearable pain on the left side of my lower back. Instead of our usual celebratory talk and high-fives at the end of a three-hour day of fun, I had to be the referee between my two girls. My older daughter opened the door to the back seat and the alarm went off for some reason, sending my younger daughter into a high-pitched screaming frenzy. The mix of noise and pain made me even more frustrated with the whole situation and I yelled from the driver's side, " Please stop it. " My little one began crying immediately, as I expected to. Guilt came over me. This was the last thing I wanted to do. She thought I was telling her to stop crying, which is not something I do. We acknowledge all feelings, as long as it does not violate physical boundaries and become emotionally abusive. Crying isn’t suppressed or dismissed. I had to quickly assure her that I wasn't telling her she had no reason to cry, but rather that they stop the bickering. We all got in the car and started making our way home instead of heading to the thrift store as we had planned earlier. I think we all just needed to rest. The ride back home was all of about seven minutes, but another argument erupted. I can't remember for the life of me what sparked the argument.… Oh, I do remember! I was looking for my glasses, and suspected I may have forgotten it at the bowling alley—I did forget it there. My younger daughter pointed out that she thinks her sister is wearing it since our glasses are the same rose color. I knew it wasn't, because mine is a different shape. I said to her that those belonged to her sister and that it wasn't mine. My older daughter then suddenly screamed out, " Stop pointing at me, " to her sister. I usually try to let them resolve things on their own, but after about the third time she screamed another ear-drum splitting "Stop pointing at me, " I had it up to my eyeballs and with a firmly elevated voice said, " Stop it now. " “The funny thing about children is that they are the reason we lose it and the reason we hold it together!” — Author Unknown At that point, I was simply praying to get to my bed, because of the pain in my lower back and down my left leg was worsening. I imagined my hand reaching between the driver and passenger seats to be the heavy hand I would sometimes feel as a kid on my skin when I did not follow directions. It was fleeting and mildly satisfying, but met with instant regret. I refuse to spank, beat, or inflict intentional pain on my children, so I resorted to what I know how to do best— talk . I instructed everyone to stop talking and to be respectful to each other. We all just needed to get home. They remained silent for only a few seconds before my older daughter began to vent her frustrations about her sister. She talked about how she tries to be a great big sister, but her little sister keeps making her mad. I told her I was sorry that she felt that way. We approached the parking lot and I backed into my spot. She vented some more, because that is one of the ways she processes her emotions. She kept talking on our way to our apartment and I felt every ounce of her frustration. I sympathized with her and let her know that I heard her. I reminded her that she is an awesome big sister and I do see her kindness to her sister. As a parent with a chronic illness, I am more emotionally attuned to the needs of my children as a way to compensate for the times when I am physically incapable of showing up. I simply do the best I can when I can. When we got inside our apartment, I took my coat and shoes off as soon as I stepped in, and walked straight into my bedroom. All I wanted to do was lie down. I had nothing to give at that point. I felt completely depleted, so I asked the girls to help themselves with their snacks . I couldn't be on my feet anymore. My body was not cooperating, so I had to navigate this tough day as I always do—with honesty. On my rough days, my girls are only given small responsibilities that they are capable of doing. They know that some days are better than others. I also try not to feel guilty about asking the girls for space and time to rest when I need it. Alex Padurariu/Unsplash Before I was able to fully retreat, we played one round of UNO on my bed. The game diffused all that tension and we were beginning to enjoy each other's company again. They segued into their assigned one hour of pad time, giving me ample time to rest. They were more than excited and it worked out perfectly. My head hit that pillow with a smile, because we all got what we needed, and we rode that emotional wave the best we all could. It turned out to be a beautiful day after all.

It's 5:20 a.m., and my alarm is ringing with the intensity of a steelpan orchestra. The annoying and brain-rattling sound did the job of waking me up for yet another day of work, mothering, and everything in between. I bring my upper body to a sitting position and place my feet down on the carpeted floor. I walk into my bathroom and turn the lights on. Greeting me was the hyperpigmentation and acne that tell a story of struggle from puberty to a woman in her early 40s. I smile at my sleepy face, from a place deeply rooted in gratitude and radical self-love. This is me accepting where I am and seeing the beauty in the whole person with no desire to pick myself apart. I remember the first time I realized I was competing in a race that I did not sign up for. It wasn't a particular day or instance, but the awareness started shortly after puberty. With my raging hormones came acne, something I am convinced I inherited from my paternal side of the family. There I was, panting, chasing, and adjusting to meet an ideal that never belonged to me in the first place. My starting line was being redrawn by the very same hormones that were preparing me for womanhood. It felt more like a setback that would sometimes send me into a downward spiral of unsafe skin care practices. I began to understand the hierarchy, the unspoken rules of who gets seen, who gets praised, and who gets chosen. I wanted to be chosen, but at what cost? Beauty is Never Just Beauty . It is currency, leverage, and identity; it is an ever-expanding checklist of products, treatments, and practices that transformed leisure into labor and self-worth into a transaction. My struggle was acne, and the world dangled a promise before me: if I kept up, if I kept spending, if I stayed vigilant, I could win the ultimate prize of poreless skin—the kind you saw on airbrushed models in beauty magazines. Yours may be something else. But what is the prize? And who was I trying to impress? The moment I quit wasn’t a singular event or a grand gesture of defiance. It was slow, like waking up from a dream and realizing I’d been running for too long without knowing why. I began to see how much of my time, energy, and money was being funneled into an industry designed to capitalize on my doubts. Every step forward was met with a new standard, a new flaw to correct, and a new treatment to undergo. The rules kept changing, the goalposts kept moving, and I was exhausted. I Started Questioning Everything . Was I buying this serum because I genuinely enjoyed using it, or because I had internalized the idea that my bare skin wasn’t good enough? The more I questioned, the clearer it became: I was being played. The beauty industry thrives on insecurity. It cultivates doubt and sells the illusion of control. If I could just fix this one thing—this line, this pore, this hair texture—then I would be happy. But happiness was always postponed, always just one more purchase away. Stepping out of this system wasn’t easy. It meant unlearning the deeply ingrained belief that I needed to optimize my appearance to be worthy. It meant facing the discomfort of feeling “unfinished” when I no longer adhered to the latest beauty standard. It meant navigating the subtle (and not-so-subtle) messages from media, advertising, and even friends and family who still played by the old rules. But with every step back, I reclaimed a part of myself. I started to notice how much freer I felt when I wasn’t calculating my value in terms of external validation. I found beauty in ways that had nothing to do with marketable aesthetics—beauty in stillness, in joy, in connection, in the rich complexity of being a human outside the bounds of a consumer-driven identity. And then Came the Financial Clarity . When I look back at the small fortune I funneled into this relentless pursuit, I am still in disbelief. The weekends spent in an aesthetician's office having my face poked, steamed, and massaged. As much as I enjoyed being pampered, I realized that I willingly surrendered so much of my money to an industry designed to keep me feeling inadequate. How much of my labor had gone into sustaining a system that commodified my very existence? What struck me most was how beauty culture had entered even the spaces meant for relaxation and self-expression. There was no such thing as a neutral activity anymore—every hobby, every leisure pursuit was now an opportunity for self-optimization. Skincare isn't just about hygiene; it is about achieving a glow that signifies youth, health, and desirability. Even simple acts like reading a book or drinking coffee had been transformed into aesthetic moments, meant to be performed rather than lived. I am not a Project . I started to wonder: what would my life look like if I stopped seeing myself as a project? If I allowed myself to simply exist without the pressure to be constantly improving, refining, and presenting? What if I valued my body not as an ornament but as a vessel for experience? What if I spent my money not on perfecting my image, but on things that genuinely enriched my life in ways that didn’t require external validation? For me it was easy, but I can't say that for everyone who feels the pull to put an end to this never-ending cycle. I still feel the occasional pull, to re-enter the race, moments where I second-guess my choices or where I catch myself calculating how I measure up against impossible ideals, but the difference is that I recognize the game for what it is. And I choose not to play. Embracing Authentic Beauty . Stepping away from beauty culture hasn’t made me indifferent to aesthetics or self-care. If anything, it has allowed me to engage with them in a way that feels more authentic and less performative. I still enjoy certain rituals, but they are now acts of pleasure, not obligation. I no longer feel the need to mold myself into these fleeting definitions of beauty. I embrace what suits my values and the lifestyle I want to lead. (Photo from Natasha Brazil/Unsplash)

Love is Blind Season 8 had me tearing up with Virginia and her mother as they shared a beautiful moment during the cast’s wedding dress fitting. I am happy I hung in there to get to this special moment, because this season was challenging and sometimes so frustrating to watch. First, there was Taylor who thought Daniel followed and unfollowed her on Instagram, giving the audience the impression that he may have known who she was the entire time. I am just glad that she did not let her mistake get in the way, because after seeing their parents and how they get along, I am happy they continued with the process. The absolute saddest was watching Lauren who supposedly had a "boyfriend" before coming on the show, fight to keep a relationship with a man who was never ready in the first place. I understood Dave's concerns, but he beat that dead horse to the point of a breakup. His heart wasn’t there yet, and with all that talk of his sister, I was starting to get tired. Oh well! But there I was sobbing with Virginia. The Netflix reality series, hosted by Vanessa and Nick Lachey was set in Minneapolis, Minnesota this season. The show follows a group of singles who go from dating in pods without seeing each other to a proposal and then a big reveal of their prospective partner. Four weeks later, they're walking down the aisle with each other and deciding the next steps in their future. These are high-stakes arranged marriages with a few tweaks to the not-so-novel concept. The show has had quite a few successful marriages and that keeps me watching. It also goes to show that when you're the right person for someone, they do not need five years of your life to figure out they want to marry you if that's what you both want. Well, after that beautiful moment, Virginia handed Devin the prenuptial agreement that I am so glad she was adamant about. To me, that seems like a very logical step for anyone who is going into marriage. No one plans for things to go awry, but if they do, each party has protections. The fact that people still have such negative views of prenuptial agreements in a society where fifty percent end in divorce and even higher in certain groups is baffling. So I say kudos to Virginia for standing on business and not allowing herself to be railroaded into backing out of requesting a prenuptial agreement. Her mama did not raise a fool. In true reality TV fashion, Netflix is leaving us in suspense for another week right at the point where the first couple is at the alter and the bride is asked if love is truly blind. I guess we all have to tune in on Friday to see how it all plays out, especially for Virginia and Devin. I can't wait. Are you looking forward to the season finale of Love is Blind ? (Photos from Netflix)

New York’s Capital District—home to Albany, Schenectady, Troy, and the surrounding areas—might not be the first place that comes to mind when you think of relocating. But if you’re looking for a place that balances city convenience with small-town charm, rich history with modern energy, and affordability with opportunity, this underrated region might just surprise you. I came across a post on Threads from someone wondering if the internet could get them excited about moving to Albany. As a relatively new transplant to the Capital Region myself, I’m still finding my way—but the internet delivered, as it always does, and got them hyped for the move. Seeing that inspired me to share my perspective, because the Capital Region has been exactly what I was looking for—a place that truly fits the lifestyle I’ve always wanted. Here are a few reasons why the Capital District is worth calling home: The Crossroads to the Northeast .The Capital District is well-connected by highways, Amtrak, and Albany International Airport, making weekend getaways or business trips a breeze. Want to visit NYC, Boston, or Montreal? They're 2.5 hours, 3 hours, and 3.5 hours respectively. In 40 minutes you’re in Vermont and Connecticut. I once drove through Vermont and Massachusetts in a little under one hour to pick up an amazing piece of furniture I bought on Facebook Marketplace . You also have the Adirondack within a 45-minute drive up north and 45 minutes south you’re in the Catskills. A Lower Cost of Living (Compared to NYC!) . New York City wore my paycheck down, so the Capital District was a more affordable alternative. Housing costs are significantly lower, and you get more space for your money—whether you’re looking for a charming historic home, a downtown apartment, or a quiet suburban neighborhood. Plus, everyday expenses like groceries and dining out won’t drain your wallet quite as fast. A Perfect Blend of City and Nature . This is the main reason I decided to move to the Capital Region. It is beyond what I could have ever imagined. The stunning autumn foliage, crisp winters for skiing, refreshing springs, and warm summers are perfection in every sense. You can enjoy the energy of downtown Troy, Saratoga, and Schenectady with all their amazing restaurants, and in a short drive be transported to amazing nature preserves and hiking trails. Outdoor Adventures at Your Doorstep . If you're looking to venture out beyond the preserves and shorter trails, you have easy access to stunning state parks and scenic waterways. Whether you’re hiking in Thacher State Park, Saratoga Spa State Park, or Moreau Lake State Park, kayaking on the Hudson or Mohawk Rivers, or escaping to the Adirondacks for a weekend, there’s no shortage of ways to enjoy the outdoors. From waterfalls to mountain trails to peaceful lakes, the region offers year-round adventures for every kind of explorer. You can immerse yourself in what the Capital Region has to offer. Nature Preserve Rich History and Architecture . If you love history, the Capital District is packed with it. Albany, one of the oldest cities in the U.S., boasts stunning 18th- and 19th-century architecture, including the breathtaking New York State Capitol building. Troy, once a booming industrial city, is now a haven for artists and entrepreneurs, with beautifully preserved brownstones and an old-world charm that’s hard to find elsewhere. A Hub for History and Museums . If you love museums and cultural experiences, the Capital District has plenty to explore. Albany is home to the New York State Museum, the oldest and largest state museum in the country, showcasing everything from local history to natural wonders. Albany, one of the oldest cities in the U.S., boasts stunning 18th- and 19th-century architecture, including the breathtaking New York State Capitol building. The Albany Institute of History & Art houses an incredible collection of Hudson River School paintings. It is also home to the USS Slater which offers a fascinating look at a fully restored WWII destroyer escort. Whether you're into art, history, or science, the Capital Region has a museum for you. New York State Capitol Museum A Thriving Arts and Food Scene . The area has a creative and cultural scene that often flies under the radar. Troy and Schenectady have incredible live music venues, independent theaters, and a strong community of artists. Albany hosts concerts, festivals, and a lively nightlife. And the food? From farm-to-table restaurants to legendary pizzerias and craft breweries, there’s no shortage of great eats. Plus, the Troy Farmers Market is one of the best in the state. A Thrifter's Paradise . The capitol district is synonymous with thrifting. It truly is a thrifter's paradise in every sense of the word. Since moving here, I have taken such delight in furniture thrifting. With so many options and such high quality vintage furniture, you can never go wrong. From Captain's Treasure in Clifton Park, Salvation Ary, Habitat ReStore, and my happy place, Facebook Marketplace, there will always be a treasure to find. Apartment Therapy If you’re looking for a place that offers opportunity, affordability, and a great quality of life, the Capital District of NY is worth considering. It’s a region where you can build a career, enjoy nature, and make a home. Have you lived in or visited the Capital District? What’s your favorite thing about it? Let’s chat in the comments!

I landed in New York City in my final year as a teenager. It wasn’t a planned transition, nor was it part of some grand vision I had for my life. My plan was simple: visit my mother, spend time in the city, and return home to my island in the sun. But plans change, and sometimes life has a way of redirecting us before we even realize what’s happening. New York was not unfamiliar to me. I had visited several times since the age of eleven, tagging along on summer trips, soaking in the towering buildings, and the fast-paced streets. But visiting a place and living in it are two vastly different experiences. I never imagined that I would stay, that I would build a life here, that this city of concrete and ambition would become my home. My mother had already made that choice a year before I arrived. She had spent years as part of the invisible labor in one of the more prominent hotels back home in the Caribbean. Then, in an abrupt decision, she left her job without notice and moved permanently to Brooklyn. She sent me the plane ticket she had promised—with the expectation that I would stay. And for a while, I didn’t think I would. I had just completed my A levels. My results weren’t terrible, but they weren’t what I had hoped for either. The idea of starting fresh in New York wasn’t something I had given much thought to, at least not seriously. Four months into my stay, I booked a ticket to return home. But as my departure date approached, my family members encouraged me to stay. New York, they said, had more opportunities. I listened, and I stayed. That decision set me on an unexpected but deeply formative journey—a lengthy career as a domestic worker. Finding My Place in the City . The first few years were a blur of short-term jobs. I worked with various families, often in temporary positions. The work was demanding, but it paid the bills. Then, in 2006, I applied for a position that would become my longest and most stable role. The job was with a family living in the Financial District of Manhattan. I remember getting off at the Brooklyn Bridge stop on the 4 train, walking to the building, and nervously announcing myself at the concierge desk. The family, an expectant couple in their third trimester, lived in a cozy one-bedroom apartment. They were warm and welcoming, and the interview went well. But ultimately, they decided to hire someone else—a candidate recommended by another family in the building. I moved on, taking other jobs, but a few months later, I received a call from the family. Their initial hire hadn’t worked out. They needed someone more engaging for their son. Was I still available? Without hesitation, I accepted. Not only did I need the job, but I was ready for something more permanent. I had worked in daycare centers and afterschool programs before, but I was exhausted by the chaotic environment. I longed for a role where I could give a child my undivided attention. The Work of Care . My responsibilities were straightforward but significant. I took their son to mommy-and-me programs, arranged playdates, prepared his meals, and did his laundry. I became his world outside of his parents. He was a delightful baby—blonde-haired, blue-eyed, with the chubbiest cheeks I had ever seen. He was always in the high percentile for height and weight, and as he grew, he became more energetic, more curious, and more demanding of my time and attention. About eighteen months later, another son joined the family. They kept me active, strengthened my core (quite literally), and filled my days with laughter and exhaustion in equal measure. While I focused on their care, their mother was building her career. There were days when I arrived at work and had no idea what part of the world she was in. She was ambitious, driven, and successful, and my role as her children's caregiver gave her the freedom to pursue those ambitions. For almost seven years, I was a constant presence in their home, a steady figure in their sons' lives, and an integral part of their daily routine. I was paid well for my work, which was not always the case for many domestic workers. I was fortunate in that regard. One day, I saw her on my television screen. Her career had placed her in the public eye for a long time, but this time, she was aligned with one of the most influential women. It was surreal—this woman whose children I had cared for, whose home I had spent years in, was on my screen. I was proud of her, but it also made me reflect on the unseen labor behind the success stories of so many women like her. The Invisible Workforce . I am one of the many Black women and women of color who have, in one way or another, contributed to the careers of women with means and access. We are the nannies, the housekeepers, the caregivers, the ones who ensure that their homes are in order, that their children are well cared for, and that they have the support they need to climb the ladders of success. Every time I see a Hollywood reporter ask a celebrity mom, "How do you do it all?" I cringe. The question itself ignores the reality of the hidden workforce behind the illusion of effortless success. It is a question rooted in privilege and ignorance, a question that disregards the labor of the women who made it possible for these high-achieving women to "do it all." The erasure of domestic workers is not new. It is woven into the fabric of societies that rely on our labor while refusing to acknowledge its value. It is a profession that has long been undervalued, underpaid, and overlooked. And yet, without us, many industries would not function as smoothly as they do. The very women who are celebrated for their achievements need the unseen labor of women like me, because the fact remains, they can't do it all alone . A Life Reimagined . When I think about my journey—from a teenager who planned only a brief visit to New York, to a domestic worker who spent years caring for the children of others—I see resilience. I see the sacrifices my mother made, the choices I had to make, and the unexpected paths that led me to where I am today. Would I have imagined this life for myself? No. But life is rarely what we plan. I built something here. I found purpose in the work I did, even if society often failed to recognize its worth. And while my story is my own, it is also the story of so many women who leave their homes, their countries, their dreams behind to build new lives in foreign cities, taking on roles that are essential but rarely acknowledged. We exist. We work. We matter. And our stories deserve to be told.

I recently stepped into my closet thinking it was time for a wardrobe refresh. I’m not one to chase trends—I naturally gravitate toward timeless pieces. I wasn’t looking for a dramatic overhaul, just a slow and intentional shift toward higher-quality essentials to replace what I already own. As I considered editing my wardrobe, my eyes landed on my wraps and scarves. That’s when it hit me—for most of this winter, I’ve been reaching for head wraps. Head coverings have been woven into my personal style for decades, but in that moment, I realized they weren’t just an accessory; they were the  missing piece. When I wear them, I feel elegant, beautiful, and completely at home in my skin. Headscarves: As Timeless as Style Itself . Across cultures and generations, headscarves have held deep significance. While they can be a simple fashion statement, they’ve also long served a practical purpose—protecting against the elements, especially for those with curly hair. For some, they carry religious or cultural meaning, symbolizing tradition, faith, or personal identity. Whether embraced or misunderstood, wearing a headscarf is an intimate, intentional choice. And for me, they’ve become a signature of my style. Here are seven of my favorite ways to wear a headscarf: Raamin Ka/Unsplash Loose Scarf . Casually draped over the head and shoulders for an effortlessly elegant look. Drape a lightweight or silky scarf over your head, letting the ends hang freely over your shoulders. Adjust the scarf so it loosely frames your face and cascades down your back. You can tuck one side behind your ear for a relaxed, modern feel. Et voilà. For a simple tutorial watch this video from YowItsFariin to 40 seconds. Christian Vierig/Getty Images Low Bun Wrap . You can never lose with a low bun. Perfect for a polished yet relaxed look. I love using a stretchy cotton fabric for this style because it prevents the fabric from slipping as the day goes by. Start by pulling your hair into a low bun at the nape of your neck. Fold a rectangular scarf into a wide band and place it over your head, covering your ears. Cross the ends at the back and wrap them around the bun before securing them with a knot. This look frames the face beautifully for a great finish. Gotham/GC Images Rosette Turban . The twisted floral knot at the crown for a chic and regal statement. Begin by wrapping a long scarf around your head, covering your hair completely. Twist both ends tightly and coil them into a spiral, forming a rosette at the top or side of your head. Tuck the loose ends underneath the wrap for a secure hold. Watch from the one minute to about two minute mark from Inno Manchidi . Yuna/MyIOU Classic Turban . A classic turban is sleek, timeless, and effortlessly chic. It is a great everyday look, but very sophisticated when paired with the right fabric and outfit. Start with a long scarf and place the middle section at the front of your head and tie in one knot. Open in a flattened position and wrap all the way around the head. As you come to the end of the fabric, find a slot to tuck the ends in. Repeat that step for the remaining loose piece of fabric from the other side. Watch Mishka for a step-by-step tutorial on a classic turban . @findingpaola/Instagram High Wrap . The high wrap is piled high for a bold and regal appearance. This is great for any hair length. Gather your hair into a high bun or use a volumizing cap for extra height. Place a long scarf at the nape of your neck and bring both ends to the front. Twist the ends together tightly, then wrap them around the base of your bun before tucking them in securely. Watch this video from Finding Paola for a full tutorial . For long hair check out this video from Mairaly from 3:12 to 3:55. Getty Images Bandana Style . This is a casual, vintage-inspired look that works for any occasion. Fold a square scarf into a triangle and place it over your head. Tie the two longest ends at the nape of your neck or under your chin for a classic finish. Adjust the front for a snug but comfortable fit, leaving a little volume for a softer look. This is truly one of the second most simple ways to wear a scarf. And what really beats a beautifully printed scarf for the spring and summer?! Chance Yeh/Getty Images for Hanley Mellon The Side Knot . This is a playful, asymmetrical take on the headscarf. Fold a rectangular scarf into a wide band and place it at the back of your head. Bring both ends to one side and tie them into a secure knot. Let the ends drape over your shoulder, or tuck them in for a sleek look. To achieve this look watch Tiffany for a great demonstration from 1:44 to the end of the video. Each of these styles brings its own charm, and I love experimenting with them depending on my mood or outfit. Do you wear headscarves? What’s your favorite way to style them? (Feature photo Tim Hunter/Newspix/Getty Images)

After what some may describe as a pretty brutal winter—I live in the northeast—most of us are ready to pack away the coats and everything that resembles the winter hibernation we've all endured. The start of spring means it’s a time to shake off the winter blues and welcome fresh starts, new energy, and all the little joys that come with spring. It’s also a time when Mother Nature does her most beautiful work of bringing everything to life. Whether you’re looking for a meaningful way to embrace the season or just want to soak up the magic of spring by yourself or with loved ones, here are five simple and beautiful ways to celebrate the Spring Equinox. Watch the Sunrise and Set an Intention . The Spring Equinox is all about balance, making it the perfect time to reflect and realign. Wake up early to watch the sunrise, breathing in the fresh energy of a new season. As the golden light washes over the horizon, take a moment to set an intention for the months ahead. What do you want to cultivate? What parts of yourself are ready to bloom? Write it down, speak it aloud, or simply hold it in your heart. Refresh Your Space with a Spring Reset (A Mini One) . Spring cleaning isn’t just about tidying up—it’s a ritual of renewal. Open your windows, let the crisp air flow through your home, and clear out anything that no longer serves you. Swap out heavy winter textures for lighter fabrics, bring in fresh flowers, and declutter your space to make room for new energy. A simple shift in your surroundings can work wonders for your mindset. Spend Time in Nature . Nothing welcomes spring quite like stepping outside and feeling the earth come back to life. Take a walk through a park, sit beneath a blooming tree, or plant something new in your garden. If possible, go barefoot on the grass and reconnect with the earth. The equinox is a time to tune into nature’s rhythms—observe the budding trees, listen to the birds, and soak in the beauty of the changing season. Create a Seasonal Feast . Celebrate spring’s abundance by preparing a meal inspired by the season. Think fresh greens, citrus fruits, honey, and herbs. A simple spring salad, a warm cup of chamomile tea, or a fruit-filled dessert can be a delicious way to honor the shift in energy. If you can, eat outside and savor the flavors with gratitude. Light a Candle to Welcome the Light . The Spring Solstice represents the return of warmth and longer days. Honor this transition by lighting a candle at sunset as a symbolic gesture of welcoming the light. As you do, reflect on what you want to illuminate in your own life—whether it’s creativity, self-love, or a new adventure. KBL Sungkid/Adobe Stock The Spring Equinox is a reminder that life moves in cycles, and each season carries its own wisdom. By celebrating this time with intention, you align yourself with nature’s flow—embracing growth, renewal, and the beauty of new beginnings. How do you like to welcome spring? Let me know in the comments! (Feature photo by Munnangi Rushikanth/Vecteezy)

Over the summer, I wrote about letting my 9-year-old join a fourth-grade group chat . It wasn’t an easy decision—I had to think it through. Fast forward a few months, and now her name is just sitting in the group, but she never initiates a conversation. I check the chat every couple of days, and sometimes she’ll show me something funny or complain about that one kid who keeps spamming the group with the same photo. For the most part, she’s pretty inactive, and honestly, I’m kind of relieved. When the Group Chat Turned Sour . My daughter was so excited to keep in touch with her friends over the summer, especially as a rising fourth-grader. But only a few weeks in, the friendly chat turned sour. One day, she called me into her room to show me a message where a girl posted a picture of another student and cruelly labeled her “ugly.” My daughter was horrified. She knew that this was unacceptable behavior and was torn. She loved being part of the group, but that comment lingered with her. Unfortunately, the behavior didn’t stop with one hurtful message. The girl, along with her cousin, continued to make others feel unwelcome, creating an environment of exclusion and downright unkindness. I explained to her that she had a few options: she could ignore it, leave the group, or set an example for kindness. She chose the brave route, telling the group they were all there to be friends. I admired her courage. The Pain of Speaking Out . But the courage my daughter showed didn’t lead to the outcome she’d hoped for. A few days later, the same former classmate turned on her cousin by making a harsh statement. My daughter, ever empathetic, messaged the cousin to offer support: “I’m sorry she said that to you.” As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. Shortly after, her former classmate kicked her out of the group. As soon as she realized it, she began to cry. All I could do was hold her. She cried her little eyes out in my arms, and we just lay there together. Once she was ready to talk, I told her she did nothing wrong and I reassured her that her actions were kind. I explained that this wasn’t a reflection of her, but rather of the former classmate. I reminded her that these things take time to heal. I was there to support her through the anger, sadness and feelings of rejection. The Startling Reality of Kids’ Digital Drama . We later discovered that the former classmate who blocked my daughter also blocked another friend from the group. She endured something even more distressing—a threat to have the police sent to her house. When I discovered this, I was shaken by how quickly the group chat had escalated into something potentially dangerous. It was really disheartening and I was beyond shocked when this was revealed to my daughter. I struggled with whether I should reach out to the parent. Ultimately, I decided against it, allowing my daughter to navigate this challenging social dynamic with my guidance. Finding Support and Building Resilience .Fortunately, the two of them found comfort in each other as they shared their experience. I could see her relief as she realized she wasn’t the only one affected by the toxic behavior. Together, they leaned on each other, and I watched her discover the true value of supportive, positive friendships. In that moment, I saw her start to appreciate the profound nurturing that friendship offers. Thankfully, a few friends started a new group chat, this time creating a space that felt safe and supportive. The warmth of her classmates was so comforting. She appreciated the support of her classmates who knew what happened. Out of a truly horrible situation, my sweet girl was able to bond with friends who understood the meaning of kindness. Their support helped her rebuild her confidence. Today, they remain close, and she has learned a lasting lesson about the types of friendships that truly matter. Reflecting on a Hard but Important Lesson . Looking back, I recognize the weight of my decision to let her join the chat in the first place. Part of me wonders if things would have been different had I held her back, but I also believe this was a lesson she needed. She faced exclusion and unkindness, but she also learned resilience, empathy, and the significance of standing up for what’s right. Watching her grow through this experience, I’m grateful for the strength and kindness she’s shown, and I’m proud of the friends who have embraced those values alongside her.

As we head into NYE, I want to thank you for continuing to read my posts as I keep rolling them out. I finally took my writing more seriously and I was able to draw you in, my amazing readers. There is so much to come in the new year, but I am so happy to have made it so far. I am now rounding up the most read posts of 2024. In Wellbeing , post election feelings in America, Explain Yourself: We Need to Talk , my lived chronic illness experience in Chronic Illnesses: When Sticking to a Routine Gets Hard and a weekend sign-off Have a Weekend of Laughter made it to the top. In Motherhood , the congrats to 5 Unexpected Parenting Lessons I Learned from Being a Babysitter in NYC, Keep it on: Why Children Should Listen to the Radio for the parents looking to expand musical genre knowledge in their kids and Conversations with Kids: Not Because I Have to . In Relationships , I wrote about my neighbor Chuck in A Friend in Waiting: Getting to Know My Neighbor . This was my effort to throw caution to the wind and create community with the people around me. We also have my My New York City Hall Wedding from 2012 and 21 Questions: Get to Know me . In Adventure , the posts No Summer Camp? Now What? , Our Montréal Trip: A Full Recap to see one of my best friends and Saratoga Springs: Rich History and Natural Beauty . In Food , you read the Crispy and Flavorful Fried Chicken with Noodles , The Best Chicken if you Follow these Rules and Pressure Cooker Mashed Potatoes and Beef Stew recipes, which I hope you all tried. In Decor , Analysis Paralysis and Wall Decor: Overcoming Decision Fatigue took the cake along with What I Found, How I Styled: Thrifting Edition and Entryway Elegance: Choosing between Mirror and Artwork . In Style , one of my favorites to write Confidence, Choice and Love: My Hair, My Business , 4 Easy Hairstyles for Black Kids that Last the School Week and Chic or Not: Creativity, Confidence and Black Culture in Fashion round off all the selections. Thank you for being here! I hope to see more of you in 2025. Happy New Year and see you back here in January.

"Today, I barely survived. It felt like a horror film where I was being dragged into a dark abyss. I wanted to go Viola Davis on the fam, grab my purse and walk out. I nearly tapped out of this house." These are the words I wrote recently on an Instagram post. I did not think this would be the starting point for discussing parenting struggles, but I think this best describes how so many feel at some point in their parenting journey. Motherhood is beautiful, but it can also be messy. I am so glad every time I see videos where women speak authentically about their parenting struggles. I think about the many moms who sometimes feel they want to tap out of their families, no matter how much we love them. So many great mothers wake up every day with the intention of giving their best to their children only to realize that despite their best efforts, some days just suck. At the end of it all, we just have to keep giving our best, because that is really all we can do. Parenting is not for the faint and you will never get it right all the time, so be ready to get it wrong sometimes. To those of us surviving parenthood and need some answers, let's discover some ways we can keep trying. For when the kiddos just won't listen Even the best children can have their worst day, and I say, hold on for dear life. Whether we're talking about trying to get the kid(s) out the door, telling your child for the fourth time to take her socks off the living room floor, or just requesting personal space so you won't be touched out, there are moments when your kids just don’t or won’t listen. It is the nature of motherhood. Despite my vast experience as a babysitter/nanny, some days I am still dumbfounded by the things my children do. Recently, I just had to ask one of my daughters to please step away from me, because her behavior at that moment was just unacceptable and I found myself repeating things over and over (worst mistake ever). When I felt like I was about to lose it, she had to come back with a snarky response. At that point, I directed her to her father and walked into my room. I asked Google for solutions to my problem. Yes, I was asking Google for directions to that place on the internet where successful moms reside with alternative solutions, because that's where I was at. In addition, I remembered another strategy from being a substitute teacher. It always got the kids' attention. Online Solution: If you hear me, touch your nose. (continue by naming a different body part each time until they show they're listening). My solution: I say: 1,2,3 eyes on me. They say: 1, 2 eyes on you. So now I have two solutions that I plan to implement. Both methods, I believe, will prevent you the parent from snapping at your kid(s), give you some time to think, and allow you to convey your initial request thoughtfully and concisely. For when your child is being resistant. I have a nine-year-old and a seven-year-old, and personality-wise, they couldn't be more different from each other, yet maintain some behaviors that make me question whether I am parenting one child. My second child who started extremely introverted, is now a strong-willed, critical thinker, who is both witty and funny. She hates being rushed to accomplish anything, so her resistance tends to be easier to solve. I back off showing remorse for my actions and correct my behavior. My nine year old on the other hand is at the developmental stage of preadolescence. I can see the pushback coming from a place of desiring more autonomy, which is expected for a child her age. I have very clear house rules, expectations, and structure, but I also need to recognize that my parenting style has to match her developmental stage. I may just not be hitting the mark sometimes. Resistant behavior tends to occur when children want to avoid a task, gain attention, and even gain power by trying to irritate you. Beyond these simple explanations for non-compliant behavior, it is crucial to assess the environmental changes that may be contributing to the changes in your child's behavior. Things like relocating, the death of a loved one, starting a new school, and any change in the dynamics of their home life. These factors all have an impact on children and the ways they cope with these changes. For resistant children, there are two things I try to avoid: Power struggles: Avoid going back and forth or over-explaining your stance. All it does is incite more anger and resistance. Boy have I made that mistake, but I am learning. Overreacting: Try to stay calm (and trust me, I know how difficult that can be sometimes), because it gnaws away at the relationship between you and your child. At times it may be hard not to, but find ways to calm yourself in that moment, because reacting may be more disastrous than you think. What you can do to help you avert many negative situations is: Praise your child for the things they do well: I pay attention to my children's actions, so when I see great behavior being displayed, I will point it out to my kids immediately. There are so many times I have told my daughters, "I really like how you handled that situation" by repeating what was said and how effective it was responding in the manner that they did. You can see the joy in their eyes. Collaborate with your child: I can't tell you the number of times I have asked my children for advice on how they think I should address their resistance. In those moments, I see all of us calming down and taking moments to speak our hearts and come up with solutions. They feel empowered rather than being dominated, which is never my goal. For those big emotional moments Being a parent can take a toll. There are the day-to-day emotional interactions that barely cause a dent, and with the right response, they can be great bonding moments. But there are days you can barely regulate your own emotions due to a host of issues, and you have to do your best to help a sometimes dysregulated little human find a sense of calm. It is on those days, it can feel like the world is conspiring against your joy, and mothering can take a toll on your mental health. This is why I appreciate women who know in their hearts that they are not meant for the calling of motherhood and stand firmly in their decisions. So on the days when everyone is caught up in their feelings, all I try to do is avoid making the day a complete disaster. I tell my girls when they're yelling out into the universe "My day is ruined," that they're having a tough moment; there is still time to turn it around. We always do, even though it sometimes takes us a little longer to get there. As the adults who have to lead by example (but sometimes fails epically), I say absent of any physical, emotional, or psychological abuse to your child, show yourself some grace. I recommend: Removing yourself from the situation: When an environment gets extremely stressful and you feel overwhelmed, start by creating distance if you can. Breathe: Take that time to acknowledge how you feel, do some deep breathing and refocus your energy on something more positive. Decide whether you want to be happy or right: In that moment, I also decide before heading back out making sure that my language does not assign blame, but rather a path to bringing us closer together. Apologize if necessary: If feelings were hurt before your exit, come back ready to apologize. This can be the olive branch to begin the conversation, especially with kids who can talk. Be ready to listen: This is the time for open dialogue. Talk to your child while connecting from a place of the heart. Allow your child to be heard. Seek comfort from a trusted individual: Whether it's your partner, a friend or a therapist, reach out to someone you can talk to if you need further support. Continue to show yourself grace and compassion: We all have rough moments. Don't beat yourself up. You can turn this around. So, keep trying, keep laughing, and embrace the wonderful chaos that is parenting. Because at the end of the day, the art of trying is what truly makes us superheroes in the eyes of our children. Celebrate the messiness, the laughter, and the endless love that comes with being a parent. Because in the grand scheme of things, the art of trying is what truly defines us as parents – imperfectly perfect and beautifully chaotic. Now go forth, fellow parents, and conquer the world!