My Daughter Wanted to be Homeschooled

Ever since my daughter started her first day of day care, she was on a mission to convince us that homeschooling was the way to go. Yes, you read that right! Her passionate campaign peaked at 7 years old in the second grade. Every time she brought up her rally cry, she had this spark in her eye, like she was onto something big that we adults just didn’t get.

So, after a few months of hearing her sad pleas of “Can I be homeschooled? Pleeease?” over and over, I finally started looking into it. Here are the reasons why she was so keen on homeschooling, what I learned from her persistence, and where we arrived in the great “To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool” debacle.

The Appeal of Homeschool: A 7-Year-Old’s Perspective. In her younger years, she was extremely shy and is also introverted. It took her almost four months to utter a word at her first day care when she was two. Her experience before this was at home filled with circle time, flash cards, reading, arts, crafts and science projects. I created a learning environment that they enjoyed. She still remembers my made up songs that we sang at circle time. Some days I am surprised she still remembers them. I really underestimated the value of the two years she spent at home with me creating all these fond memories.

I think so much of her desire to be homeschooled was based on nostalgia. I mean, how much can a young kid really know about the benefits and disadvantages of “traditional” versus “alternative” schooling, right? I also knew this wasn’t just about skipping school to stay in pajamas (though I’m sure that has some appeal, too!). I sensed the desire for homeschooling had a lot to do with wanting to avoid anxiety inducing social settings, the worst being school. The dynamics of making new friends is not her strength. She hates it. So, I sat down and asked, “Why do you want to be homeschooled so much?” Here’s what she shared:

“I want more personal learning time.” Traditional schools have a set curriculum, but my child wants to learn about things she’s deeply interested in, and her list is, well, unique! For example, she fascinated by the human body (all the systems), space, and science. She has stated that she wants to be a pediatrician, paleontologist and a geologist. The idea of picking what to study on a whim excites her—and I have to admit, it sounds pretty fun!

“I want more time with my family.” Yes, this made my heart melt. She was struggling to make friends and not enjoying socializing with other children, so she loves the idea of learning alongside family, exploring topics together, and sharing in each other’s growth.

“School is too noisy.” The daily grind of getting ready, heading to school, sitting in classes, and coming back home exhausted her a lot. My kiddo wants to learn in a way that feels less draining and more engaging.

“I get to make my own schedule.” She may not fully understand the concept of “scheduling,” but she does understand that homeschooling means a more flexible day. She’s drawn to the idea of learning in bursts, with breaks when she needs them, and tackling different activities throughout the day.

“I could learn outside more.” One of her biggest dreams is to study outside in nature. Whether it’s reading books under a tree or bringing the science projects outside, my child is consumed with the idea of the world being her classroom.

I considered her enthusiasm for homeschooling, and began diving deeper into the potential benefits. And I’ll admit, I was beginning to see the magic she saw. The idea of a personalized learning path, and flexibility and freedom seemed very appealing.

Of course, it’s not all butterflies and sunshine. As much as the idea of homeschooling has its perks, it also brings some serious considerations: for instance, socialization concerns for a child who is already introverted and shy, the amount or responsibility that would fall on me a the primary caretaker, requiring my career to be on the back burner and the access to resources for learning.

There was a lot to weigh. Again, I strongly suspected that her request this time around was because she was struggling to acclimate to her school, even a year and a half after moving. I told her that we will finish out second grade, see how she feels and then we can talk about it again. She was happy with that even though it was not the outcome she wanted. I think she was just happy I wasn’t saying no.

As we got closer to the end of second grade, I noticed more confidence and more talk of friends by their names. She finally said she wanted to remain in school, because she likes her friends, and she doesn’t want to finish high school and realize “I didn’t learn all the things I needed to”—these were her exact words. Wow! I couldn’t believe my ears. I was happy to hear this, because I wasn’t ready to make the life altering decision of homeschooling her.

I guess it worked out for all of us. To another year of public school!