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When my partner proposed to me 12 years ago, the only place I thought of getting married, was at City Hall. Simple and easy just the way we like it. The whole experience was unlike any other. Just being in a waiting area surrounded by so many couples dressed down or up, but all here for the same reason. Here are some of the photos that will live on forever… The day On a rainy and relatively warm December day in 2012, we made our way to city hall in Manhattan. We had to make a stop to get our rings in downtown Brooklyn that were ready on that day. With my mom we made it to lower Manhattan to be meet our second witness and the photographer. Afterwards, we all went to Tartinery Nolita Restaurant Bar Café, for a great meal. How did I find a dress and decide on flowers? I hunted for a dress to exhaustion and finally found a DVF store in SoHo a few days before our wedding. It was paired with a pair of off-white Anne Klein shoes and a bouquet of roses and hydrangeas that I bought from a quaint flower shop on John Street in Tribeca. Hydrangeas were always going to be part of the bouquet. What do you remember most about that day? Exiting the building and realizing that it was still raining. I am a pluviophile. There is nothing more soothing than rain and rainy days. It felt like the ultimate blessing. I also enjoyed just getting home and just laying in bed once the festivities were over. If you had a city hall wedding, share the best part of the experience. (Photos by Erneil Johnny )

I own a 2014 Chevy sedan and that means technology is lacking severely. I had to purchase a wireless FM transmitter and car charger to get us into modern times. Prior to the purchase, we listened to the radio for a few days, but after I bought the transmitter the girls wanted me to play DJ while driving. I wanted no part of that, nor did I want to listen to the argument that would eventually erupt about music choices if I handed them the phone in the back seat. I came to the conclusion that we will be listening to the radio in my car. We fell in love with one station, and the girls loved most of the music they play. I am talking about the music of my childhood from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s and almost every genre. Some of their favorites songs come from Spandau Ballet ( True ), Bon Jovi ( You Give Love a Bad Name), Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes ( I’ve Had the Time of my Life) , Prince ( Kiss ), Britney Spears ( Baby One More Time ) among many others. They’ve also told me to bring the volume down a couple of times in utter disgust with some songs, but seeing them appreciate the music I grew up on reinforced my belief that children should listen to as many different genres of music as possible. Dad’s favorite genre is country music, reggae, calypso and great ballads, while I am a full fledged R&B head of the 90s and early 2000s along with hip hop of that era, soca, bluegrass, house music, classical music, old school dancehall and some rock music. They hear it all. My girls are currently obsessed with Daniel Jang , especially since my older daughter is going to play the violin in the next school year. He serves as background music for us during dinner. In a time where streaming services allow children to gravitate towards familiar sounds and playlists, it can inadvertently create musical echo chambers. The humble radio, on the other hand, too often overlooked in the digital era, presents a unique opportunity for children to expand their musical horizons. Here’s why children should embrace the radio to enhance their knowledge and appreciation of diverse music. Exposure to a Variety of Genres Streaming services algorithms recommend music based on previous listens, which often leads children to stick to the same genres and artists. The radio, however, offers a curated experience by DJs who play a mix of music from different genres, eras, and cultures. This diversity can introduce children to new sounds and styles they might not encounter otherwise. This exposure broadens their musical palette and helps them appreciate the vast landscape of music. Educational Content and Insights Many radio stations, especially public and educational ones, provide context and commentary about the music they play. DJs and hosts often share interesting anecdotes, historical contexts, and behind-the-scenes stories about artists and songs. This information enriches the listening experience and transforms passive listening into an engaging educational activity. Encourages Active Listening Streaming services often promote passive listening, where music serves as background noise while doing other activities. Radio, however, encourages active listening, as children tune in to hear what's next. This anticipation can enhance their listening skills and attention spans. Active listening helps children develop critical thinking skills. It also cultivates patience and curiosity. Community Connection Radio stations often serve as a voice for local communities, highlighting regional artists, events, and news. Listening to local radio can help children feel more connected to their surroundings and develop a sense of community pride. They might learn about upcoming concerts or cultural festivals, fostering a greater desire to engage with their community. Cultivating a Balanced Media Diet Just as a balanced diet is essential for physical health, a balanced media diet is crucial for intellectual and cultural development. Streaming services limit exposure to new and diverse content, therefore, integrating radio into children’s media consumption habits provides a counterbalance to the algorithm-driven selections of streaming platforms. This helps cultivate well-rounded individuals with diverse tastes and knowledge. Reducing Screen Time Children are increasingly glued to screens, so listening to the radio allows them to engage with audio content without the need for visual stimulation. This promotes better mental and physical health. Reducing screen time can improve sleep and enhance focus. While streaming services offer convenience and customization, they can also limit children’s exposure to new and diverse sounds. Therefore, encouraging children to listen to the radio can broaden their musical horizons, enrich their knowledge, and foster a deeper appreciation for the art form. By integrating radio into their media diet, we can help them become well-rounded individuals with a rich and diverse understanding of music. So, next time you’re looking for something to listen to, consider tuning in to the radio. (Photos by Skynesher /iStock)

Hi! How is your week going? We are nearing the fall season and school has started for many kids. How are you dealing with the little and not so little ones returning to school? I won't apologize because I could not wait for the year to start. The summer was good, but I am happy to be back at what feels like my normal life. I also do quite enjoy having a paycheck, so being back at work as a substitute teacher has been great so far. At times, I think about my human resources salary, but do not miss the stressful environment, so I am staying in a place of gratitude. I am also so grateful for all the people who work at my children's school from the teachers, administrative/clerical employees, the janitor, the lunch aides, the subs and every other individual in between. With all the preparation for school, I managed two posts this week, Shut the World Out: How to Handle Your Child's Public Tantrum or Meltdown and Best Bread Recipe . As we wrap up this week, I just wanted to take a moment to wish you a fantastic weekend. It’s been a pleasure sharing these amazing parenting tips that I know have been helpful to me and could also help you, and a recipe for bread that you will never regret making. I hope you find them both engaging and valuable. It's supposed to be a rainy weekend here in the Capital District, but as a parent, I will be schlepping my daughter to soccer and enjoy a possible rainstorm. It will be a great time to step away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. So whether you’re planning to relax at home, catch up with friends, or explore new adventures, I hope you make the most of it. Sometimes, a little break is all we need to recharge and come back with fresh perspectives. Remember to take some time for yourself, and don’t forget to enjoy the little moments that make life special. Whether it’s savoring a good book, indulging in a favorite hobby, or simply unwinding, make sure to prioritize what brings you joy. Have a great weekend!

If you asked my young self where I thought I would be at this point in my life, it most definitely wouldn't be where I am now. This isn't to say that I am not proud of my accomplishments in my little over forty years on this planet. It is moreso to highlight that progress has not had the steady pace I anticipated, and I know that there are many others who understand this journey. My young and inexperienced mind could not envision the many hurdles that I would have had to overcome to get to this point in my life. I never imagined the United States of America would become my home when I moved here in my late teens. I didn't know I would later thwart a proposal from my first love to follow him to Europe. I didn't envision working as a full-time nanny who paid for school out of pocket as an international student, but still managed who graduate with honors. I didn't anticipate that I would make a move into corporate America and encounter my first dose of employment discrimination during my first pregnancy from a grandmother who gladly expressed having a grandchild on the way. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much having chronic illnesses would severely impact my ability to function daily. I think this last one hurt the most. There was so much that I was unprepared for navigating this life. All these detours, delays, and disappointments I encountered came with so many unexpected lessons. Some of them I wasn't ready to accept, and others that allowed me to appreciate the road not taken. Reflecting on where I thought I’d be versus where I am has illuminated not only my struggles but also the resilience and adaptability I’ve developed along the way. Facing the Disappointment of Unmet Goals . Not meeting some personal expectations can at times bring a unique kind of disappointment. Mine wasn't always rooted in self-comparison to peers who may have achieved certain milestones, but to the younger version of myself who believed certain goals were “givens.” As time went on from my late teens into my late twenties, the gap between my imagined life and my reality felt like a chasm—where I was still holding onto aspirations, but feeling like they were out of reach no matter how much I tried. The even more challenging aspect of this gap is that it tends to coincide with the period where we're told where we should be —typically somewhere around that thirty-year mark. What is it about thirty? Is it because we're about halfway into our life expectancy of about sixty to seventy years old? I guess that may be it, but that can feel like immense pressure for so many. As much as I admire those who figure it out and accomplish their goals early, I wish I had given myself a little more grace around this time. Even for those who seem to have it all together, growth isn't linear and some of their goals may take a while to get to. I remember an episode on Issa Rae's Insecure where Molly, a successful lawyer working toward partnership, was having a conversation with her therapist. She talked about the difficulties she was having navigating the "all-boys club" at work, and stated that if she works harder "everything should be fine." The therapist pauses the conversation and this exchange ensues. Therapist: You say that a lot. “Should.” You frame a lot of things in your life with “should.” Have you noticed that? Molly: *dismissively* No. Therapist: Two weeks ago you said “things should be easier for me as a successful black woman.” And another time you said “things should’ve fallen into place by now.” Is there a certain way you think your life should go? Molly: I mean, I do have specific life goals. And I think that, if you work hard it sho…..ought to yield certain results. Therapist: There’s a medical term called “magical thinking.” When we believe what we want can influence the external world as opposed to accepting things how they are. Molly fell into the trap that so many of us succumb to. It is that space where being “ settled ” or “ established ” is marked out as accomplished. But it is this sort of "magical thinking" that can bring a sense of angst and frustration, heavily impacting our mental health. We feel inadequate and not up to those imaginary standards that we and possibly others have set for us. This can be a natural point for self-reflection. Questions arise: Why do I want this? Is this goal for me or to influence how others perceive me? What are the goals I have achieved? Our aspirations are shaped by limited experience, idealized narratives, and the influence of cultural expectations. In these moments, recognizing the arbitrary nature of these timelines can help lessen feelings of failure or inadequacy. Also appreciate the goals that have been met, while still being able to carve out a path to achieve unmet goals without engaging in an internal boxing match. Reassessing Success and Progress . One of the most empowering things I did was redefine what success looked like. By the fourth decade, most of us have the life experience to understand that success isn’t just about the tangible markers—the job, house, car, partner, and the two-point-five babies. Real success might be found in other, more personal areas of our lives: healthy relationships with family and friends, good physical health, a non-toxic work environment, and a strong sense of self-worth and identity among other things. It is usually these things that are the most meaningful and reshape how we think of success. For instance, a stable career in an industry that brings genuine fulfillment may not be as glamorous as we once imagined, but it provides purpose and has immense value. For different people, there are different needs. As someone with multiple chronic illnesses, flexibility is the name of the game , so I chose to become a substitute teacher temporarily while I also pursue other ventures. This choice put me in a setting where I do not feel the least bit stressed out, while I utilize all the skills from my untraditional path. I am also extremely grateful to be able to do something as simple as picking up my children from school . I'm able to show up as a better version of myself. In addition to redefining success, it was crucial to redefine progress. The human experience is one of ebb and flow. We all face setbacks and many persevere, with grit that traditional standards cannot measure. Relationships may not have panned out as we expected, but perhaps this has provided a deeper understanding of ourselves and what we need and deserve in relationships moving forward. That job did not work out, but maybe it helped give you a sense of direction to where you really want to be. Those small steps and missteps are signs of progress. Sometimes, an unconventional path fosters deeper connections with others facing similar struggles. Reassessing our accomplishments can offer new insights, bringing a sense of satisfaction in areas that may have been overlooked. Embracing Life’s Detours and Lessons Learned Along the Way . It’s tempting to focus on what’s missing when life veers from our expectations. Yet, many find that life’s unexpected turns come with their own rewards. Experiences we don’t plan for—like travel, moving to a new city, learning a skill, or discovering a passion—enrich our lives in ways that structured goals cannot. As someone who has lived a life with some major detours, I've learned to appreciate every single one. There were times when I thought a detour caused me to regress, but I don't ever remember regretting my choices. My choice may have led to new relationships, opened doors to creative pursuits, and even brought about profound internal transformations. Detours are often accompanied by personal growth that can’t be easily quantified. Each twist and turn, though perhaps not “planned,” adds complexity to our stories, making it richer and more unique. By the time you reach your forties like me, we likely carry a wealth of experiences that the younger version of ourselves could never have anticipated. These experiences—whether positive or challenging—form the basis of our wisdom, resilience, and adaptability. As we embrace these experiences as part of the journey, we can cultivate gratitude for the unexpected gifts that detours bring. It is with time that the benefit of these lessons emerge. For example, we may realize that personal growth often comes not from success, but from the courage to confront failure, start over, or reimagine what we want for our lives. Even if the path to where I am wasn’t what I had in mind, the skills and insights I gained along the way are invaluable moving forward. No one is behind. It is just taking some a little more time to get where they need to be. Finding New Goals and Setting Meaningful Milestones . I believe that no one is behind and timelines are merely a suggestion. The realization that I may not be where I expected to be was both sobering and freeing. I may not have checked every box on my original life plan, but that moment provided an opportunity for me to set fresh goals that are more aligned with my values and experiences today. In my forties, it’s often less about reaching arbitrary milestones and more about setting goals that truly matter to me. This means pursuing a new passion, deepening relationships, and prioritizing my well-being over external validation. I am no longer chasing a predetermined blueprint. I am now focused on crafting a life that feels fulfilling in the present, rather than just one that looks good on paper. One of the most liberating lessons I've learned is that goals can evolve. What once seemed essential at one point no longer resonates, and that’s okay. By letting go of rigid expectations, we make space for new aspirations—ones shaped by our lived experiences rather than youthful assumptions. At this stage, success might mean choosing joy over obligation and embracing authenticity over approval. I love finding fulfillment in the small, everyday moments that make life meaningful. The path may not have unfolded as I planned, but that doesn’t mean it lacks purpose or value. Sometimes, the unexpected turns lead us to exactly where we need to be. (Feature photo Peter Lloyd/Unsplash and woman in yoga pose by Amauri Mejia/Unsplash)

Originally posted: 04/22/2024 Revised: 04/28/2025 From “The Lives We Actually Have” by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie I love my role as a mother to the two girls I have been gifted. I love being the first in many roles and moments in their lives. I enjoy being the one they can reach out to for love, help, and support in a way that no other person in their lives can fulfill. Daddy has his place, Grandma has her place, but I get the most special room where I am greeted with hugs, kisses, and my children’s love. As much as I love it all, I would be remiss to say that motherhood has not sometimes taken a toll on me to the point of burnout. These are the days when I don’t think I am quite suited for motherhood, no matter how much my partner and mother remind me. I get annoyed by my kids sometimes, I yell sometimes, and there are times I simply want to retreat from motherhood. I want to be like a bear seeking refuge from the brutal elements of the cold until the season is over.  As the child of a single parent who had the help and support of an amazing grandmother, I don’t think I truly got a sense of what motherhood would look like to me, before becoming a parent. I knew that becoming a parent was on my priority list and that finding someone to build that family with was the ideal. If someone were to simply explain the sacrifices of motherhood in my younger years, my mind would not have been able to wrap around the magnitude of it. Like many roles, motherhood is where you get a lot of on-the-job training. Your life is no longer fully owned by you, because you now have to prioritize little humans who depend on you for their every need.  In the early stages, I recall days of being so sleep-deprived that all I could do is cry. This was also countered with the celebration of all the milestones that my children would accomplish: first roll, sitting up, first word, first teeth and first steps. Who can forget? I loved it all. I relished it all. I remember the first time that I noticed that my very witty two-year-old understood sarcasm and shared our first inside joke. When my first daughter transitioned from saying “or-dayng” to finally saying “orange.” I still miss “or-dayng” to this day. As they get older, I know the child I can connect with on our love of movies and the child I could connect with on our love of food.  Motherhood ebbs and flows. It is an adventurous, joyous and fulfilling journey. It is a full-time commitment that is physically, emotionally and psychologically demanding. It requires commitment above all else to the highs and lows of being within and outside of your comfort zone. Whether you view motherhood as birthright, obligation or choice, in its most authentic form, motherhood is ministry . It is a sacred calling that we shouldn’t tread into lightly, whether it is by choice or circumstance. I have such great respect for the women who choose not to be mothers. It shows self-awareness on the highest level, as it pertains to a whole human life. For those who choose to fulfill their calling, by birthing, surrogacy, or adoption, know that your role is valuable and appreciated. Here are some of the ways that motherhood is ministry: Nurturing Hearts and Minds : As mothers, we tend to the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of our children. We become their teacher and their source of love and guidance. The simple act of listening and comforting our children is ministry to their hearts and minds. It shapes them into compassionate, resilient, and thoughtful individuals. We may not always get it right, but focusing on doing better with every new day is how we can fulfill this role. Cultivating Values and Virtues : Mothers play a crucial role in instilling values such as honesty, kindness and empathy in their children. As we interact daily with our children, we model these virtues, guiding them to understand the importance of integrity, compassion, and respect for others. As we heal and protect our inner child, we will keep passing on these lessons learnt. Creating a Safe Haven : In a world filled with challenges and uncertainties, our love and support offer a sense of security and belonging. A mom’s goal is to creates a safe haven for her children. Moms also need support from their tribe and nothing feels better than when needs are communicated and everyone is up to speed. In the meantime whether it's through a warm embrace, a listening ear, or a comforting presence, moms will continue to provide refuge, solace and strength. Embracing the Sacredness of Everyday Moments : In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to overlook the sacredness of ordinary moments. Yet, in the eyes of a mother, even the most mundane tasks become sacred acts of love and service. Whether it's preparing a meal, tucking her children into bed, or sharing a laugh together, a mother recognizes the divine beauty in these simple gestures, knowing that they are building bonds that will last a lifetime. Growing Together in Faith : A mother guides her children on a journey of faith. Whether it's through bedtime prayers, family rituals, or conversations about life's big questions, a mother helps her children cultivate a sense of wonder and reverence for the world around them. Together, they explore the mysteries of life and deepen their understanding of their place in the universe. Motherhood is indeed a ministry—a sacred calling that requires love, devotion, and a deep commitment to nurturing the souls entrusted to her care. So, to all the mothers out there, remember that your work is not just important; it is holy. And may you continue to embrace the sacredness of your role, knowing that you are shaping the future with every gentle touch, every guiding word, and every loving embrace. (Photo: First image from “The Lives We Actually Have” by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie)

Originally published: 03/27/21 Revised: 05/01/2 5 May is here and the summer is about to begin. With all that sunlight and better weather, we have more opportunities to be outdoors. Increasing serotonin requires no grand gestures , but with so many of us still spending hours at a time indoors, it is still important to be intentional about engaging in serotonin-boosting activities. They just need to be small repetitive acts that become habits. Here are 4 ways to boost serotonin and your overall well-being: Go for long walks outside . There is nothing better than communing with nature. The quiet, the stillness and the solitude have a way of clearing the mind of all the clutter. When done well, a long walk allows you to let your mind float, and just really immerse in what can feel like a moment to exhale. Psychologists...suggest that a 10-minute walk may be just as good as a 45-minute workout. If a short walk has such a great benefit, imagine the benefits of longer walks. Bask in nature. Enjoy a great view if you’re lucky enough and savor living in the moment. Exercise . It promotes health throughout the body and is also shown to increase brain serotonin function, increasing overall mood. The experience of fatigue during exercise is associated with elevated brain tryptophan and serotonin synthesis. Physical exertion also acts as a distraction from stressors. Whether it’s brisk walking, jogging, or even swimming, whatever way you choose to exercise serves as a way to activate the production of serotonin. Enjoy some bright light . Exposure to bright light is another approach to increasing serotonin. A few studies suggest that bright light is an effective treatment for nonseasonal depression. There was also a positive correlation between serotonin synthesis and the hours of sunlight on the day the measurements were made, independent of season. Regardless of whether it’s a cloudy or sunny day, light exposure from the outdoors is truly beneficial to improving your mood. Meditate and visualize . Meditation can be life changing for those who choose to practice. The good thing is that you do not have to be an expert at the practice, to reap the benefits of its serotonin boosting effect. Changing your mood can be difficult to shift sometimes, but something as simple as redirecting your thoughts from a place of stress to a positive experience can do the trick. Visualizing a happy moment, a place or a person that induces positive thoughts is a great way to increased the levels of serotonin in the brain. Add some deep breathing and you’re now in your happy place. Try to make these four strategies a part of your daily life. and see the transformation. What do you do to improve your mood?

Originally published: April 4, 2024 Revised: August 1, 2025 I am a woman. I have never questioned my femininity or my attractiveness—maybe not since my mid teens. I birthed two beautiful babies from this body. I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea —then again, who is—but I stand in my beauty. That I know for sure will never change. I have worn my hair naturally for most of my life. God knew what he was doing when he gave me the gift of not having long hair. I just had to catch up with with his ultimate design, because I eventually realized that I do not enjoy ‘maintaining’ any kind of hair. I don’t recall enjoying sitting between the legs of an elder to have my hair combed as a kid. The irony is, I am really good at caring for hair, but I do not enjoy doing it on myself. A few years ago, I went to the barber who has cut my hair several times before, to shave my head. While sitting in the chair, he asked, “What does your husband think about you cutting your hair?” I responded, “I don’t know and I don’t really care” with a straight face. He laughed and said, “But what if he doesn’t like it?” I responded again, “Don’t know and don’t care.” My responses were curt, because I did not want to entertain his questions. It was my protest against the idea that I needed permission from my then husband. I knew exactly what my husband thought. He didn’t mind. Over the last almost eight years since I went back to my natural hair, my then husband has seen me through every hair transition—and there have been many. He would go to work with me having hair and come back to a shaved head. I never felt the need to discuss my decision, because the hair on my head belongs to me. He always complimented me and just said, “Nice haircut,” and rubbed my head with a kiss. When we started dating, I told him, “There are two things that I do not need your input on; how I wear my hair and how I dress.” He saw it all before he proposed to me and married me, so if he had reservations about my sometimes shaved head, he was free to walk away. Plus I have great taste in fashion. I’ll take a compliment from him, but I don’t need guidance in that area. No thank you sir. Later that same week, I encountered another acquaintance, a sweet man who seemed to question whether my husband was okay with me cutting my hair. I thought I was in the twilight zone to be honest. Not one, but two men asked me about my husband’s feelings regarding a decision to do something to my body. He even asserted that my husband may cheat on me for this reason, to which I responded, “Then, we would have much bigger problems than a haircut.” I was in disbelief honestly. Not only did they feel bold enough to make these statements, but the fact that they act like my husband owned me was baffling. Apparently, cutting my hair to suit my own preference, was helping destroy my marriage. In their twisted view, I needed his approval to shave my head. I was a woman in my thirties. The last time I sought approval from a partner was in my teens when I had a lot to learn about relationships. I’m well beyond that stage, and there is one thing I do know; I am my own person. I do not need permission to do something as simple as a haircut from a partner. I get it. I’m not oblivious. How often is a woman with a shaved head depicted as beautiful, and a black woman at that? Far and few between. According to the movies, a shaved head tends to be depicted as moment of impulse or a woman in an act of crisis. I mean, why would any rational thinking woman want to shave her head because she simply wants to and feels beautiful that way? Right?! Wrong! Many women feel beautiful without feeling beholden to their hair. Nothing about a shaved head depicts unattractive to me. We need to normalize shaved and bald beauty whether it’s by choice or not. We need to continue working on changing the narrative. Diversity of beauty is what makes us unique and beautiful. Our hair does not need policing. The day that the female body stops being objectified, critiqued, or seen as a battlefield for control will be a day of complete freedom, but in the meantime, I am the only one who gets to define my sense of beauty. No one else. I don't need anyone's permission.

What do Viola Davis, Vera Wang, John Warnock, Julia Child, Martha Stewart and so many others have in common? They gained much of their success later in life. American women have their highest median earning years between the ages of 35 and 64 , yet there seems to be a race to have it all by 30, a concept that has infiltrated the minds of so of many of us. In spite of this pressure, I am happy to see the resistance that is happening around adults being proud to start new careers or build on their existing skills in their 40s and later. Deciding to go back to school in your 40s isn’t a decision that happens overnight. It takes courage, planning, and a fair bit of self-reflection. But perhaps the most surprising obstacle along the way isn’t balancing family life, a career, or the coursework itself—it’s navigating the sometimes invisible, sometimes blatant barriers of ageism. In any culture that prioritizes youth, it’s easy to feel overlooked or underestimated. But here’s the thing: this ageism doesn’t just affect the individual, it holds back our entire society from reaching its full potential. Here’s why. The Value of Experience in Learning. One of the best things about going back to school later in life is bringing your life experience with you. Life has given you depth, wisdom, and a different lens for learning that younger students simply haven’t had the time to develop. Yet, because of ageist assumptions, those experiences can often be undervalued in educational settings, limiting how much older students feel encouraged to contribute. My life and career experiences in Human Resources have enriched my understanding of my studies in psychology and will in my future career as a social worker. I can analyze a case study with an eye toward both interpersonal relationships and organizational structure, bringing a unique perspective to my program. But because ageism can portray “older” students as out of touch, therefore our voices may not get the attention they deserve. Completing assignments for my BA in psychology with my two babies next to me in 2020 Redefining “Potential” as Lifelong. One common ageist assumption is that by a certain age, you’re “done” with learning or growth. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks they say. It’s a belief that not only limits individuals but affects society at large by failing to tap into the potential that every generation has to offer. Ageism tells us that growth is a young person’s game, pushing us to think that anyone over a certain age has already reached their peak. What if, instead, we recognized the value in lifelong learning? What if we saw every individual as a dynamic, evolving person, rather than assuming their potential has a cutoff age? My journey into social work is an example of that evolution and finding my purpose, even in the midst of responsibilities that can sometimes detour personal personal goals. My choice will have a long-lasting impact, not just on my life but on the clients I work with in the future, because some may see me as a beacon of what is possible. Ageism as a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. One of the most harmful effects of ageism is that it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When society tells us that older people can’t adapt, can’t innovate, or can’t succeed in new areas, it’s easy to internalize those messages. People may limit their goals, avoid new challenges, or feel that trying something new isn’t worth the effort because of the fear of being judged. On the contrary, studies show that people in their 40s and beyond can be incredibly adept at learning new skills, especially those that draw on emotional intelligence, critical thinking, and complex problem-solving—all skills developed and honed over decades of life experience. Moving Forward with Purpose Now that I am preparing to go back to school in my 40s, I am looking forward to one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. The mix of excitement, challenge, and growth reminded me that age is just a number and it shouldn’t dictate what you’re capable of or what dreams you can pursue. Every year, every decade, brings new perspectives and skills, making us more capable, not less. Ageism is a barrier we need to break down. It limits not just the potential of older individuals but the richness and diversity of perspectives that society needs to thrive. So, for anyone considering a new path later in life, know that it’s possible, valuable, and worth pursuing. We can all benefit from embracing a world where age isn’t a limitation but an asset, a source of strength, and a gateway to lifelong learning. Are you heading back to school in your 40s? Share your excitement with me.

My older daughter and I connect on our love of good food, so I have no problem letting her scour through YouTube to find dinner ideas for the family. She decided that she wanted to try corn dogs, because it has been a while since we’ve all had one. She came across a video of Korean corn dog coated with corn flakes and was instantly inspired. Thankfully, cornflakes is the only cereal we keep at home and use it primarily for my delicious cornflake coated chicken. With no guidance on the ingredient portions, I created my own recipe and came up with an amazing corn dog recipe. I have done it twice so far and it was perfection both times. Corn Flake Coated Corn Dog You’ll need: 1 package of beef sausages (6) 1 package of mozzarella string cheese 1/4 cup flour 3 cups of corn flakes skewers For batter 1 large egg 2 tablespoons of sugar 1 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 7 tablespoons to 1/2 cup of milk* * The consistency is best with a little less than the 1/2 cup. Reminder that 1/4 cup is 4 tablespoons and 1/2 is 8 tablespoons. Cut 6 sausages and 6 mozzarella string cheeses in half. Insert a skewer first into the sausage from the rounded end tip first and past the flattened center. Then insert into the mozarella cheese. Repeat for all the halves. To create the batter, in a bowl, mix the egg, sugar, flour, baking powder and milk. Mix until a smooth consistency. Next, place the corn flakes into a ziplock bag and crush to the desired size. Begin heating up your oil to about 375°F as you prepare to coat your corn dog. Pour the batter into a tall glass for dipping. place the flour and crushed cornflakes into separate plates. Start with a light coating of flour, dip into the batter making sure to allow excess batter to drip, then coat well with the crushed cornflakes. Place in your oil and fry until golden brown about 3-5 minutes. Thanks to my sweet daughter who suggested this, because it was a hit. It was the best with a crunchy exterior, gooey cheese and beefy ftanks. It was absolutely the most delicious corn dog and we all enjoyed it. Tell me your thoughts if you try this!

This is a note I shared on my social media accounts and I thought worthy of putting on the blog. let’s talk… as a highly sensitive person living with non-life threatening chronic illnesses, i understand the importance of a diagnosis. i didn’t get diagnosed with fibromyalgia until i was about 26, even though i had been going to doctors since i was 13. i suspected what it was right before a doctor was able to formally diagnose me. i had doctors say verbatim, “she seems like a tense child” or “it’s all in your head” so regularly that i thought i would never know what was wrong. it’s so hard to go through these medical experiences where you feel unseen and unheard, but in all of it, i grew a backbone. after becoming a mother twice over, there were signs that i probably ignored. i was constantly misplacing things and a few other things. i asked my doctor if i am at risk for dementia because of fibromyalgia and he said no. i kept putting it in the motherhood folder and kept thinking i was overwhelmed, tired or stressed. what i was able to ignore without kids couldn’t be ignored anymore. part of it was that i was proficient at masking. if you ask anyone around me, i seem like i hold it all together very well, and for the most part i do. i am a smart, functional, and highly organized person. but slowly, i couldn’t maintain the level of organization that i once did. i have always been that person who requires a lot of recovery time moving through this world. i experience an immense amount of fatigue dealing with people on the day to day. i just did a women’s ADHD test which confirmed what i have been thinking recently and recommended that i seek out a formal diagnosis. i am going to start this journey, because for far too long i’ve just powered through it. motherhood also shed a light on something that i couldn’t see and i can’t ignore it anymore. any moms in their 40s going through something similar?