Search

I started my first semester as an online master of social work (MSW) student this fall and it is coming to a close. As I reflect on the last few months, I question how I survived classes, internship, assignments and motherhood without thinking once about quitting. Trying to stay present in class while someone creeps in my room because they needed their fiftieth hug today, another person asks what’s for dinner, and my eight year old demands that I do snuggle time every time is not what I envisioned being here. Add a forty-five-minute commute to a four-day-a-week internship, and suddenly I’ve unlocked expert-level multitasking I never asked for. Here are the survival strategies I try to adhere to, to keep me from dissolving into a pile of overdue readings. 1. Prioritize My Mental Health Over Everything Grad school tries to convince you everything hinges on discussion boards and APA citations. Kids try to convince you that sleep is optional. I am not the best at it yet, but I know the only way I survive is by treating my mental health like Beyoncé : always the headliner, never the opening act. Rest? Required. Boundaries? Installed. 2. Keep My Professors in the Loop—Especially With Chronic Illness Listen, if something is flaring, failing, or falling apart, I do my best to email my professors faster than my eight year old can ask me about the extinction of the wooly mammoth as soon as she gets up in the morning. Most professors are surprisingly cool once they know what's up. Transparency saves me from stress—and retaking a class I absolutely do not have time to retake. 3. Keep a Hobby (AKA My One Secret to Not Losing My Mind) A hobby reminds me I am not JUST “Mom,” “Student,” or “Intern.” Whether it’s crafting, painting, baking, or aggressively scrolling TikTok for 12 minutes of peace, anything that brings me joy gets protected. 4. Maintain My Social Circle Yes, my social circle has always been small, but tight. They know me on a deep level, like “I haven’t slept in three days but here’s a meme to keep you going” deep. A quick group chat check-in or a voice note saying “I’M ALIVE” keeps us all in tune. 5. Go to Therapy As an MSW student, going to therapy is both self-care and “continuing education.” It’s where I go to unpack mom guilt, school successes and shortcomings, and get a tune up. My therapist is as cool as pie and she deserves an honorary degree. There isn’t much drama in my life, and I always serve it with a side of insight and humor. The only time I plan on us parting is if the insurance runs out. 6. Get as Organized as You Can (Which Is… Moderately?) My digital calendar is a color-coded masterpiece, but it took a while for me to get there. I still can’t seem to take my medication even with three alarms, but I will keep striving to perfect this. Having calendars, reminders, and a system for remembering who needs to be where and when keeps me from mixing up my kid’s dentist appointment with my clinical supervisor meeting. 7. Learn to Skim (A MOM SUPERPOWER) There is NO universe in which I’m reading every assigned chapter. I am learning to skim like an Olympic athlete. I skim like my GPA depends on it,because honestly, it does. If anyone asks, yes, I “absorbed the key themes” and “engaged critically with the material.” Grad school as a mom is a bit messy, sometimes chaotic, and somehow still incredibly rewarding. Every day I survive is another day closer to that MSW and a future where my children can say, “Wow, Mom really did THAT.” If you’re out here juggling kids, classes, and commutes: you’re not alone, you’re not failing, and you’re doing a frankly heroic job. Now go drink some water and get a snack.

Potatoes are a staple in my home. Russet, gold, sweet, yellow, white, red or purple, it doesn’t matter. Prepare it baked, roasted, mashed, fried, au gratin or scalloped, but my favorite way to prepare potatoes is in a salad. Here is my favorite and most beloved potato salad. Creamy Roast Potato Salad You’ll need: diced potatoes oil paprika salt black pepper eggs thinly sliced variations of cabbage diced pickles diced parsley sweet peppers diced pickles mayonnaise Coat the diced potatoes with oil, paprika, salt and black pepper. Cook until the skin has browned. Place the diced eggs, sweet peppers, the thinly sliced cabbage, diced parsley and diced pickles in a mixing bowl. Add the cooled potatoes followed by mayonnaise and mix. Enjoy.

Today marked the end of my first semester as an online Master of Social Work (MSW) student in her forties. The level of relief, yet optimism that I feel is inexplicable. This semester challenged me in ways that I did not anticipate. I am a possibly perimenopausal mother of two young children under eleven, who is battling several chronic illness. At several points in the semester, the pain in my body was so challenging that I briefly contemplated moving to an internship that was closer to home. Thankfully, I decided to stay where I was and I am so proud of myself for making that decision. I am celebrating today with one semester down and a few more to go.   When I started this journey, I made it a point to document my experiences in a series of TikTok videos. The goal was to open myself to making connections with people in a similar stage of life—older and making a career change in the helping industry. Boy, was I surprised to see the massive community that welcomed me with open arms and so much support. I have gotten to meet and follow many amazing people, primarily women, who are pursuing a goal deferred or realized at forty an above. It feels so comforting to see so many of us being represented in this profession and encouraging each other in a way that advances what we do.   At school I got to meet people whose experiences are vast, granular, and distinct in ways that enriches the industry of social work from a personal and professional lens. We all bring something special to the field of social work making us invaluable and I love it. I got to know my classmates and my work colleagues through their lived experiences that they so willingly and openly shared. I have formed relationships with people who prioritize the wellbeing of others and contribute so much to making our society better.   Social work forces you to delve into the unhealed parts of yourself—especially the parts that have been suppressed as a means of survival. I cannot begin to tell you the number of times that a discussion or reading forced me to reflect on my past experiences. I was able to see it all from a new perspective and connect the dots to social issues that I am passionate about. This semester increased my empathy even more, a trait I already consider to be my superpower. I love it here, and I look forward to continuing this journey.   As I go into the weekend, I want to focus on rest and self-care to recover, regenerate and prepare me for the upcoming semester. I wish you all a weekend of rest, especially for the scholars who are out there making dreams come true while taking care of their community.   If you would like to learn more about my journey throughout the past semester and future semesters, join me at TikTok. What are your plans for the weekend?

A crochet Christmas star garland is a timeless decoration that brings handmade charm and cozy elegance to your holiday décor. Delicate yet festive, crocheted stars can be customized in size, color, and texture, making them perfect for mantels, windows, staircases, or even as a Christmas tree accent. Best of all, this project is beginner-friendly and works up quickly. You’ll Need To get started, gather the following supplies: Yarn (cotton or acrylic works well; white, gold, silver, or festive colors are popular) Crochet hook (size recommended on your yarn label, usually 3.5–5 mm) Scissors Yarn needle String, twine, or extra yarn for assembling the garland Step 1: Choose Your Star Pattern Select a simple crochet star pattern . Five-point stars made in the round are ideal for garlands because they’re lightweight and lie flat. Beginners should look for patterns using basic stitches such as chain, slip stitch, single crochet, and double crochet. More experienced crocheters may enjoy textured or layered star designs. Step 2: Crochet the Stars Work each star individually, following your chosen pattern. For a cohesive look, use the same yarn color throughout, or mix colors for a playful, festive effect. Aim for 8–15 stars depending on how long you want your garland to be. Step 3: Weave in Ends and Block (Optional) Once your stars are finished, weave in all loose ends using a yarn needle. For crisp points and a polished finish, lightly block your stars. Simply dampen them, shape the points, and let them dry flat. Blocking helps the stars hold their shape beautifully. Step 4: Assemble the Garland Lay your stars out in the order you want. Attach them to a length of yarn, twine, or ribbon by sewing them on, tying them in place, or crocheting them directly onto a long chain. Leave a little space between each star so they stand out individually. Step 5: Add Decorative Details (Optional) Enhance your garland with small embellishments: Sew beads or buttons into the center of each star Use metallic thread for edging Add tassels or tiny bells between stars for extra holiday charm Step 6: Display Your Garland Hang your crochet Christmas star garland wherever it will shine. Popular spots include mantels, door frames, windows, shelves, or wrapped gently around a banister. You can also drape it across a wall or use shorter versions as table or tree décor. A Handmade Holiday Tradition A crochet Christmas star garland is more than just a decoration, it’s a piece of holiday tradition made stitch by stitch. Whether you crochet it for your own home or gift it to someone special, it’s a heartfelt way to celebrate the season and showcase the beauty of handmade décor. Happy crocheting and happy holidays!

Originally published:01/02/2021 Revised: 4/28/2025 We made it through the first Monday of 2021. I am so grateful to have made it out of 2020, even though I’m still dizzy from the whiplash that entire year gave me. For that reason, I feel I am due for a proper introduction. I have blogged in some capacity since 2019, but officially as The Tidy Habit in 2022 and later to Aubre in Between in 2025, which reflects more of who I am as a writer. I’m happy you decided to read my posts, and I hope you stick around to get to know me. The future looks promising, so get to know more about me, the one-woman brain behind Aubre in Between. 1. Where did you grow up? I grew up in St. Lucia . 2. Where do you currently live? I live in Brooklyn, New York. I’ve lived here since I moved to the U.S.A. Update: I relocated to the Capital Region of NY a few years ago. 3. What do you enjoy most about living in NYC? Access to everything without having a car. There is so much adventure here and always something to do. Update: Upstate NY? Being in nature and the access to it. It is the slower pace of life which resembles something closer to my childhood. 4. What inspired you to start your blog? My blog was born out of a journey to wellness and becoming my best self. In 2019, I was struggling to maintain all my roles, especially being a wife, mother, and student, so I sought out the help of a therapist. Writing has always been cathartic for me, so after therapy was complete, I thought blogging would be a great way to share personal stories, and provide tips on mindful living, wellness, and personal development. 5. Your personality type? Based on the Jung Typology Test, I’m an INFJ. I’m an introverted empath and a highly sensitive person. I’m moderately sociable, and I genuinely care about others and their well-being, but I get drained by people easily. I enjoy lots of quiet time and my dream is to work from home in my area of expertise. 6. What did you study in college? Psychology with a concentration in industrial/organizational psychology. 7. Any pets? No. I don’t like the idea of pets in my apartment. I wouldn’t mind a dog in a larger space, but I have one child who is terrified and the other is slightly allergic, so we can’t have one. 8. Your favorite color? All neutral tones, but primarily gray. 9. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be? It would have to be France. It could be the city or the countryside, but I would prefer somewhere in between. I love the French approach to life, work, and the language. I may find it a little easier to learn the language since I can read and write a bit in French. 10. Three TV shows you love? Monk, Psych, and Gilmore Girls. 11. Best movie you have seen recently? Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. 12. Best time of day? Sunset. I’m not a morning person and sunsets are just beautiful. 13. Favorite genre of music? 90s and early 2000s R&B. 14. What is your favorite kind of cuisine? Thai food is the ultimate for me, but I love South Asian cuisine in general. The spices, the heat, the complexity. I love it all, especially ramen. 15. What is your dream car? A Jeep Wrangler. They’re small and compact but they last a long time. They adapt to most terrains. It is kind of me in a car. Lol. Update: A Subaru. I have gotten out of the Jeep stage even though they’re still very attractive to me. 16. What are your biggest fears in life? Failure, mice, and roaches. 17. What was your dream job when you were a teenager? A psychologist. 18. What is your favorite sweet treat? Tiramisu. It’s delicate and not too sweet. 19. What are your top 3 hobbies? Eating, cooking, and creating arts and crafts. 20. What do you do for self-care consistently? I am not the best when it comes to self-care, but even as someone who was staunchly against baths, it has been one of the few things that soothe me. So for now baths do it for me. 21. Name three things you admire about yourself. I am empathetic, I can connect with people deeply to the point where they’re spilling out their life stories shortly after meeting me, and my tenacity.

As the number of divorces surge in the New Year, there will be more men and women seeking healing. In honor of National Divorce Day on January 4, I have invited a woman on this journey to contribute. This is one woman’s story in her own words. "Divorced?!! No way?" “I would never believe that you two would ever break up.” “What did he do? What happened? Why couldn't you guys work it out, at least for the kids?" These were the multitude of questions that were asked the day that I announced my divorce to family and friends. They were in disbelief and some had the "I told you so" looks and answers. Why? Because of the front that was placed whilst inside a storm that was brewing. The number of times that I had to justify my reason for divorcing. The emotional journey that I endured, molded me into a much stronger person, a divorcee, a mother, a woman. Many women before us fought for the rights to be able to end a marriage, but for some reason, there's still that stigma that comes with being a divorced woman. Then add in the kids and all of a sudden, you're in the very "undesirable" or over desirable (milf) groups . The day that I handed in my divorced papers was March 8th, Women's Day. I wasn't aware of the significance of the day until I placed it in my calendar. I had a sense of accomplishment overwhelm me and I thanked these brave women. I contemplated long and hard before I drew up the papers. My own questions barraged my daily thoughts and I feared the next steps of my life; unemployed, some savings and midway into my masters degree. I needed to breathe. There were days of countless arguments, there were days that I felt great about my decision and there were days where I couldn't crawl out of my fetal position from the floor in a pool of tears. I asked that my spouse leave. I had to reconcile my emotions. I wanted to think that I'm a good person, that I can forgive and forget the tumultuous road that I faced—the lies, the cheating, the abusive behaviors, until that one day I had to acknowledge the polar opposite of love, HATE. After a 16 hour shift, heading to my internship, running in the rain with no umbrella, aching bunions, missing my kids that I had to send away, whilst I pursued an education for a better income, seeing the bus about to approach the stop and I know I couldn't run anymore. I stopped dead in my tracks and realized that I am capable of hate. I was so in love, learned to love this man from childhood, did everything for him and our family, how could I possibly hate? Then I remember the saying that there's a thin line betwixt those two. I don't know when I crossed it—the same way you don't realize that you're falling in love but I was there. You don't want to speak about it; I mean what a horrible thing to feel right? Whatever shall I do with that emotion? It was eating me up and I refused to acknowledge the existence of it. That day, in the brightest pink jacket getting soaked through, I allowed hate to run through me, to feel the rage course through my veins, to feel the anger burning in my soul and let the tears burst, as the dark clouds above. That was the day that I knew that I couldn't go back and that the decision to leave this marriage was not only best for me but right for my children. We don't talk about these negative emotions, it's shunned upon to even think that it can possess us. You must be happy that this marriage is over, they say. Indeed you are but you must deal with every aspect of the mental collapse that comes with it, as well as the rising of a beautiful phoenix that must emerge after. Throughout my divorce, I had to be upfront with myself about every emotion that I had, in order to heal and move to a place of peace. That's the only way. I learnt fear, anxiety, grief, hatred, anger but I also learnt how to be brave, how to cry for cleansing, to be calm. I gained a deeper love of myself and believe it or not-my former husband, for giving me those life lessons. I am divorced. I am a woman and in my best Katy Perry imitation, "you're gonna hear me roar!" Share your own experiences! We would love to hear.

This week was a tough one. After the nation watched the events that unfolded on Capitol Hill, I think a lot of us feel further trauma of being reminded on a national level that some lives possess more value than others. I digress. Right now, I would like to be somewhere in the mountains or in a quiet town to just decompress and to center my spirit. Unfortunately, since so many of the activities that I would like to engage in with my girls are closed, I am going to stay local and take some time to engage in these five activities. Take warm baths. Nothing feels better and more soothing than hot water surrounding my skin. Lately, I’ve found baths to be the best thing for my fibromyalgia and my mind, so I am going to carve out time every night this weekend to take a bath with candlelights and maybe some wine. Catch up on my reading. I am going to try to get through as much of Tonya Sonya Renee’s The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. As I am on a journey of radical self love and not merely a compromising self-acceptance, I look forward to catching up on Miss Taylor has to teach. We all could use the boldness of authentic self-love. Journaling. I haven’t journaled in a while, but whatever I have lost in my own personal journal has been invested into Breathe by Bre. I want to get back to journaling again. There is a beautiful sense of release that journaling gives me. I want to lay it out there with pen and paper, rather than ruminate on things that simply live in my mind for free. Catching Up on TV Shows. I will be stuck catching up on the fourth time rewatching Monk , which to me is the all time best detective show ever. Murder mystery is my thing, so while I take care of all my household chores I watch to my heart’s content. That’s about the only time that I can watch or rather listen to any TV shows. 90 Day Fiancé has also become a new favorite and I plan on watching all the spin-offs. Sleep. I look forward to catching up on some well needed sleep this weekend and let others take on the responsibility of childcare for a change. Let’s see if I succeed. I want to give myself the gift of sleep and float away. So, what are your plans this weekend?

"Blood is thicker than water,” or so they say. The idea that family sticks through thick and thin should be in context and not applied with a broad brush. The expectation that you keep people around simply because you come from the same blood line in unrealistic and quite frankly traumatizing in some circumstances. As someone who has personally experienced the damage that a toxic family member can bring into your personal space, I know it is extremely devastating. I don’t take lightly the decision to have to completely detach from toxic family members, but there comes a point when enough is enough. 1. When they are abusive Abuse can come in many forms including physically, sexually, emotionally and psychologically. Having to endure any of this type of abuse is life altering and can leave so many scarred, requiring years of healing from the trauma. This is an utter violation and that should not be tolerated. Even if you may not be able to physically get away from the abuse in some circumstances, start by emotionally detaching. 2. When they repeatedly attack your reputation Every time you step out into this world, you are an ambassadors for yourself, and nothing is more devastating than having a family member actively work on destroying that. When this happens, you may feel tempted to question what you may have done to warrant such an attack, but most of the time, it really has nothing to do with with you. When the behavior happens repeatedly, it is time to severe ties, because it shows a complete lack or respect. You don’t need that. 3. When their gossip affects your livelihood It is one thing to tolerate gossip from a wagging tongue, but it is another when what was said affects your ability to take care of yourself or your family. Whether you’re an employee or a business owner, words are powerful and can have a truly devastating effect. This is when you exit stage left. 4. When they don’t respect the boundaries you’ve set You’ve taken the time to address your family member. You’ve expressed that their actions are a violation and going forward, they cannot behave in such a manner, but yet still, here you are again. A second time and a third time. How many more opportunities are you supposed to give someone to redeem themselves? Before they destroy you, protect yourself and your peace. 5. When being in their presence causes anxiety If all you try to do is avoid any kind of interaction with a family member whose mere presence either makes you shudder or send you into a rage, it’s time to move on. At this point, it is best to ask to not be invited to family gatherings if this individual is present. You may be sacrificing communication with other family members who do not understand your actions, but it is not meant for them to understand. This is meant to preserve yourself and there is never anything wrong with that. 6. When they attack your children For some toxic family, it doesn’t stop there. They explore the possibility of also attempting to wreak the same havoc to your children. It’s one thing to attack a solitary adult, but to now spew this toxic behavior to innocent children is beyond reprehensible. Children are not target practice for people who cannot control their actions or words. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your child at all cost from any further abuse, especially if they are old enough to understand what is happening. Let it be a teachable moment. Always protect your peace, your joy and your happiness. You can now be free create a family of wonderful, nurturing people who we deem as great friends. Go on into the new year and be happy. Share some of your experiences about having to cut off toxic family.

Some things are better left unsaid, but it seems that for people with chronic illnesses, we hear a lot. Statistics show 6 in 10 adults in the US have a chronic disease . That is more than half the adult population, yet so many people are not well informed about chronic or invisible illnesses. When interacting with people who do not have a chronic illness, some of the statements may be well-intentioned, but the delivery is so poor, it creates a barrier. It is important then to look at some of this language and really try to see where that comes from. There is a need for more mindfulness and empathy when it comes to those afflicted with a chronic illness. Here are 5 examples of the kinds of interactions that happen frequently to people with invisible illnesses, and how the conversation can be turned around to show more empathy. 1. “I think it’s all in your mind.” What we hear: “You need a psychologist or psychiatrist." I am a staunch advocate for therapy, but when chronic illness flares happen, it’s not in our heads. Having someone say that makes you question whether it may be in your head. It took me almost 13 years to get diagnosed, because a doctor said that to me when my symptoms started at 13 years old. Having a friend or loved one say that has a similar effect. It is really not the place of anyone without a medical license to question that. Instead: “I hear you and I hope you get the answers that you need.” 2. “It could be worse.” What we hear: “At least you’re not dying.” or “Stop complaining.” I’m even guilty of using this one on myself. There is a reason why people with chronic illnesses are more susceptible to mental health issues. Living in constant pain is horrible and it epigenetically alters the brain. Even though we’re not dying from a visible illness, the degree of pain, isolation, anxiety and all the other issues that come with having a chronic illness are horrible. Try not to invalidate very real pain that is happening. Instead: “I am here to listen if you want to talk” or “It has to be difficult dealing with the pain.” 3. “You should try…. It worked for me” We hear: “You haven’t tried everything to make this go away. It’s your fault.” This one gets to me the most. Because the idea is that people with chronic illnesses just sit there and do nothing to better the situation. Even worse is that as people keep talking and go through the list of things like yoga, changing your diet, and a plethora of holistic approaches, you just keep praying they get off their soap box and maybe just ask questions instead. What worked for you may not work for someone else. Instead: “What have you tried that gives you relief?” or “Have you spoke to your doctor about alternatives?” You can say “If there is an activity you want to try, I can join you.” 4. You’re probably just stressed We hear: “You’re not good at managing your life.” “You did this to yourself.” Everyone has stress, but not everyone has a chronic illness. That statement comes from a place of a lack of empathy, and it really comes off as a way to dismiss the sufferer. It is honestly annoying, especially when you are keeping your stress level down, or you can’t help the amount of stress that is present in your life. It really places all the blame on the individual. No one wants to be blamed for their stress, because some of these factors may be fully outside of your control. Instead: “How can I help?” or “That must be hard to deal with.” 5. “You don’t look sick” What we hear: “Are you sure this is real?”“Are you faking being sick?” “Do you just want sympathy?” Being sick has to be correlated with looking sick for it to seem real for most people. Much of it is a lack of information. Some of it is purely people set in their idea of what sickness looks like. Can we blame them? At the same time, you know your body best, so you don’t need to prove to friends and family that what you experience is real. No one would walk up to someone who has experienced some trauma and say, “You don’t look sick.” Instead: “ Tell me how I can help” or “I may not know everything about your illness, but I would like to know more.” Like most people with an illness that still isn’t fully understood, we’d prefer if you would ask questions, rather than give unsolicited advice. It’s okay to not always have the right words, but also hold back on the assumption that the sufferer hasn’t or isn’t doing enough to improve the effect of chronic disease. Do you suffer with a chronic illness? Share some of the worst things people have said to you?

There are always those few things in life that take you back to your childhood, and more often than not, it’s food. Sausages on toast was one of them. The real special touch was that sausages were sautéed with onions and bell peppers. Here’s the simple recipe. Sautéed sausages You’ll need: 2 sausages half a small onion half of a bell pepper 3/4-1 tablespoon vegetable oil 1-2 tablespoons ketchup a touch of black pepper (optional) Cut sausages diagonally or horizontally. Place vegetable oil, onion and pepper in a saucepan at medium heat. Sautée till onions become translucent. Add sausages, ketchup and black pepper (optional). Mix thoroughly for 3-4 minutes I usually serve on sourdough toast with soft scrambled eggs. You can make it your own. It’s simple, and every bite is delicious.