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Today I did nothing, and it felt so darn good. This is a rare occurrence, but it has been delightful. I spent much of it watching " Young Sheldon ," and quite honestly, one of the best shows ever. If you're one for dry humor along the line of The Office , Parks and Recreation and Monk , this is going to be your happy place. I hope you spend the weekend with a little humor.

In recent years, the phrase "self-care" has become the go to piece of advice, as the remedy for various forms of burnout. However, when it comes to moms experiencing burnout, the concept of self-care as a solution is losing traction. While self-care is undoubtedly valuable, its promotion as the primary solution to maternal burnout overlooks deeper systemic issues. It also perpetuates unrealistic expectations. Let's dig a little deeper into why we often tell moms that self-care is the antidote to burnout and explore a more an approach from several fronts on how to support maternal well-being. The Pressure on Moms: From societal expectations to internalized standards of perfection, mothers often find themselves shouldering a lot of pressure. The modern ideal of the "supermom" who effortlessly balances career, family, and personal fulfillment is overwhelming and unrealistic, because no one can't do it all . All you have to do get on any social media platform to see the sheer number of women expressing how the pressure of motherhood is detrimentally effecting their well-being. Married, single and divorced mothers everywhere are sounding the alarm in their own lives to raise awareness and create dialogue about the lack of spousall and familial support. They are also pointing to a bigger issue about the lack of affordable childcare options and workplace flexibility that exacerbates the situation. Self-care and community care are one in the same. The Rise of Self-Care: As awareness around mental health and well-being has grown, so has the emphasis on self-care practices. Encouraging individuals to prioritize activities that nurture their physical, emotional, and mental health is undoubtedly beneficial. However, the commodification of self-care place additional pressure on mothers. To imply that burnout is primarily an individual problem that can be solved through self-care overlooks the structural barriers and systemic inequalities that contribute to maternal stress and exhaustion. No amount self-care routines can eliminate burnout. Spousal, family and community support are crucial to the well-being of mothers. The Limitations of Self-Care: While self-care activities such as meditation, exercise, or leisurely pursuits can provide temporary relief from stress, they do not address the root causes of maternal burnout. Moms facing burnout often require more comprehensive support systems, including access to affordable healthcare, flexible work arrangements, and equitable distribution of caregiving responsibilities within the family unit. Focusing solely on self-care without addressing these underlying issue does not facilitate healing or prevent future harm. A Holistic Approach to Maternal Well-being: To truly support moms experiencing burnout, we must adopt a more holistic approach that acknowledges the multifaceted nature of their experiences. This approach involves: 1. Recognizing and challenging societal norms and expectations that contribute to maternal burnout. 2. Advocating for policies and initiatives that provide tangible support to mothers, such as paid parental leave, affordable childcare, and workplace accommodations. 3. Encouraging open dialogue and destigmatizing discussions around maternal mental health. 4. Providing access to comprehensive healthcare services, including mental health resources and support groups tailored to the needs of mothers. 5. Empowering mothers to prioritize their well-being without guilt or shame, recognizing that self-care is just one piece of the puzzle. While self-care undoubtedly plays a role in promoting maternal well-being, it is not a cure-all for burnout. Shifting the narrative away from individual responsibility towards systemic change and collective support, can create a more inclusive and equitable society where all mothers can thrive.

These days, going to the grocery store makes even the strongest of us cower due to rising food prices. For that reason, I have been coming up with creative ways to reduce the grocery budget for my family of four. Most of our family meals are made from scratch, but now, I am consistently making a few staples that I would usually purchase premade. Bread, cup cakes, muffins I love baking. I am a frequent baker of cakes, cupcakes and muffins, because I like having control of the ingredients in our food. Having children with food allergies has made me conscious of the ingredient list, and I am able to have snacks that I can pack for school. Unfortunately, anything that requires yeast as the rising agent is my nemesis. I loathe the waiting, but I have decided that it is worth it to bake our own bread. It's becoming costly, and I like being able to have bread with no preservatives. I found a great bread recipe online, and I hit gold the first time. My family loves it and I am experimenting with adding different flours. Next stops, focaccia and sourdough. Salad Dressing My family loves a simple dressing. The 'everyday' salad dressing that we use quite literally for almost every salad we make is a mixture of olive oil, avocado oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. It never disappoints. I have also began making small batches of Japanese ginger salad dressing, which requires blending ginger, carrots, onion, sugar, soy sauce, rice vinegar and oil to give the most aromatic and flavorful dressing you can think of. Caramel Sauce One day, I ran out of maple syrup at home and needed a syrup for crêpes which we make every week. I decided that homemade caramel sauce would be a great easy alternative. I make mine using cane or brown sugar in my cast iron pan and have been very happy with the results. Pancakes and crêpes In my house, we enjoy Saturday and/or Sunday breakfast. After a busy week, it's nice to enjoy a batch of crêpes . I have also been adding puréed vegetables to add color to my crêpe recipe since I have a picky eater. She loves the color and has no idea she is eating her veggies at the same time. Barbecue sauce Barbecue sauce is a staple in our house, so for this reason, I make a batch of barbecue sauce that stays for quite a while. I get to control the degree of sweetness and we all enjoy knowing that we can always whip up more as long as all the ingredients are in stock. This is a growing list of items. I know that for so many this can be time consuming, but it is worth it for us. Are you making anything from scratch? (Photos: Baking setup Wix, Loaf of bread Lillian.com , Salad dressing Erhardtseat.com , caramel sauce Bellyfull.net , crêpes Wix, barbecue sauce Natashaskkitchen.com )

I love thrifting . I love the savings, the quality of items, the unique styles from eras past, and in some way, it is my small contribution to reducing over-consumption. Since moving with my family to upstate New York, I have been excited to decorate our new space. I decided to no longer buy new furniture, but commit to buying only gently used, real wood items. I scoured Facebook Marketplace and local thrift shops to create our style and I am more than pleased with the outcome. Here are a few of the items I found so far: Buffet/Sideboard, picture frames and candle holders I found this solid wood, veneer exterior sideboard/buffer made by B. Brody Seating Company from a Facebook Marketplace seller. I can't tell you if it is authentic or not, but I love it. At first it resided at the entryway, but is now in my bedroom. I also found some picture frames and candle holders at a Habitat for Humanity store that all blended with the look I want to achieve. American-made armchairs I also found a pair of midcentury American made chairs from Gunlocke Company  for $20. It was a 30 minute drive out and it was worth it. I do plan on reupholstering it, but for now, I am enjoying it just the way it is. Farmhouse dining set This dining set was meant for me and came from two different sources. I went to the basement at my job and saw three farmhouse chairs in storage. I asked the maintenance crew if they were willing to part with it and they said said yes. Around the same time, someone was selling three chairs and this table that extends on Facebook Marketplace. I needed a larger table for my thanksgiving dinner and I drove to Ballston Spa to pick it up. It was perfect with every piece in tact. I initially thought about painting it, but the wood is so beautiful that I kept it the way it is. Bar height stools I did a two hour round trip for these solid wood, bar height saddle stools that typically go for about $40 a chair at counter height. I got them for $25 for all four. There were a few loose pieces, but I was able to easily repair them. Even Baba enjoys sitting on them. Chest of drawers This Ethan Allen chest of drawers was a surprise for my daughters on Sisters Day 2023. The seller made all these beautiful finishes and it was perfect for their room. I look forward to more thrifting and as I purchase, I will share all the beautiful results. Whatever your motivation, keep thrifting. If you would like to be featured on " What I Bought, How I styled," contact me below.

What are your plans for the weekend? In my neck of the woods, it is supposed to snow tonight, followed by a wintry mix that will last till 11 p.m tomorrow. This honestly is my kind of weather, even though I was hoping for a sunny day. I can look forward at least to Sunday being sunny and a bit warmer. For now, I am indulging in 3 seasons of Travelers on Netflix. Tomorrow, I will be washing and braiding my daughters' hair, indulging in some self-care, and bake some snacks with the girls in preparation for the school week. As you go into the weekend, I want you to remember these words. Extend it to yourself and to others. XOXO (Photos: Sleeping person Unsplash; quote created using Canva)

What are your plans for the weekend? It's been a busy week for us so far. Mom is visiting so that means making time for a few fun activities. Today, my mom, the girls and I made it to Saratoga Spa State Park and enjoyed a brief, but beautiful time. Much of the ground was soggy, so we couldn't visit the mineral springs, but we enjoyed a beautiful creek and the view of all the trees. The air was amazingly crisp and we loved every part of it. Saratoga Spa State Park Tomorrow, we plan on visiting the New York State Museum for their gems exhibit. Lately, my daughters are enamored with facts in geology and astronomy. I hope to read more about the passing of beauty influencer Jessica Pettway . It shattered me in a very personal way. I hope to share more of my thoughts next week. Have a wonderful weekend and be sure to make time for you.

My first daughter is a walking ray of sunshine. She wakes up happy and bubbly every day with energy that I can only dream of. She is loved by teachers, classmates and makes friends easily. But from a very young age, if I asked, "How was school today?" she would never care to answer. I realized quickly that the question was too broad, and I needed to ask in a different way to get answers, so instead I started asking: Was everyone kind to you? My goal with that question was to really ask, " How were your interactions today ?" Since a three year old would not understand the word " interactions " but understood kindness, I revised the question. She understood and very quickly developed her own Likert scale of very kind, kind of kind and not so kind with hand gestures to match when she did not feel like saying much. This would then allow me to ask the who, what, when and/or why to get down to some of her issues. By asking such a simple question, we have had such meaningful dialogue. It worked so well that I kept it up and my second daughter quickly learned what was being asked. The conversations can go from being downright funny, to spilling the classroom tea, and the positive and negative interactions of the day. It really gives the girls the opportunity to unload the stressors of the day. We are able to revise how they can advocate for themselves, our rules on how we should expect others to treat us and how to set clear boundaries. They have become quite adept in handling most situations to the point where my younger daughter who has been dealing with a kid who sometimes says unkind things to her—and pretty much all the other students—recently became very intent on telling me, "Mom, you don't need to talk to my teacher yet. I can handle it. I will be brave and keep speaking up for myself." I was so proud of her in that moment. She showed that she wants to try to solve situations on her own with classmates as a first step. She also knows that if it escalates, we can revisit the situation and handle appropriately. Free and open dialogue will always be a win in my book. How do you ask your kids about their day?

A few years ago, I was talking to one of my older coworkers. She committed over 40 years to the company and raised a beautiful daughter who is an executive at a major tech company. With her daughter’s success came the opportunity to travel around the world. While I was there, she traveled to the Caribbean, two countries in Europe and a trip to Japan. She was having the time of her life. When we first talked, she was resistant to her daughter’s invitation visit London. I looked her square in the eyes and said, “You need to say yes to that trip. You need to take in these wonderful blessings and experiences that are being bestowed upon you.” She finally agreed. Upon her return, she could not stop talking about how amazing the trip was and how it totally wiped away her preconceived notions of what London would be like. The photos really showed her excitement and enjoyment. This all goes to show that you need to say yes more than you say no. Saying yes: 1. Opens the door of opportunity and success Saying yes can be the catalyst for change in ways you might never anticipate. Often, others can see potential in you that you haven’t recognized in yourself, presenting you with opportunities to build skills and explore talents you never knew you had. Imagine saying yes to a project that seems daunting at first, only to discover that it ignites a passion for something completely new. By choosing to say yes, you open yourself to experiences that push your boundaries, challenge your limits, and foster personal growth. It’s easy to let fear or self-doubt convince you to decline, but when you step forward with an open mind, you allow yourself the chance to grow in ways you never imagined. These moments of courage can become the turning points that lead to your greatest successes. 2. Allows blessings to come through Whether you believe in divine intervention, fate, or simply the serendipity of life, saying yes can often invite unexpected blessings into your life. Consider this: every opportunity you embrace is a seed planted, and each seed has the potential to grow into something incredible. A personal example stands out for me. Once, I attended a career fair and waited in line for a company I hadn’t considered working for. I almost stepped out of line, but I stayed and handed over my resume. Weeks later, I was called for an interview that led to an amazing opportunity. The role was perfect—it allowed me the flexibility I needed as a mom and offered a salary I never expected. It wasn’t what I initially sought, but it was exactly what I needed. Saying yes allowed the universe to align my circumstances in a way I couldn’t have planned. 3. Opens the doorway to living your best life We all aspire to live our best lives—a life filled with purpose, excitement, and fulfillment. Saying yes more often can help you craft a life that feels meaningful and vibrant. Each yes becomes a step toward a richer existence, whether it’s through travel, deepening relationships, or embracing new hobbies. By being open to opportunities, you create space for joy and adventure. Maybe it’s saying yes to a spontaneous trip, joining a club, or even meeting new people. These moments, while seemingly small, weave together to create a life full of unforgettable experiences. Saying yes leads to stories worth telling and memories worth cherishing. 4. You attract positivity and fun When you embrace the power of yes, you naturally foster a positive and optimistic outlook on life. People who say yes tend to see opportunities instead of obstacles and possibilities instead of problems. This attitude not only benefits you but also influences the people around you. Positivity is contagious. By saying yes, you attract like-minded individuals who bring joy, excitement, and encouragement into your life. The simple act of being open can lead to meaningful connections with people who inspire you and make life more enjoyable. Optimism and openness are magnetic—they draw in positivity, fun, and opportunities for happiness. Google executive Eric Schmidt said, “Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new. Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids. Even if it's a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone, saying yes means that you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference. Yes lets you stand out in a crowd, be the optimist, see the glass full, be the one everyone comes to. Yes is what keeps us all young.” (Photos from Wix)

Jessica Pettway/Instagram About a week ago, I came across a video discussing the untimely death of beauty and style influencer Jessica Pettway at 36 years old. Jessica, it turns out was misdiagnosed with fibroids when in actuality, she had cervical cancer, the cause of her passing. I gasped in disbelief for so many reasons: this was preventable, because cervical cancer is treatable, two young children have become motherless, a husband lost his wife and a family is in mourning. I just want to know, " Who are the doctors who initially disregarded and dismissed her complaints until it was too late?" It is no coincidence that women of color seeking help do not always receive the level of care that they deserve even when their socio-economic status is higher than that of white counterparts. There is enough research to go around as to why this keeps happening, year after year, decade after decade and century after century. Instagram/Jessica Pettway I dug further into Jessica's case and who better than Jessica to tell her story. On July 31, 2023, Jessica in an Instagram post stated the following: "... a few months ago I received devastating news. I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer." "Last June, I was having intense vaginal bleeding. And when I say intense, I mean I was literally bleeding out. I called around and asked other women if they experienced this before and majority of them said they have. I thought, well maybe this is a "normal" thing that women go through. I was experiencing extreme fatigue, weakness and just not feeling like myself. But again, I accepted this as a "normal" symptom that most women go through." "Well, on July 1st 2022 at 4am, my husband found me in the bathroom unresponsive and not breathing. I had literally passed away." "Fast forward to July 22nd, I was hospitalized again for the same thing. Again, the medical professionals treated it like it was not that alarming since it was just a "fibroids." "As I went in for my appointment, this doctor asked if she could just look down there first. She was the first to show some concern. I told her it was ok to check. It didn't take her long before she looked at me and said, she could not even see my cervix because it was blocked by a huge mass. She scheduled me an appointment with an Oncologist thay following week. On February 8th 2023, he performed an out patient biopsy on me. When I woke up from the anesthesia, he casually said, "yep you have stage 3 cervical cancer." It turns out, it was not a fibroid, but cancer. I was misdiagnosed all this time." This reads like a horror movie, except it happened Jessica and to many women alike. All of what Jessica says points to a bigger issue of women being socialized to normalize pain. We've also been conditioned to just "dealt with it" and accept being dismissed by those entrusted to care for us. For and women of color, the risks are even greater. While we may not be able to make drastic changes to a broken system, we can make small changes in how we interact with our health care system: Ask lots of questions when things are unclear. I can guarantee you I've annoyed quite a few doctors, but if something is unclear during a medical appointment, ask your doctor to explain so you fully understand. You should never leave an medical appointment not understanding how your diagnosis was arrived at. Ask if there are any other illnesses that match your symptoms. Explore all the possibilities of your diagnosis before accepting treatments prescribed by your doctor. Register for online medical records. You will be surprised by how many mistakes you will find in your medical records. Always read the doctor's notes after the appointment. Last year, I had an emergency room visit and explained the event that lead me there. While reading the doctor's notes, there were so many discrepancies in his description of what happened. Remember, you have the right as a patient to request changes be made due to inaccurate information on your file. You just need to catch it first. Ask the doctor to read you a summary of your visit before leaving. Piggy backing off of the previous point. This is a new one for me. I recently visited a doctor who at the end of the appointment read me his summary to ensure that he heard me. Wow! Mind blown. I had never experienced this before. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor to read his/her summary of the visit. Tell your doctor you'd like a second opinion. You are in charge of your health care, and you will only be doing your due diligence by getting another opinion. If your doctor seems annoyed by this decision, then you may need to consider getting another one. No patient should be guilted out of such a decision. You have the right to ensure the best outcomes for yourself. Keep speaking up until someone listens. Advocate for yourself. Your doctor knows the body, but they don't know how you feel in yours. If you feel that something isn't right, keep speaking up until someone listens. I've had to on many occasions and I hope you find the courage to do the same. My condolences to Jessica Pettway's family and I hope we can all continue to honor all the lives that have been gone too soon.

I hope you all had a great week. If you didn't, I hope your weekend will be better. This weekend, we're having friends over for a visit. I get to play with a cute baby. I feel like that is my sweet reward for this week. It is the last weekend before the solar eclipse. I hope you've gotten your glasses. I am super excited about it. We stopped by Warby Parker where we were able to get a few pairs for free. My 6 year old asked me, "Why is a solar eclipse important?" so I told her it is a rare occurrence. Though we may not be in the point of totality, we get to experience something spectacular. I also put on a video from YouTube to further explain the occurrence of a solar eclipse. I hope we can see Jupiter in the night sky before it becomes less visible. I hope we can do some self-care and maybe a little hiking. Fingers crossed. What are your plans for this weekend? (Photo: USA Today)