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A red lip is a bold statement, especially around the holidays. I've loved red lipstick since my early twenties. As someone who cannot wear eye makeup during certain seasons, I focus on my lips. Whether I worked as a nanny, in human resources, or as a substitute teacher, I love wearing a red lip. The only time I recall not wearing a red lip for a couple of years was the early stages of motherhood where I became a very relaxed and muted version of myself. Then there was COVID-19, where I worked from home for over three years and barely wore an ounce of makeup. By this time, I owned not one red lipstick. I don't know what I was thinking, but I was clearly out of my mind. As a way to get back to my normal self, I went on the hunt for red lipstick since my old lipstick was discontinued. I was so lucky to have found my color on my first try. Here are some tips on finding your perfect red lipstick: How to Choose the Perfect Red See it on Your Skin Tone . It is recommended that we know our undertones to pick out the perfect lip color, but that may not work all the time. If you don't know whether you are a warm, neutral, or cool undertone, shopping in person is your best bet. For those who do know their undertone, you can flex your muscles with both in-person and online shopping. Choose your Finish . Color is not the only thing to consider when choosing lipstick. The finish is equally important to the final look. Here are a few things to consider: Are you looking for a long-wearing matte formula, a tinted lip balm, or a satin lipstick with high moisture? Keep in mind that a lipstick’s texture (cream, matte, or gloss) could affect the way the shade looks on your lips. If you want to ease your way into a bold red lip, a gloss is a great place to start and build from. Some websites allow you to find your perfect shade by uploading a photo of yourself and applying different shades Accentuate . Your overall look contributes to the appearance of your lipstick. You can add a lip liner to perfect the outer lines of your lipstick or for contrast. You can also go for a soft look, something dewy, or even full glam. Whatever direction you go, this is the moment to enhance your lipstick and accentuate your features. If you keep these three things in mind, you’re well on your way to finding the perfect color. Bold, Renata Poleon, 2024 (Top photo from Shutterstock)

When Thanksgiving comes around, we tend to think of the traditionally large family gathering; the kind you see paraded on television around this time of year. Thanksgiving doesn't have to be a grand affair with a large gathering if that is not what you want. As someone who grew up in a country where Thanksgiving wasn't celebrated, it took some time to appreciate the holiday. I have learned to embrace the intended spirit of Thanksgiving—family and food. For over ten years, I have chosen to celebrate with just my immediate family, my mother and stepdad. You can still create a warm and meaningful Thanksgiving experience, minus the unwanted interactions and insane amount of cleaning. If you're celebrating with just immediate family or alone, you are in good company. Here are a few ways to enjoy small gatherings for a peaceful Thanksgiving . Small Family Thanksgiving Keep it Simple . Don't feel pressured to prepare a full Thanksgiving feast. We create a smaller meal with a few of our favorite dishes that are just as satisfying. We also forgo the turkey because it is just too much for a family of four. We indulge in a roasted chicken and or leg of lamb. Focus on Quality Time . Use this opportunity to connect with your small family. Share stories, play games, or just relax together. Get members to contribute to the celebration, especially children, so they feel like they are part of it. My daughters love baking, so they will be on cake duty. Create a Cozy Atmosphere . Decorate your home with festive touches, light some candles, and play soft music to create a warm and inviting ambiance. Continue to make home a safe space where everyone feels that they are a priority . This year my daughter wants to play a piece on her violin which I can't wait to hear. Thanksgiving Alone Treat Yourself  . Indulge in your favorite foods, watch a movie , or read a good book . Enjoy the fact that you are not in a situation of forced interactions with people you may not want to be around. Whether it wasn't by choice that you're celebrating alone, use this time to enjoy your own company. You are your own best friend . Volunteer . Give back to your community by volunteering at a local shelter or food bank. Whatever way you choose to offer your time, this is a great opportunity to redirect your focus to helping others. This allows you to feel part of a community while doing an act of service that is rewarding . Connect with Others . Arrange phone calls or video chats with friends and family. Though you may not be in the same space, city, or even country as your loved ones, you can connect with them by other means. Family is where the love is present, so keep cultivating these relationships even though you're far away. Practice Gratitude . Take time to reflect on the things you're grateful for, such as your loved ones, your health, and even your personal growth. Know that you are here with purpose, so even though you may not be surrounded with the kind of love you deserve, you are grateful to be here to celebrate, even if it is on your own. Happy Thanksgiving and have a wonderful time. (Photo credit: Family Photo/Adobe Stock and Woman eating City Signal )

I recently saw a video online where a woman recorded her big reveal of a shaved head to her partner, as he came home from work. He was absolutely in love with it, while she critiqued her head for having bumps. You can see the love in his eyes for this woman, and it truly made my heart smile. About two weeks ago, I shaved my head. This is a common thing for me, because I honestly do not enjoy hair at all—and the loss isn’t great, because my hair has never grown past my shoulders. More than the factor of length, I think I look absolutely beautiful with a shaved head, something that not everyone can pull off. It shows my face and I feel absolutely confident walking around and owning my unconventional beauty. I’ve been shaving my head very often for over ten years, and in all that time my ex-husband/current partner—a story for another day has never made a negative comment about about my decision. He’d go to work with me having hair and return to me with no hair, and every time he said I looked beautiful, which I appreciate, but never really needed. He’d also rub my head for good measure which I loved. From the time we started dating, I established the ground rule that I do not need his advice or approval on what I wear, or how I keep my hair. He always appreciated my sense of style and abided by my rule. My high school principal Sister Claire said something that has stuck with me my entire life. You are ambassadors for yourselves. My mother was also the enforcer of that belief, because she encouraged me to look my best once I stepped out of my home. I was intentional about stating this, because I have read or heard one too many stories of women who decided to go for a slightly shorter haircut, only to have a partner lose his heavenly mind. It’s almost as if they forget that this is an adult who is capable of making decisions of their own and that their preference is not the deciding factor. It was honestly scary to know that people walk around prioritizing aspects of a human being instead of the whole person in front of them. You would rather destroy your partner’s self-esteem than realize they can grow four or five inches of hair back. I also beg to ask, “What if she got cancer and had to go through chemo?” One may be quick to rebut, “ That’s different. That wasn’t her choice , “ but I beg to differ. As a matter of fact, I think it gives you foresight into what many oncologists brace women for: your husband may leave you in the middle of a major health crisis . Isn’t that a shame?! At that point, it has gone beyond the hair, but the content of character. To abandon your partner in a moment of crisis, whether it be that you no longer find them attractive or that you feel the responsibility has become too great, is disgraceful. If a partner cannot willingly embrace your choice to perform a single act like shaving your head when you’re able to grow it back, what makes you think he will accept it or even find it attractive when you can’t? I am saying this for women who have body autonomy, because people embrace different belief systems that they allow to dictate how they move in this world. If you have religious constraints that prioritize your husband's feelings, or you simply like to uphold your partner's preference, this message isn't for you. I am talking to the women who move through this world with a sense of who they are and are not guided by what others think of them. The women who do what makes them happy, while also existing in loving and healthy relationships. As we say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person may find unattractive may be the most attractive thing to another. Are they wrong? No. But a woman should always own and listen to her inner voice in a way that empowers her sense of self. As she does that, without input from outside voices, those around her will not only see her vision but appreciate and love her ability to march to the beat of her drum.

We are coming to the end of the year and this is the time that we start reflecting on accomplishments and mistakes from the past year. It is also where we should start assessing our friendships to make changes for the new year. One of the most important reasons for this process is to examine how our relationships are impacting our lives. Friendships are a source of comfort and companionship—whether it’s for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. The quality of your friendships also directly impacts your emotional, mental, and physical health. So, how healthy are your friendships? I am currently watching Girlfriends , and I am on the episodes where Joan has to go to therapy. The relationship with her best friend Toni hit a hurdle, because Joan accidentally told Toni's boyfriend that she is having an affair. Toni ended that affair and was on her way to tell her boyfriend Greg how much she loved him. Armed with that information from Joan, Greg broke up with Toni who was devastated. Joan was terrified to reveal to Toni that she was partly responsible for the breakup, but when she finally did, Toni slapped her and nearly lost her mind. Well, Miss Toni made a lame and unsuccessful attempt to give Joan the impression that she slept with her boyfriend, to get back at Joan. Maya tells her she belongs with Satan of course and Joan decides to forgive Toni by pretending nothing happened. Well, something did happen and Joan was having a very physical reaction to the betrayal by her best friend. She was starting to shed like a dog. In therapy, Joan began to realize how much of a pushover and an enabler she is to her friend Toni’s behavior. She realized that not addressing the issues only put her at a disadvantage, because Toni was quite fine moving on with her life while she was left with clumps of hair in her hands to show for it. Something needed to change, and it was her. You do not need to have a friend as extreme as Toni to assess the health of your friendships. It is usually the small infractions we overlook that grow into something big. It can also be situations outside of the friendship that can contribute to the fracture and eventual breakdown. I once had my friendship break up with one of my very best friends years ago. We had almost all the traits of a great friendship: respect, trust, dependability, emotional vulnerability and we were growth-oriented. But, we lacked one very necessary trait. We weren't the best at conflict resolution, because we never had any conflict until a very minor situation arose. Unfortunately this time, rather than address a small issue, we completely stopped talking to each other for several years. As I look back, and we both agree, it was beyond ridiculous. I was having a rather difficult time with an ex-boyfriend at the time and in a mental space where I just wanted to isolate. I also felt I wasn't being heard in that relationship. I was tired and fed up, and rather than talking about it, I internalized everything. So it took one extremely minor situation with my best friend to make me shut down. I do not enjoy confrontation, so rather than have the necessary talk, we both stubbornly disappeared. Thankfully, we were able to reconnect with each other and I have promised myself to never let that happen again. This was one of those situations where fighting would have been worth it. As you examine your friendships, ask yourself, "Am I doing the work to make my friendships healthy?" Also, "Are my friends displaying the qualities that I look for in a genuine friendship?" Maintaining healthy friendships is always worth it, because we can be our most authentic selves when our friendships feel like a safe place. Having friends who feel at home is the gift that everyone deserves. I believe that the people who are meant to be in our lives all serve a purpose, so nurture the relationships that bring us joy from a place of love, kindness, respect, and care. We all deserve it. (Photo of the cast of Girlfriends: From the left Antoinette 'Toni' Childs, May Wilkins, Joan Clayton and Lynn Searcy/ Glamour )

Last night, I laughed so much, that I almost peed on my neighbor's couch—I blame my weak bladder after having two children back to back. Thankfully, I didn’t and was able to preserve my dignity and his couch. I have been in upstate New York for almost a year and a half and this is the first time that I have sat across from someone who isn’t my life partner or family. It felt refreshing to say the least, because my neighbor is hilarious. We share an age gap of a little over two decades, but we were laughing like two high school kids with the intellectual capacity and life experience of people over forty, and I loved every moment of it. We got together briefly at our other new neighbor who moved in across the hall from me. I picked up ice cream cups and cupcakes that were left over from a party he and his wife hosted. They were absolutely delightful, unlike the previous tenants whose dogs nearly chomped my face off as I exited the elevator. *** So let’s backtrack. In fall 2023, I was heading to the first day of my new job. When the elevator got to the first floor and the doors opened, two giant pit bulls lunged at me. I was terrified and upset, but I maintained my composure to not spook off the dogs even further. I watched as the previous tenant yanked her dogs back by throwing the full force of her body backward. This was the only way she able to stop the dogs from attacking me. While all this is happening, she says to me, “You’re fine, they won’t bite,” indicating that I should exit the elevator. I did not move a muscle and stayed in the elevator until she cleared my path. I think I became even more irritated by her words, because I couldn’t believe that someone whose dogs almost bit my face just minimized what was happening. I had never experienced anything like this, so her response was devastating, even as I recall this incident a year later. The adrenaline rush of it being my first day at a new job did not allow me to fully grasp what happened that morning. It wasn’t until I returned home that the shock sank in. I realized I was a foot away from possibly being in the intensive care unit. I began typing. I wrote an email to the property management office and informed them of the incident. Unbeknownst to me, there were already several complaints against those tenants. My neighbors to the left informed me of a meeting with building management that I was unable to attend, with several other tenants on our floor. Let’s just say, the irresponsible dog owners are thankfully no longer here and I didn't have to lift a finger. Now, the entire floor is quiet. *** I first met my dear neighbor who had me in stitches last night when he was having trouble with his fob to enter the building. It turned out it wasn’t his fob, but the door since mine also didn’t work. He asked, “ What apartment do you live in? ” A man asking me what apartment I lived in was not going to receive a response. I mentally side-eyed him with all my, “ Who you talkin' to? ” energy bubbling in me. It's so hilarious saying it out loud. It took a bit more talking with him to realize that I had seen him around before, though we hadn’t been formally introduced. I finally told him and realized he was a door down from me. We said our goodbyes and went to live our lives. *** About a few weeks later, we exchanged numbers. He gave off such good vibes from that first interaction that I wanted to get to know him more. I learned he lived in NYC for quite a long time. We have the same vibe of being circumspect when it comes to new people in our lives. Then a couple of weeks ago, during a conversation in our hallway, I threw caution to the wind and decided to ask if he wanted to get together for some wine and conversation. I was proud of myself for doing that, because I was convinced I would leave this residence without saying more than "Hi" to anyone who lived there. He took hold of my olive branch in the most sincere way and there we were last night having an over one hour long conversation. We are just two city souls looking to connect. He is a riot. We have a similar sense of humor and we understand each other. I appreciate and value this so much, because I am making friends of my own —not mom friends who I gathered so many of while living in the city. What a wonderful opportunity it was to sit and kiki with my neighbor. We got along like old friends catching up in the most organic way. There is so much to appreciate with this growing friendship especially being in a new city and having to start over again. I am realizing that the increasing distance between neighbors here in upstate New York requires me to be more intentional with creating new friendships and building community —unlike New York City . Armed with a new level of boldness, I am happy that I am getting a bit more comfortable with asking for a coffee meet-up or a lunch date after feeling comfortable with a person. I don't want my only friends to be the trees I hug on my hikes so I am excited to have more days like this. (Photograph of yellow roses symbolizing friendship)

Beyoncé. I say her name and it either evokes immense admiration, hate, or indifference in you. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, you can't ignore her name. With over twenty years in the music industry, she has managed to remain visible and at the tip of the tongues of so many people. But outside of her accolades, when I think of Beyoncé, the words private and fiercely protective are prominent. Ironically, it is these very qualities that make people perceive her as 'closed off.' With a reputation for being one of the most private individuals in the music industry, there is so much that everyday people can learn from Beyoncé's fierce protection of her privacy. What is also most admirable, is the people who helped create this wall of protection for her from a very early stage in her career. In the Harper Bazaar's September 2021 Icon issue , Beyoncé was asked, " How do you process the changing world of celebrity culture and protect your inner self? " She responded rightfully so with: In this business, so much of your life does not belong to you unless you fight for it. I’ve fought to protect my sanity and my privacy because the quality of my life depended on it. A lot of who I am is reserved for the people I love and trust. There is not one day on the internet that people aren’t out there defaming her character. As little as she gives the public, living such a visible life makes her low-hanging fruit and an easy target " for internet therapists, comment critics, and experts with no expertise ." It is amazing how people who have no access to the lives of others can have so much to say without evidence. All they need is a wild imagination, a microphone and a gullible audience. You do not need to be Beyoncé to know what that feeling is like. Whether you live in a small town or a big city, we've all encountered some degree of the psychological abuse of gossip. I know I have. As the lives of everyday people are being showcased more via social media, this is the time for us to think more about how we protect our privacy and our sanity. Every post runs the risk of unknowingly going viral in a positive or negative way with no ability to control the narrative. The level of intense scrutiny that can come your way will not be on the epic level of Beyoncé, but it can pose immense challenges, especially for people who do not have a public persona or a team to help control what happens. Your life may not have a lot in common with a billionaire performer and you may not sympathize much with her, but this is the perfect time to examine who you are as a person and how you would like to be treated by others you don’t know. At the very least, on a very human level, we should all have the right to privacy and the ability to maintain our sanity . For those of us who think that she needs to just toughen up or give us as much access to her life as possible, I want you to ask yourself, "Would you allow yourself to be open around people when so many wish for your demise with no valid reason?" and "Would you protect yourself and the people you love from such individuals?" More than likely, your answer would undoubtedly be "No” and “Yes” respectively. I have been a fan of Beyoncé's artistry for her entire career. I do not consider myself to be part of the BeyHive—a large following of extremely loyal fans who will banish anyone into obscurity who goes against their Queen Bee—but I do empathize with her. I cannot begin to understand what it feels like to exist in her world, but I absolutely understand her strong desire to maintain privacy, because as she stated, the quality of her life depends on it . The behavior of so many of her haters can be likened to that of stalkers, although I'm sure, many would not consider themselves that. They are the obsessed characters who go out of their way to make their unwanted presence known. Following someone on social media only to disparage their name and character is abnormal , but the sad part is that there are too many people who believe that this should be expected and accepted by celebrities. From being accused of being part of the unusually enlightened and many other allegations. It is no wonder she leads such a private life! All she has to do is exist, breathe and be, and that upsets so many people on this planet. When so much unwarranted hate and vitriol is directed at you, you go into fight-or-flight . She has chosen to fight back in the most healthy way possible. Beyoncé has given us all a masterclass on how to deal with detractors and haters in our lives. Existing and being in this world takes so much courage. Whether we're talking about Beyoncé or yourself, we all have to protect our sanity and peace. Of all the wild accusations I have heard thrown at Beyoncé, she does not take a moment out of her life to address anyone by confirming or denying anything. The level of unbothered that she displays is epic and highly commendable. I have a simple philosophy: watch how people talk about celebrities, because it will tell you a lot about their character. And by that I mean, listen intently to how people around you talk about someone they do not know personally. Listen to the assumptions they make. If they will do that to someone they do not know personally, what do you think they will do to you? Having also been accused of being closed off at some point or another in my life, I can relate to wanting to keep some people at bay, even when it includes family, who do not add any significant value to my life. It is human instinct to activate self-preservation. Keeping parts of you for the ones you love is how we should all go when faced with relational adversity, because I will know I will lose everyone before I lose my mind. (Photo by Susan Walsh/Associated Press)

The year 2024 is about to come to an end and I am excited to close it by celebrating my many highs and acknowledging the many lows. As the days creep closer to the new year, I am taking the time to assess the year's events. It is truly amazing how time moves so quickly, yet so slowly, because we then have to acknowledge if progress was made or not. I try to see my glass as half full always, so even when goals aren't met, I do my very best to show myself grace ; the kind that would be extended to me from a loving and caring friend. You see, I am that friend, and for that reason, I am looking back from the lens of gratitude . Grateful for Career Changes . An unfortunate incident occurred on October 7th, 2023 where the trunk of my car dropped onto the left side of my temple on a rainy night, leaving me with post-concussion syndrome and multiple fibromyalgia flares that made performing day-to-day tasks extremely difficult. I quit the position I was in at the end of January 2024 and began working as a substitute teacher, primarily because the schedule and the time off work perfectly for me as the primary caretaker of my two children, in a city where I have no dependable family. I believe this concussion was the catalyst for making a series of necessary changes, particularly those that involved the trajectory of my career. So many times acquaintances and random strangers would ask why I never considered teaching, especially since I am so great with children. I would sarcastically and with great humor retort that there are only a few kids that I like and that I do not like other people's kids, despite having worked with people's kids since I was nineteen and loving it. I was used to working with a younger demographic from babies to eight-year-olds. The idea of working with teenagers terrified me, because all I had to go by was the horror stories I had either heard of being reported on the news or the extremely inaccurate American films that I saw about American schools. Well to my shock, I have grown to love working as a high school substitute teacher, a far cry from the work of being a human resources specialist. I can't tell you the number of times students have called me the cool sub, the best sub, or will come to talk to me , because they haven't seen me in a while . It warms my heart to no end, because seeing them happy makes me happy. With every class I walk into, I set very clear expectations from the beginning, I find a way through small gestures to empower them with a sense of autonomy, I find something to connect on so they know they're in a safe space and allow myself to be a sounding board for their concerns. As someone with lots of experience working with kids, I can honestly say, not a lot changes from how you treat a toddler to a young adult. You treat them with respect, you allow them to feel seen and heard, and remind them that you are on their side. As much as I know this is temporary, I am loving every minute of it. In many ways, I feel like I have gotten my life back. Mental Health Check, Renata Poleon, 2024 Grateful for my Sisters . I can't talk about 2024 without talking about my girlfriends . I think of them and I want to sob from the profound gratitude I have for them, This is where almost thirty years of friendship takes you to . I am an only child, and my three best friends since I was twelve years old are the closest people I have to sisters on this planet. Though we are all in different parts of the world or cities, we make it a point to talk to each other regularly. Not a single week goes by without a text, a voice note or a funny meme—and there are so many—to each other. Our WhatsApp group is where all the fun happens and where we navigate love, joy, loss , laughter, grief, and motherhood that is just so much easier to bear with my sisters. We lay it all at the altar of our friendship, vulnerable and ready to receive the healing and nurturing words from our sisterhood in solidarity with each other. Oh, how we have all grown this year. It feels like we have hit another level in our friendship, We're talking about compounds and living out our latter years like the Golden Girls . I am ready for whatever life throws at me, because I know that they will be there to keep me afloat. Grateful for Love Renewed . Being in a long term relationship has so many highs and lows. Two lives combined alone can have its challenges and then you add the ones you create together; it can be met with intentional growth or parties checking out at one point or another. Loving isn't hard, but it is all the other factors that come into play whether internal or external. Most of us come into marriages with the best intention whether we had amazing examples or not of what a healthy relationship looks like. With both of us never having seen what a healthy marriage looks like and being taught the recipe for a good one, my partner and I were going with the flow and making so many mistakes along the way. This year, especially over the last few months, we have seen such a shift in how we show up for each other . There has always been love, but the missing pieces began coming together. There is so much beauty in relearning each other unlike we have never done before. We also have a stronger bond that allows us to keep showing up for our children, but also give them an example of what a healthy relationship looks like, something that we both never experienced. Love and Marriage, Renata Poleon, 2012 Grateful for Therapy . Seeing a therapist for the last couple of years has been a lifesaver for me. I sought help at a point in time when life was honestly drop-kicking me. As much as I am so grateful to have my girlfriends, I needed to deposit a lot and I could not see myself dropping that much of a load on them. I also needed a much more objective perspective, so I reached for help. I've had the same therapist for the last four years and not only do we share a similar cultural upbringing, talking to her feels like talking to one of my girlfriends without her being a girlfriend. It is indeed the best of both worlds. Having her as a sounding board has allowed me to preserve myself, my relationship and my friendships. As a child of an absentee father, who has become more present in my life this year, I struggled reconciling my feelings. I realized that a lot of struggles throughout my life stemmed from feeling abandoned. For a long time, I felt like the three most important men in my life were emotionally unavailable, and having to sit in those feelings was painful but healing. I realized more and more that my responsibility is to hold space for myself and they do not need full access to me. I am in control of how I want to show up in these relationships and if I want to show up at all. At some point, choosing to decenter them was the bet thing I could do. Standing firmly, 2024, Renata Poleon Grateful for Perspective . Not having it all figured out and accepting that I may never have it all figured out is sobering and contrary to what we have been taught. This year, I realized I doubled down on not participating in grind culture. I realized for a long time that part of the reason that I could not create and was limited in my creative abilities was because, I was exhausted, burnt out, sleep-deprived, and deeply disconnected from my purpose . I am still trying to find my way through it, and one of the ways I began to combat this rather robotic existence was to leave NYC and make upstate NY my new home. Change is not particularly scary for me. As someone who left their home country at the age of nineteen with nothing but two suitcases, I know what starting over feels like. I will do it as many times as I need to, to find what gives me purpose and brings me joy. I realized that I have such a spirit of adventure that keeps me going, but also teaches me to appreciate every moment. I mean, I survived another year of motherhood, still intact and the children doing well. I have to say, I think I crushed 2024. Adventure, 2024, Renata Poleon I am walking intentionally into 2025 and grateful for what 2024 taught me. (Top photo After the Snow, Renata Poleon, 2024)

Going into the new year, I thought I would have one word to guide me through the year, but I have now come to two words to be my light. The words are clarity and latibulate. I have to give Plantkween credit for the latter, because when I heard her say the word, it spoke directly to my soul. It is the word I had been looking for that encapsulates my desire in the coming year as a woman, a partner, a mother, and everything in between. I once heard someone say that so many mental health issues are rooted in a lack of clarity. I have to say, I never thought about it that way. Then I looked into my own life to see how that has impacted me. I can say for sure that one of the things I have always prioritized is knowing where I stand, whether it be personally, professionally, relationally, and in every other aspect of my life. There is nothing worse than being in limbo that will wreak havoc on your mind. I will continue to seek clarity in ways that enrich my life and preserve my mental health and well-being. The next word is truly a gem right here as I said before. It seems like I have been latibulating for about two decades based on the definition, which is “to hide or seek refuge, often as a way of protecting oneself from external threats or finding solace in a safe space. ” Latibulating is a priority for sanity and peace. Seeking refuge in safe spaces is important for all of us to grow. We find rest and safety in calm spaces ; we thrive in safe spaces. Because the way our society is hell-bent on making sure we burn out on both ends is endless. With the year we have all had as a country, those of us who prioritize our well-being can continue to latibulate . Some may take your actions as ostracizing yourself, and to that, I say let them, because only you know what you need . As I latibulate, I also recognize it as an element of preparation for what is to come . By preserving myself and my energy, I can create and respond to the call of my divine purpose. Being pulled from every direction can make a soul grow weary and lose the zeal for pursuing our passions. Latibulate for restoration and refocus, and in the process, seek clarity. Now go forth into 2025 with a purpose. Have you chosen your word for the year?

The only resolution I’m making this year is to return my library books on time. It’s not groundbreaking, but let’s be honest: that’s a level of consistency I can aspire to. As for the broader concept of New Year’s resolutions? Meh. They’re like gym memberships in January—aspirational, overhyped, and often abandoned by February. Instead, I’m embracing a delulu mindset this year—living boldly in my own universe of creativity and audacity. I’ve spent decades watching the greatest show on Earth, America , and if there’s one takeaway, it’s this: audacity is the key to survival. Forget imposter syndrome; success requires confidence so unshakable it borders on absurdity. For me, the New Year isn’t a clean slate; it’s a chance to recycle last year’s unfinished goals and reframe my so-called “overambitious” ideas. This time, though, I’m leaning into the audacity of creativity in a world that often asks for proof before it believes in dreams. Creativity, by definition, is unconventional. You’re building something out of nothing—a book, a painting, a movement. It takes nerve to believe in your ideas when the world demands pragmatism. But here’s the truth: I’m tired of running from my creative pursuits. I’ve let the myth of the starving artist hold me back, but that ends now. This year is about birthing those bold ideas and moving toward the things that scare me the most. For far too long, I’ve felt like a dry autumn leaf, carried whichever way the wind blew. No more. This year, I’m grounding myself in discipline—not the joyless, rigid kind, but the kind where intention meets consistent action. Let’s be real: the last few years have been sprinkled with mild chaos. I kept pretending I had it together, but… I didn’t. Now it’s time to call myself out, reset, and move forward. Here’s my vision: I want my life to feel like Björk’s discography—quirky, unapologetic, and uniquely mine. I imagine a future where I sit across from someone who genuinely gets my vision, someone who sees the light a younger, more self-critical version of me couldn’t recognize. Being a creative person means juggling a thousand ideas and interests, trying to weave them into a coherent story of who you are and why you exist. It’s messy, exhilarating, and deeply personal. But that’s the beauty of it—choosing to live out loud, in full color, without asking for permission. The other day, while sledding with my daughters, my eldest looked up at the sky and asked, “Mom, what if there was peace everywhere in the world?” I told her the truth: “I wish there could be, but too many people profit from chaos. What you can do is create peace in your heart and your life.” She nodded, satisfied with the answer. And I realized that’s exactly what I’m aiming for this year: a heart full of peace and a life full of audacity. So this year, I plan on living my most delusional life. The one where my identity, abilities, and all the other labels society throws at me doesn’t define my possibilities. I’m dreaming big, being bold and taking up space. Scratch that—demand space. Because life is short, and when all is said and done, I don’t want to leave this world knowing I played it safe. I want to leave knowing I lived creatively, authentically, and unapologetically. Let’s create, dream, and live in a way that proves we were here—not by conventional standards, but by our own wild, untamed visions. This year, delusion isn’t a flaw. It’s the plan. (Photo of Björk/Tim Walker/W Magazine )

If you had told me a decade ago that my greatest cheerleader would be a tiny human I helped bring into the world, I’d have laughed. But here I am, a proud mom, blessed with a nine-year-old daughter whose unshakable belief in my talents leaves me speechless. She thinks I’m capable of anything—and I mean anything. To her, I’m an artist, a chef, a comedian, and, apparently, an untapped entrepreneurial powerhouse. This post is dedicated to her, my pint-sized motivator, who thinks I can conquer the world one business venture at a time. Kids have a way of seeing the world that adults sometimes forget. They see possibilities instead of obstacles, magic in the mundane, and strength in the people they love. My nine-year-old daughter is no exception. She’s the kind of girl who watches me create art for my bedroom and thinks my art needs to be in museums. She thinks my cake decorating could rival the professionals on TV. And don’t even get me started on her opinion of my cooking—every dish I make is “the best thing ever!” To be honest, it really is. To her, I’m a walking, talking bundle of untapped potential, and she’s determined to make sure I realize it. Every time I mention a new idea—whether it’s a fleeting thought or a half-baked plan—she’s the first to light up. “You should totally do that, Mom!” she says with so much enthusiasm it makes me pause. She’ll grab her younger sister and turn our kitchen into a cheering section, clapping her hands and declaring, “You’re the best! You can do anything!” In quiet moments. She will ask how is my idea coming along. Her words are so pure and so confident that, I believe her. But then the doubt sometimes creeps in, as it so often does for us grown-ups. What if I fail? What if it’s not good enough? And that’s when my nine-year-old steps in with her signature wisdom far beyond her years: “Mom, you won’t know until you try. And you’re awesome, so it will be amazing.” Mini cakes for my daughter's 9th birthday made by me, Renata Poleon, 2024 Let me tell you, this girl has ideas . She’s convinced I could turn any one of my hobbies into a thriving business. After tasting one of my chocolate chip cookies, she declared, “You should open a bakery! People would line up to buy these.” She’s obsessed with the little paintings and sketches I make for fun. “Mom, you could sell these. They’re so pretty." When I told her I was starting a home organizing business, The Tidy Habit she was extremely excited. She would show me her organizing skills and talk about being part of the business when she gets older. Unfortunately, after moving to Upstate NY, I decided to abandon ship. Even then she asks, "Mom, will you start the business again?" Every time she pitches a new idea, I am amazed at her belief in me. Deep down, I’m touched. She truly believes I can do anything. In addition to her endless encouragement, my daughter has a knack for delivering pep talks that rival anything you’d hear from a professional life coach. One of the most profound things about having a child who believes in you is that it forces you to reconsider your own self-perception. I sometimes find myself wondering: If only I can see myself the way she sees me. To her, I’m not just “Mom.” I’m a creator, a dreamer, and someone who can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Her belief in me is so steadfast that it’s rubbing off. If my daughter has taught me anything, it’s that no dream is too big—or too small. Whether it’s starting a business or trying a new recipe, every effort matters. Her fearless attitude reminds me that failure isn’t the end of the world. It’s just a step on the path to success. One of her favorite sayings is, “It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be fun.” That’s advice I try to carry with me every day. Trip to Washington D.C, 2024 It wouldn’t be fair to leave out my younger daughter, who is just as enthusiastic about my talents as her big sister. Together, they’re like a little fan club, always ready with compliments, encouragement, and maybe a few giggles at my sillier moments. The two of them have a way of boosting my confidence in a way no one else can. They think I’m talented and capable of anything—so why shouldn’t I think that too? If my daughters can see all this potential in me, then maybe it’s time I start seeing it too. It’s so easy to let self-doubt take over, to downplay your talents and dismiss your ideas before they even have a chance to grow. But my nine-year-old’s belief in me has taught me an important lesson: The only thing standing in the way of my dreams is me. So maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith, to start that business venture or pursue that passion project. Because if my biggest cheerleader thinks I can do it, then who am I to argue? I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I do know one thing: whatever I decide to do, my daughters will be right there cheering me on. And that’s all the motivation I need to take that first step. To my nine-year-old cheerleader, thank you for believing in me. Your faith in me means more than you’ll ever know. And to all the moms out there reading this: if your kids believe in you, maybe it’s time to believe in yourself too.