Yesterday, we were gifted the most beautiful rainstorm. As the self proclaimed pluviophile that I am, I smiled from ear to ear, while lying under the covers. I eventually made it out on the porch to experience this beautiful, natural phenomenon. I was content. It lasted about fifteen minutes and it was like nothing happened. The streets quickly dried up from the sunshine and heat that preceded the rainstorm. But then came a much dreaded text message from building management about an outage in my neighborhood. Whyyyy?! Later on, I picked the girls up from the bus stop and shared the news with them. I prepared them for the walk up the dark stairwell. I lead with two timid girls with the flashlight from my phone up the stairs, whle my older daughter also used the light from her phone to guide the way. We made it to our apartment, and the girls let out a huge sigh of relief. They realized the apartment was indeed brighter than the dark stairwell and hallway as I told them it would be. They did their usual after school routine, followed by some painting, reading, having a dance party—primarily my older daughter—and a few minutes on their pads. We then had dinner followed by a few complaints of boredom from the older kid. I repeated my favorite saying, “Boredom fosters creativity.” She didn’t want to hear a word of it. Not a single word in this moment, but she had no choice. As we moved from the evening sky, sunset, twilight and then the night sky, we found refuge on the porch. I dragged an extra twin mattress, a bean bag, pillows and blankets, along with some bug spray as we camped out and stared at the night sky. We kept the chitchat going for a while and discussed the movie for our family movie night. We then settled on the series “Blackish,” a show the girls have been enjoying and love so much. “One episode, because I need to conserve my power in case of an emergency,” I warned. They couldn’t care less. They were just excited to do something with me. We huddled, each person protected by their individual blanket in case the mosquitoes wanted to make dinner out of us. I guess the bug repellent I sprayed around us did its job, because we were safe the entire time. During the show, they got distracted by the stars in the sky and the passing airplanes from the airport nearby. The show ended and we walked into the house, bringing everything in with us. We then all went on my bed. There was no way they were sleeping in their rooms by themselves tonight. My younger daughter lay in the middle and my older to the far left end. They said how much they enjoyed hanging out on the porch under blankets to watch their favorite show. It was perfect. Shortly after my little one fell asleep, I decided to make a mad dash to the car to get the flashlight I kept in my car for emergencies. I reminded my older daughter that she will be just fine. When I returned, I set up the flashlight and turned it on. This tiny flashlight brightened the room to a shocking level. We were both amazed and tested it out in a few other rooms. We returned to the bedroom, placed it on the bedside table nearest to her. I told her if she woke up and the electricity hadn’t come back, she could use it. Shortly after, she fell asleep. In the morning, when my older daughter got up, she walked over and gave me the biggest hug. She said, “Thank you for helping me feel okay in the dark last night. I don’t think I am super afraid of the dark anymore.” I hugged her and smiled. “I’m glad to help you anytime sweetie.”

Interest in the fiber arts is on the rise. At every turn, I see someone creating a work of art—something to be proud of in a time when instant gratification dominates. What many people do not realize is that fiber arts is not just a hobby or skill that has survived for millennia, but a powerful mental health tool. For that reason, I am so grateful to my mother for teaching me how to crochet me at a very young age, and my public scool teachers in the Caribbean who taught me how to do embroidery. Though my use of these skills go in cycles, I never lose my touch. Much like riding a bike, once you’ve done it, it stays with you. Over the last year, I have gotten back into crocheting. The stack of unused yarn has been asking to be wrapped around my crochet pin, and I have finally chosen to listen. There is no better time than summer to grab the crochet hook and get creating. Here are three items I have made so far, and so can you: Crochet Shirt for Breezy Days: A crochet shirt is a great summer project because it combines comfort with style. I chose a lightweight cotton yarns for this shirt to keep the fabric breathable. The open stitch patterns such as mesh or lace add extra ventilation, making the shirt perfect for warm weather. Coverup for Poolside or Beach: This crochet coverup is a must-have for summer. It’s easy to make and adds a handmade touch to your swimwear. Choose yarns that dry quickly and feel soft against the skin. Cotton blends are ideal because they are absorbent yet lightweight. Bookmark for Summer Reading: Summer often means more time for reading, whether on vacation or relaxing at home. A crochet bookmark is a small but thoughtful project that makes a great gift or personal accessory. It’s quick to make and allows you to experiment with colors and textures. This project is perfect for beginners and can be completed in an afternoon. What crochet projects are you working on?

What are you up to this weekend? This week has marked the start of summer classes in my MSW program, so I am looking forward to a nice break. We plan on making it to The Egg for a day of family fun. I hope you enjoy the fireworks if you’re able to. This week, I posed the question, “How do you manage your busy life?” to my fellow social work graduate students who are moms. I also did a deep dive into the world of organizing and managing my time. I may spend some of my time this weekend curating a system that works for me, because I need something that works. I have not done one bit of recreational reading, so I am slowly trying to give For Her Own Good a second go around. There is a song that has been making the rounds on social media in a deeply profound way. It sheds light on the subject of grief, a theme that has been recurring for me personally and on many levels. How Earthsignchels captured the raw, visceral and volatile emotions associated with grief in one song and the performance of a lifetime is beyond me! Wow, just wow! Lately I have been been saving every interesting video on crochet, embroidery and watercolor art I could find on pretty much every platform. I am working on a crochet bag inspired by the Miu Miu crochet tote bag. To good vibes. (Photo captured from COLORS and Earthsignchels performance/Youtube)

Do you ever feel like you're living in a sitcom, but instead of laughing, you're just trying to survive your 9-to-5? My life has at many times felt like an episode of "The Office" meets "Survivor." Here's a glimpse into my hilarious (and sometimes tragic) adventures of trying to navigate stressful work environments: Episode 1: Sounds of Hunger Picture this: It's 7:30 a.m, and I clock in to work just in time to grab documents that I prepared for an early new hire onboarding. I'm starving, but I'm on a tight schedule, so I keep driving for an hour to meet with the new hire—sometimes annoyed I am driving one hour to onboard one person in 2023. On cue, my stomach starts growling while I'm sitting in the room, and I'm just praying that the new hire does not hear any of it. Of course she did, so I say something funny to break the ice. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning, because I'm stuck in there for another 30 minutes. We both just pretend nothing is happening at every growl. Yikes. Episode 2: The Email Avalanche Ah, the joys of modern communication. One minute, you're catching up on emails; the next, your inbox resembles a digital avalanche burying you alive. You're now regretting your life choices and seriously considering homesteading as a way of life, because surely, this cannot be what I dreamt of. I also can't help but wonder: who thought it was a good idea to hit "reply all" to share their grievance about not being invited to a team gathering—drama! And why does the universe conspire to send urgent requests the moment I step away from my desk? Episode 3: The Meeting from Hell We've all been there – trapped in a never-ending and sometimes useless work meeting where you try to appear engaged, while secretly plotting your escape. Whether it's the boss's latest obsession with team-building exercises or a PowerPoint presentation that rivals the length of "War and Peace," every minute feels like an eternity. But then, your supervisor gets to the end and says, "Are there any questions?" I'm holding my breathe in pure terror hoping no one says yes, but then marvel at the audacity of someone to ask a question that makes us suffer even more. For the love of .... Episode 4: The Office Drama No workplace would be complete without its fair share of drama. From passive-aggressive emails or Post-It notes to whispered gossip, navigating office politics is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. Even worse is when you can't help but wonder: is this really what I signed up for? When you're on the receiving end of that behavior, you just have to remind yourself that you're too broke to retire, don't want to be a sugar baby and you have bills to pay, so you report to work as a shy introvert and ignore every one. If it has nothing to do with work, you have nothing to say. Episode 5: The Great Escape I cannot tell you the number of times I have imagined grabbing my purse and jumping from the window with the perfect landing of a superhero, running to my car, and driving off. In the end, sometimes the only solution is to make a break for it. Whether it's sneaking out early on a Friday or taking an extended bathroom break to collect my thoughts (and sanity), finding moments of respite becomes a survival strategy. When I clock out for the day, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all – because sometimes, laughter truly is the best medicine. So there you have it: my comedic journey through the wild and wacky world of stressful work environments. I have now taken to working remotely, which still provides endless material for a sitcom-worthy blog post. Cheers to surviving another day in the office, one laugh at a time! Hope you enjoyed the humorous take on navigating stressful work environments! Let me know if you'd like to add anything or if there's a specific aspect you'd like to explore further. (Photos: Feature photo by Jess Shoots/Unsplash , Graphic Photo by Aaron Blanco Tejedor/Unsplash)

Earlier this year, I was required to do an impostor syndrome test and I scored extremely high. This isn't a good thing. I’ve long been aware of these feelings, but the magnitude of it shocked me. In addition to the general state of feeling like an impostor most of the time, I experience a more niche kind of impostor syndrome that has to do with my mothering. I frequently feel like a phony parent even when I am giving my absolute best . Why, you may ask? There are many reasons, but before we get into that, let’s sort out what impostor syndrome is. The term was first coined by the clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in the 1970s. It is defined as a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity and incompetence despite evidence that you are skilled and successful. People who exhibit this syndrome frequently feel like frauds, and that they will eventually be found out, even though they are highly competent. This is me overall, regarding not the way I show up for my children, but rather how my shortcomings magnify my small failures as a mother. I am a great mother by all standards—I know that. I am attentive, engaging, loving, nurturing, kind, thoughtful, empathetic and I allow my children to feel like they have a voice, but somehow, I always feel like I am not enough or do not provide enough for them. I frequently have a sense that there is something that I am not hitting the mark on or I can do better. This feeling is most prevalent when I have raised my voice at my children out of frustration. I feel horrible, even though it doesn’t happen frequently. I used to commute daily with my children on NYC subway to get them to school. I was doing my best to hold it together in situations like crowded trains with agitated children or even during a happy conversation with my babies. Random strangers—not that I need their validation— would come up to compliment me on my parenting. My neighbors would frequently compliment me on how involved I am with my children. Having an older West Indian women tell you that they admire your commitment to being a great mother is not easy to come by. Again, I am quiteaware of it, but for some reason, I judge myself harshly in small mistakes and still feel like a fraud. I was a nanny for many years so I am more than capable and competent when it comes to being with children. I was prepared for this, but when it comes to my own, I feel someone may figure that I don’t know what the hell I am doing. But then again, what parent knows what they’re doing all the time? Unfortunately, I have to acknowledge that I have a slightly warped sense of parenting. I feel like I need to remain calm in all situations like some stepford wife. Yelling for me feels out of control and uncomfortable, and for that reason I have placed an enormous amount of pressure on myself to maintain an impossible amount of control. It hasn’t been productive. Ironically a few months ago, someone used the stepford wife analogy to describe me and I took some offense to it. Even though I said nothing in response to that, there was some truth to it. That I have to admit, even though I think the comparison is a bit extreme. I am slowly learning to combat these feelings, by being honest about the severity of my impostor syndrome and how it makes me feel as a parent. I have an amazing sister circle who listen and encourage, and also my therapist who reminds me of how much I do and to show myself compassion. I am learning to stave off self-doubt by trusting my decisions, because I do not take being a parent lightly. I bring the right attitude into my parenting and I am always willing to learn. I remind myself that tomorrow is an opportunity to do better and hopefully not repeat the mistakes of the days past. I am also working on knowing my value as a mother. I am learning to believe that I am enough. My children tell me so much how much they love me daily. They smother me with kisses and hugs daily. I see genuine happiness in them and I know that it is my display of love to them that shows them how to love me. I know that in the early part of the pandemic, these feelings were at an all time high for me. I have found that starting everyday with the words, “Today is a great day and I am a great mother,” have helped me believe in my heart that I am an amazing mother. If you struggle with parental impostor syndrome, I say to you, you are an amazing parent. If you still can’t shake off the feeling, seek out a therapist. You are enough.

Hi everyone, Another Week, Another Crisis: The State of America and Me. If you’re feeling anything like I am, I know you’re experiencing an inexplicable, deep-seated level of fatigue. This is induced by a political climate that is hell-bent on destroying all of us; the worst part is that we just made it through week two. Every day, we’re being body slammed into another political firestorm that none of us asked for, and even though we keep trying to tap out, someone grabs us by the leg and pulls us back in. We’re in a knockdown drag-out fight for our lives, so the fatigue is real, and so many of us are already over it. Unsplash Despite the constant turmoil, communities across the country continue to fight back against those seeking to take away our human rights. Whether through protests, mutual aid networks, or pushing for legislative change, people are resisting the normalization of corruption and incompetence. I am proud of us for building resistance, but resistance can be exhausting. This is where self-care is a requirement.

Hi! How is your week going? The weather has been amazing lately in the Capital Region, and I am happy to enjoy a little heat even though being hot isn’t my happy place. I’m grateful for rising serotonin levels and all that free vitamin D. This week has been great with the girls. As always, we enjoyed good food, being outdoors, beautiful art, and wonderful sister moments. We are in peak tulip season in my neck of the woods, so I enjoy watching them bloom. Fibromyalgia and Mental Health Awareness Month We are in the month that recognizes two causes near and dear to me. As someone who lives with fibromyalgia, I talk about the many ways that fibromyalgia affects my life and my mental health. Catch up on these stories on the blog that address these two important topics and the areas of life they affect. Career: How Substitute Teaching Became a Gift at a Difficult Time Parenting: 3 Most Valuable Lessons My Children and I Have Learned from My Chronic Illness and Parenting through Pain: Navigating Motherhood with Chronic Illness and Love Relationships: Chronic Illnesses: When Sticking to a Routine Gets Hard and Tolerable Unhappiness and Female Desire and Lina of “Three Women” Life: 5 Ways to Have More Mindful Interactions With People Who Have a Chronic Illness I really hope these stories serve as a great resource for you. Be sure to leave your thoughts and words of encouragement. Celebrating Motherhood Mother’s Day is coming up soon and what better time to revise an old post Motherhood as Ministry: A Sacred Calling. I show appreciation to the ones who have chosen to be childless, a decision that shows the highest form of self-awareness. As a mother, I wholeheartedly support any woman who decides to blaze her path without the added pressures of motherhood. Motherhood has such a major impact on all facets of life that it would be irresponsible to not consider the ramifications of such a life-altering decision. “Whether you view motherhood as birthright, obligation or choice, in its most authentic form, motherhood is ministry.” Here are some of the ways that motherhood is ministry: Nurturing Hearts and Minds. As mothers, we tend to the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of our children. We become their teacher and their source of love and guidance. The simple act of listening and comforting our children is ministry to their hearts and minds. It shapes them into compassionate, resilient, and thoughtful individuals. We may not always get it right, but focusing on doing better with every new day is how we can fulfill this role. Cultivating Values and Virtues. Mothers play a crucial role in instilling values such as honesty, kindness and empathy in their children. As we interact daily with our children, we model these virtues, guiding them to understand the importance of integrity, compassion, and respect for others. As we heal and protect our inner child, we will keep passing on these lessons learned. Creating a Safe Haven. In a world filled with challenges and uncertainties, our love and support offer a sense of security and belonging. A mom’s goal is to create a haven for her children. Moms also need support from their tribe and nothing feels better than when needs are communicated and everyone is up to speed. In the meantime, whether it's through a warm embrace, a listening ear, or a comforting presence, moms will continue to provide refuge, solace and strength. Embracing the Sacredness of Everyday Moments. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to overlook the sacredness of ordinary moments. Yet, in the eyes of a mother, even the most mundane tasks become sacred acts of love and service. Whether it's preparing a meal, tucking her children into bed, or sharing a laugh together, a mother recognizes the divine beauty in these simple gestures, knowing that they are building bonds that will last a lifetime. Growing Together in Faith. A mother guides her children on a journey of faith. Whether it's through bedtime prayers, family rituals, or conversations about life's big questions, a mother helps her children cultivate a sense of wonder and reverence for the world around them. Together, they explore the mysteries of life and deepen their understanding of their place in the universe. Money Saving Tips at Your Local Library If you’re not already on Threads, join the conversations happening. I am learning so much in this space. I came across a post from Two Sides of a Dime, about how you can maximize the use of your library card for significant savings of a little over $10,000 yearly. I love my local library and I already used it in so many ways including trips to the museum, but here are some other suggestions by Eduek. Audiobooks Museums Movies and music Coworking space Event space LinkedIn Learning Markerspace Toys and gaming consoles Videogames Gadgets and gear I would encourage getting in the comments, because people added more ways that Eduek did not mention. Let’s all save money together. Summer Camps Savings. I did one thing this week that is going to save my family almost $8000 in summer camp costs for my two girls. This isn’t a tip for everyone, but it can be greatly useful to a stay-at-home parent, or a parent with summer breaks who has the time and means to make use of this opportunity. It is called a work trade. Typically, a work trade is where volunteers offer their time and skills to work in exchange for free accommodation. In this situation, a work trade allows a parent to volunteer their skills and services to a summer program their child(ren) can attend for free. I initially sent an email briefly explaining my circumstances and requested a scholarship or a trade of my skills with an attached resume. As I mentioned, this isn’t for everyone, but a very useful and helpful option for those who can. With that said, have a fantastic weekend everyone. Take care of yourselves and each other.

What have you been up to so far this weekend? This weekend marks the last weekend before I end my first year internship as a masters level student in social work. Woohoo! I made through the first, yet challenging year of being a practicing social worker. I am so amazed that I am still here standing. Carrying the load of mother, student, and many other titles has left me sometimes very depleted. What I can say is, I am happy to end this chapter and focus on some things that I have been neglecting, like rest. The best part is as one door closes, another opens. I was offered a clinical position at the outpatient side of the same organization, which makes it all so amazing. As I gear up to say “See you later,” to all the clients and colleagues I have built relationships with, I can take comfort in knowing that this is not truly the end. Today, I happened to go in to a Planet Fitness for a quick workout, for the first of what I hope will become many. I got a great instructor who was really kind to show me the ropes and how to achieve the best results. My adventures on Threads are becoming a nice addition to my life with the most random posts that get people’s attention. The latest starts like this. “My elementary school aged kids have told me that some of their classmates got bed at 11:30pm and later.” All I can say is, read some of these comments. I’ve been slowly reading The Parable of the Sower and goodness me. I just have no words for it. Just borrow from your local library or use their app Libby for easier access. If you haven’t started watching Testament, please start now. I am into dystopian content of any form, so this occupies my reading and viewing content. Enjoy what you have left of the weekend.

What are you up to this weekend? I know I’m a bit behind schedule, but Eid Mubarak to all my brothers and sisters who celebrated yesterday! It was also the first day of spring, so I hope you have something fun planned. After taking care of my girls, who were both diagnosed with influenza B, I found out yesterday that I have it too. Let’s just say, it’s been rough, and I’m on the mend. But in true Renata fashion, I managed to squeeze in a little adventure before my urgent care visit. I drove up to Wilton, NY, to pick up a beautiful ladder bookshelf from Facebook Marketplace. It was totally worth the trip—just look at this beauty! Since I can’t do much this weekend, let’s recap some of the fun things I did over the week. Art Workshop Adventures I facilitated an art workshop at my internship. I was thrown into the deep end, but we made it work! My co-facilitator whipped up some tanghulu desserts for our members, along with other amazing snacks. It was a blast! Thrifting Treasures I went thrifting at my favorite shop, Captain’s Treasures . I stumbled upon a box of vintage National Geographic magazines. They were a childhood favorite of mine, and I couldn’t resist! Nature Calls I got a quick glimpse of the mountains near the King Phillips Campground in Lake George. I suddenly felt the urge to go for a hike. Nature always has a way of calling to me, doesn’t it? Baking Bliss Yesterday, when I still felt a bit well, I made a yummy batch of Trader Joe’s Blueberry Muffins Mix . They turned out delicious, and the smell filled the house with warmth and comfort. Crafting Comfort I’ve also made some major progress on my queen-sized chenille blanket. It’s already a big hit with the girls! Once I’m done with this one, it’ll be theirs. Crafting is such a therapeutic way to spend time, especially when you’re feeling under the weather. Embracing the Mundane As I reflect on my week, I realize how important it is to find joy in the little things. Whether it’s a spontaneous trip to pick up a bookshelf or baking muffins, these moments add up. They remind me to appreciate the everyday experiences that make life beautiful. So, I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, embracing whatever brings you joy. Remember, it’s the small things that often make the biggest impact. (Ernest Porzi/Unsplash)

For about two months, it seems like everyone around me, whether at work or home ahas been sick. First it was Strep and the girls are now recovering from influenza B. While at the urgent care with my younger daughter the doctor recommended Robitussin, but then said, “They’ve found that straight honey works just the same.” Of course it does. It’s a staple for most home remedies for colds. As much as we all enjoyed the spoonful of honey, we all still have a lingering cough. It’s obvious that honey alone isn’t working, so now I feel it’s time to bring out the strong stuff. So rather than talking in cough English (like my daughter calls it when we all cough at the same time), I will be making a large portion of the lemon, ginger, turmeric and honey tea of my childhood. The potion that coughs hate to see coming is here and I am happily sipping. I’m so ready to get back to my regular self. What are your home remedies for a cold or the flu?