Slaying Dragons

This week has been a challenging one, to say the least. One of my girls got severely sick with a troublesome one hundred and four degree temperature. And guess what that meant? I was home for all three days with my sick, sweet baby girl. My younger daughter on the other hand thought she could be absent by proxy until she realized, that’s not how this works. She had an epic meltdown while declaring her concern and love for her sick sister’s wellbeing. As much as I appreciated her strategic thoughtfulness, I didn’t budge and she still had to make it to school on time. Yay me! I deserve a prize and a snack.

While at home, I started thinking about how much—primarily mothers— sacrifice for our children’s wellbeing. Many may argue that once you become a mother, you’re relegated to the automatic responsibility of childcare, but I am so happy that my generation and those behind us are pushing back against this ideal. In our home, we go based based on who is available to work from home. If that person is needed in the office, then we go based on who makes less. With the way the cost of living is snatching us all by the jugular, whoever has less to lose takes over the childcare at that time. We send the other to slay the corporate America dragon.

Dragon breathing fire

Thankfully, I survived those three days and now I am back to my day job—working with teenagers. Who would have thought that working with teenagers would be one of the least stressful parts of my day? As I sit here, one jumps into my class to say “Hi,” just because. Because of them, my fears of the teenage years with my two daughters have subsided. I know it’s not the same, but I am realizing the strategies that work with them. As someone who has been working with kids since I was nineteen years old in all age groups, I think I am cracking the code. A good balance of giving them a sense of autonomy, respect, and a healthy sense of humor goes a long way. Most value authority in a way that isn’t constricting or overbearing, because it gives the feeling of being heard.

They’ve now started coming to me to talk and complain about the teachers and subs they think are being difficult. It’s quite funny the way they sometimes arrive out of breath, but leave being able to get a different perspective and a clearer picture of what it takes to adapt to different personalities in an academic setting. I hope that my words stay with them even as they move into their professions after graduation.

My experience as a mother and someone in the field of education takes me back to my roots. I think of the fundamental values that were instilled in me by the people in my life, and one particular person comes to mind. She is the OG dragon slayer, a woman who committed decades of her life to service as an educator leaving quite an impression on the lives of many young girls and women.

Saint Joseph's Convent, St. Lucia, W.I

Who could have imagined that Sister Claire, a petite and stern nun who once served as the long-time principal of my high school, St. Joseph’s Convent in St. Lucia, would leave such a profound mark on my life? I am not sure if the quietest shoes known to mankind were handed out upon becoming a nun, but she built a reputation among us for just appearing out of thin air. She possessed a witty sense of humor and a painful ruler that we all affectionately called “Tickler.” On a rare occasion or two, Tickler made contact with my body at a time when it was and still may be legal for an educator to hit your child in St. Lucia.

It was quite a time and a generation. If you reported to your parents, you received little to no comfort. You were better off consoling yourself through internal dialogue, rather than dealing with the possibility of another spanking from parents who followed a philosophy of spank now and ask questions later. I don’t think they even bothered to ask questions, because no explanation could suffice for making your teacher or principal have to spank you. In the minds of most parents, your teacher was right, you were wrong, and it was your fault, no questions asked.

I was quite lucky that my mother was the anomaly in that I barely ever got spanked—not that I can remember—but she would ask and lean into the belief that I probably did something to deserve it. Thankfully, that too was also a rare occurrence.

Sister Claire led a group of hormonal, teenage girls like the champ that she was. She humbly ushered us from girlhood into womanhood by simultaneously displaying exemplary strength and gentleness. It was her leadership that helped many of us come into our identity, overcome difficulties, and encouraged us to forge our paths. St. Joseph’s Convent was where I learned the value of sisterhood, education, acts of service, good manners, and etiquette. To this day, I still believe that good manners and acts of service are social currency that help us all navigate the world with grace and consideration for others.

Here, in some small way, I am one of thousands fulfilling the legacy of a woman who played a pivotal role in my life. Her values and the values of my alma mater built a resilience in me that connects to who I am today as a mother, an educator, and a human being.

Who in your life has left a beautiful legacy in you?